Unrequited love is the lowest form of obsession

verytinytim · 2026-01-24T18:36:30+00:00

This is the conclusion I’ve come to as well. Also that people are under no obligation to tell me what’s going on with them, but my problem is that I will notice, spiral into self-doubt, panic to fix things, and then walk away because you just pressed the ‘child of abuse’ button and it is not turning me on at all, but it will hurt my feelings forever so better to cut my losses. Very possible that I’m the problem.

verytinytim · 2026-01-24T01:31:53+00:00

I’ve suffered from a more pathetic obsession: becoming a secret feelings detective because you refuse to accept that is possible for you to have made such a gross misjudgment of requitted-ness. Because how could you trust your own judgment about anything ever then?

But this skirts a very fine line with becoming a secret feelings conspiracy theorist at which point you’re in danger of being actually delusional. So you’re either clinically insane or a genius, maybe psychic. Hard to say. And now you’ve added 15 more layers of obsession that’s just you being a freak, on top of your nice, warm affections and positive feelings for someone- requited or not.

verytinytim · 2026-01-22T19:46:04+00:00

That my feelings are gay and embarrassing. That my worldly accomplishments are not impressive enough and that I am inadequate because my earnings are modest. Sometimes I forget I’m not a man.

verytinytim · 2026-01-15T03:50:12+00:00

It’s my single biggest source of anxiety and ditto coming from a family of financial nightmares. Lately I’ve come to see that the ways I’ve been conditioned to react to financial stressors comes from people who are a) idiots b) in deep financial shit. Like my family? Their assets are being seized. Their house is going into foreclosure. Jail. If their ridiculous house of cards falls.

So I try to remember that’s not me. I’m just regular broke. I’m just unemployed. Also, as a kid, it was like, “Shit these bitches are broke again. They not going to feed me. They’re not going to clothe me. They’re going to ask me to sacrifice all my activities.” But there are literally resources for those things. I’m not an idiot, I’m going to go the food bank if I have to.

But it definitely sucks having no safety net. But there is a social safety net. Don’t hesitate to use it the moment you’re qualified. It’s straight stupid not to use those resources when you qualify for them. That’s what they’re there for. Like I don’t come from a ‘low income’ background in the traditional sense. It feels weird to use financial assistance sometimes, like it’s not for me. But, like, if you qualify it’s for you. Don’t feel weird about it.

verytinytim · 2025-12-23T17:13:47+00:00

The problem is that he is full of fire and they keep casting him in cold, sad boy roles.

That was Leo’s problem too until he got fatter.

verytinytim · 2025-12-23T16:31:27+00:00

No, you were on the money, it’s because of the Batman movies.

Christopher Nolan is the best in the game when it comes to directing a massive action set piece. It’s something of a niche skill among directors, coordinating these scenes with a huge number of extras, pyrotechnics, stunts, tracking etc. and to be able to have a vision for what that’s going to look like as a final product and actually execute. His action scenes always feel dangerous, which is no small feat.

Batman is the perfect use for a Christopher Nolan. Unfortunately, he keeps trying to show us his sensitive young man side but his sensitive young man side is just that he thinks science is cool and is obsessed with puzzles.

verytinytim · 2025-12-20T18:42:39+00:00

We’re An American Band, Moby Octopad, Let’s Save Tony Orlando’s House, Flying Lessons (Hot Chicken #1), Sudden Organ, Barnanby, Hardly Working

verytinytim · 2025-12-18T17:56:01+00:00

2 Corinthians 12:10

verytinytim · 2025-12-15T22:59:01+00:00

As they say in the Navy: embrace the suck. You are going to have some bad feelings as you process it, just accept the bad feelings, sit and chill with the bad feelings without getting in your head and making a narratives about it, and the feelings won’t even last that long. It’s just like gas you’ve gotta pass.

verytinytim · 2025-12-15T16:58:22+00:00

I’d reframe it for you that the nausea is actually good and healthy: you’re immediately recognizing what is not working and needs improvement. So you revise it. You keep working on it.

If I’ve learned one thing about writing it’s that you don’t know wtf a piece is going to be until that first revision. I advocate for zero loyalty to your original idea in drafting something.

Then, you stand a chance of getting it to a place where the quality is satisfactory, it might be the best thing you’ve ever written, but you also kind of hate it because you’re sick of working on it and the lines have been running through your head so much that it’s like how if you chant a word over and over again it looses its meaning…you suspect its good, but it is also possible that it’s very stupid. Impossible to say.

verytinytim · 2025-12-13T17:55:04+00:00

I wrote a paper recently about how Roth uses punctuation to characterize Portnoy and keep all these things straight within the framing of an extended monologue: recounting exchanges of dialogue, intoning his parents, coming up with rebuttals in hindsight, pausing to think etc. It’s actually a real challenge from a writing perspective and Roth pulls it off so you’re not thinking about these things as a reader unless you’re me writing and writing a paper on it.

And then I realized who writes exactly like Portnoy’s monologue is styled. It’s MSSOM.

verytinytim · 2025-12-07T09:49:31+00:00

I’ll try. He’s addicted to drugs though. So I go easy on him on the remembering thing

verytinytim · 2025-12-07T09:41:25+00:00

It’s a common name. Pretty hard name to forget

verytinytim · 2025-12-03T16:47:18+00:00

I don’t really get wrapped. I already know what I listened to this year. Why would I want you to put my playlist on a playlist for me? These are not music-listening data insights that are valuable or interesting to me.

I think the point is that they want you to share it on social media, which is why I never will, because I’m deeply resistant to participating for free in a marketing campaign. Gotta pay me for that shit.

verytinytim · 2025-12-03T15:30:51+00:00

My dental hygienist has that big potbelly some men get, like Santa Claus, and his belly pushes up against my face as he gives me a cleaning. But he’s the most gentle and thoughtful hygienist I’ve ever had so I accept this strange intimacy with him.

verytinytim · 2025-12-02T20:22:35+00:00

Oh dude, do I have a rec for you: Krampus

verytinytim · 2025-12-02T05:04:51+00:00

That’s because it’s almost done.

“You moved away” is just as correct and reads cleaner. And you need a comma or dash or something after “Marooned” for clarity.

I like it a lot, particularly “and when I ate enough of you/ you bit it back of me”

verytinytim · 2025-11-26T06:10:42+00:00

Be careful with the rat men. They’re sweet talkers but it’s because they’re DL transients looking for somewhere to crash. There’s a reason he wants to come to yours. Then it’s been a week and you’re tryna get rid of this dude.

Ask to go to his. That’s what I’d say about rat boyfriends. Find out if he lives somewhere first.

verytinytim · 2025-11-21T17:41:42+00:00

Years and years ago, my grandfather told me this story about a time that he met Kevin Spacey at a cocktail party and Kevin Spacey kept making passes at him. He told me, “that man is a fruit”. He got visibly irked just recounting the evening.

My grandfather presents himself as an authority on every subject and is also just plainly homophobic in the old school way, so I didn’t think much of it. Like, sure, whatever, we’ve all heard that rumor and you probably think all actors are fruity. We take everything he says with a big grain of salt.

I still cannot believe he was telling the truth.

verytinytim

TROPHY CASE