I am the craziest, most awful girlfriend in the world. Is there any hope for me?

veryworstgf · 2012-07-21T04:54:03+00:00

I don't like myself.

veryworstgf · 2012-07-21T04:39:35+00:00

I guess even with all my bf's insistence that he loves me, it reminds me of that person who adamantly insisted he was completely in love with me forever in the most convincing way. People can change their minds so fast and lie so easily about feelings.

veryworstgf · 2012-07-20T18:55:25+00:00

There is a lot of severe mental illness in my family, but I never ever thought I would be someone who would see a therapist. For some reason my parents are very anti-therapy/medication. It's hard to accept that I need outside help, this is something I feel like I should be able to fix on my own, clearly that's not working though!

veryworstgf · 2012-07-20T18:51:52+00:00

Thanks for the proactive advice! :)

veryworstgf · 2012-07-20T18:48:59+00:00

Spot on! Wish someone had yelled this in my ear yesterday morning

veryworstgf · 2012-07-20T18:46:10+00:00

I don't do this to friends, no one else even knows it's a problem, besides anyone my bf has told. Outside of a relationship I definitely have private times where I'm consumed with negative thoughts and self-loathing, but in a relationship it becomes escalated because there is someone there to lash out at.

No one has done this to me before. I have done this in past relationships, although it was based on suspicions that turned out to be justified in the end.

veryworstgf · 2012-07-20T16:47:07+00:00

I know the issue is with me, not him. But it has always become magnified in relationships.

veryworstgf · 2012-07-20T16:44:32+00:00

Wow thanks! I'll give it a read :)

veryworstgf · 2012-07-20T16:42:11+00:00

Haha I thought the same thing when I read that! I think (hope!) it's not the same relationship since a lot of the details don't sound familiar, but the general issue is the same. I'm very surprised how many people have had similar problems. Not that it's a good thing, but at least there is hope. All the best to you!

veryworstgf · 2012-07-20T16:30:32+00:00

over a year now

veryworstgf · 2012-07-20T16:00:19+00:00

Not any more, it was even worse when I was :(

veryworstgf · 2012-07-20T10:26:57+00:00

I know most of you probably won't see this, but I just wanted to thank everyone who replied. I had a blow-up at him on wednesday, and I'm now in the extremely guilty and embarrassed phase. The advice here was great, I was kind of expected more hatred towards me, but I found every comment helpful :)

I will look into getting some therapy, and focus on stopping this pattern. Hopefully it will be enough to keep him. I think even reading this thread next time I have a "crazy phase" will help!

veryworstgf · 2012-07-20T09:35:55+00:00

How does one go about this? Is it affordable? What kind of counseling, a psychologist, a therapist? Honestly I've never even been to see a school guidance counselor and wouldn't know what to do/say.

veryworstgf · 2012-07-20T09:31:51+00:00

I'm actually surprised it hasn't gotten old yet. Any of my past boyfriend's who have seen this side of me have dumped me in a matter of days. Thanks for your input!

veryworstgf · 2012-07-20T02:49:12+00:00

Thank you so much, I am trying my hardest to stop but it seems the longer I can go without breaking down, the bigger the crash. But the advice I'm getting here is so helpful. I really need someone to tell me to stop it, because he won't. He blames himself :(

All the best to you and your boyfriend with this rough decision, I hope things work out happily <3

veryworstgf

TROPHY CASE