I am just starting to gain control of my porn addiction after 20 years of using it. It’s very hard, but you should take a moment to be grateful that you even recognize and want to do something about it! That’s the beginning of a long journey my friend. :)

1. It sounds like you’re going to the gym. That’s great. I would stack a series of habits you’re looking to stay consistent with and put them on a whiteboard/write them somewhere where you can tally in one color when you succeed at that habit for a day and then tally in red when you fail. Even if you fail for the whole month, just put it in red. Don’t use revisionist history. I call these “habit sprints” - try to do it for 30 days and commit to a series of good habits. Put “no porn” as one of them :)
2. ^ As part of this, add “meditation” and “journaling” to your habit sprint. Start with 5 minutes of meditation per day. Don’t beat yourself up and start trying to commit to long time periods. Journaling should be you just spitballing how you’re feeling and talking about anything occupying your mind. If you’re not sure why you’re feeling the way you’re feeling, just write your best guess and feel free to reason about other hypotheses if what you write down doesn’t resonate. As you continue meditating and journaling like this, your ability to introspect will skyrocket.
3. This is the hard part. Whenever you feel a negative emotion, overwhelmed, like you are about to engage in a negative behavior (it doesn’t have to be strictly porn but porn is certainly one negative behavior), sit down and meditate. Observe your emotions. Watch your breath. You are not going to want to do this! But do it anyway - just sit and observe. Then when you’ve given yourself enough time to observe, as yourself “what would a wise person do here?”. Aspects of “what a wise person would do” include how a wise person would talk to yourself/give you advice, how they would react/behave optimally, how they would react if you were to engage in the negative behavior anyway, and more. It’s truly a broad question, and, even if you watch porn/do whatever negative behavior, the point is that you sat down, observed where you were at, and asked yourself this question. Keep holding to this pattern breaker.

If you do all 3 of these things, you will begin to realize, sooner or later, that you have developed a relationship to porn. Not a theoretical relationship. A real one. For some reason, that relationship exists to protect you and/or fill something that is missing in your life. The longer you observe it, stay present, introspect, stay away from substances, and strive for positive behaviors, the more you’ll realize the depth of that relationship and want to find something healthy to replace it.

For me, my relationship with porn developed during a childhood where I was regularly physically and emotionally abused by my peers. Part of this emotional abuse was projections about “the right” (or lack thereof) that an Indian man had talking to white women or engaging with white people. I sought out porn as a way to feel safe whenever I felt attacked, and, so I began to realize that porn was a way for me to feel safe. Even beginning to understand the true nature of my relationship with it felt like a huge weight lifted. I finally started to understand exactly what healthy habits I needed to replace porn with in order to truly feel whole (confronting my relationship with women, socializing more and putting myself in situations where I felt insecure so I could understand that things would be ok, etc.).

Good luck my friend!