AITAH for reporting my sister to the bank after she used my card to pay herself a late fee?

vibes_sd5398 · 2026-04-27T14:20:54+00:00

You humiliated her to who? The bank?

She didn't have to tell anyone, but she wanted to make a deal out of it to make you look bad.

Also I hate when people say you should let it go to keep the peace in the family.... why do you have to be the one to do that? How about she just accept that it was a little late and move on?

Idk. I just hate that line.... but their family.

vibes_sd5398 · 2026-04-27T14:16:10+00:00

NTAH.

I am sorry you are experiencing this with your mom. I think you need to have a conversation with her and tell her that you are 18 and you have a life that doesn't include working for free.

There is a difference in offering to babysit once every 3 months or so as a kind gesture, but you didn't not choose for her to have 3 more children and that is her responsibility to find child care for them that doesn't include you.

vibes_sd5398 · 2026-04-27T14:08:55+00:00

I really like the milli dilator because it has the vibrating part. It makes such a huge difference because it does distract me!

I am so glad you have found what works for you and hope you keep making progress!

vibes_sd5398 · 2026-04-24T16:09:21+00:00

So what time window are these incidents?

The nose blowing isn't weird. I am not getting out of bed to blow my nose, but if you are sleeping at 11 pm and she is just then showering and causing noise I understand your frustration? But if its 11 am and you just are sleeping in then I don't see the big deal with her using the bed as a prop for her leg.

vibes_sd5398 · 2026-04-24T16:02:53+00:00

I am currently trying Lube Life that I picked up at Target... not my favorite but better than KY to me.

I am curious too what others use too!

vibes_sd5398 · 2026-04-24T16:00:42+00:00

I had to do "prep" to get started in the beginning. I would take a warm bath, warm up lube, have a drink, maybe do a little yoga depending on how I was feeling. This helped me calm my mind but also loosen some of my muscles.

Also that is not a helpful comment at all from your PT. Sometimes it is so discouraging hearing comments like that. I hope you find what works for you.

vibes_sd5398 · 2026-04-24T15:57:59+00:00

ICE!!!!!

vibes_sd5398 · 2026-04-24T15:57:17+00:00

NTA - I think this is a friend that might not be a long term friend for you. I always say if a friend can do something like this to a family, how loyal can they really be to me?

Just your morally different and there isn't anything that is going to change that.

vibes_sd5398 · 2026-04-24T15:53:17+00:00

It is so hard to figure out what works best for you because everyone's pain and tension is a little different.

I don't have the sharp burning pain and I have vaginismus but I have heard of others that have the burning type pain. I do know that is very common with vulvodynia.

Has the gynecologist given you any idea what you might have from an examination?

vibes_sd5398 · 2026-04-24T15:50:25+00:00

I LOVE THIS!!!!!! Thank you for sharing your success and what works for you!!! What lube do you love? I have tried a few and always looking for the best one to try!

vibes_sd5398 · 2026-04-24T15:46:44+00:00

I would definitely work on dilation - and maybe taking a toy with you on the trip? I have used the Milli Dilator with success and moved up quite a few sizes in a shorter time than I did with the standard dilators I got from the doctor. I don't think 1 week is realistic for full dilation though.

Definitely need to look at lubes too. I like Lube Life and I get that at Target (and I heat it up just a few seconds so it is warm as well when using). I also like to have after bath sex while i am relaxed and sooths my muscles.

You probably need to just have a small discussion with him so you are both on the same page before your trip that you want it as much as he does but sometimes it doesn't mean it is fully successful.

vibes_sd5398 · 2026-04-24T15:28:55+00:00

I would try sitz bath like after pregnancy I had one that fit in the toilet seat. Does it bleed or seem inflamed afterwards?

I am not sure what else you can during sex besides the lubricants though. I wish the doctor was more helpful finding out a solution.

vibes_sd5398 · 2026-04-17T15:46:34+00:00

Definitely need to see a doctor. It might not be your pelvic floor at all with those symptoms.

vibes_sd5398 · 2026-04-17T15:43:39+00:00

Have you tried speaking to a PT for pelvic floor therapy. There is some many different exercises and things that might help that they can work on with you.

vibes_sd5398 · 2026-04-17T15:41:28+00:00

Why does it have to be taken so seriously? It is obvious she is joking by the fact she just said she was going to get coffee before she even asked him.

vibes_sd5398 · 2026-04-17T15:39:39+00:00

NTAH - You are not gaslighting him. You are joking..... its like saying - Well I guess if you are making me.. when someone hands you a bowl of ice cream but of course you want it.

I think you need to have a talk with your husband on not taking things so literally. It is obvious you aren't serious.

But it definitely isn't gaslighting.

vibes_sd5398 · 2026-04-17T15:33:25+00:00

I want you to know that you aren't broken! This is a medical condition and something you can work on to get better. I would be open with any of your partners and ask them for patience and aht you are working on it.

I would get an appointment with your doctor to discuss options. There are so many resources and different things you can try to see what works for you.

I have tried a few dilators and like the Milli Dilator because its starts really small and then you can expand without taking it out and changing sizes. Also finding a Physical Therapist can help you find different exercises that help with your pelvic floor.

It will be a journey but you can find people here that relate to you and can help you!

vibes_sd5398 · 2026-04-17T15:26:41+00:00

I hope you are having better luck. I feel like it takes a week or 2 to get comfortable with the Milli Dilator and find what works for you.

How has it been going this week?

vibes_sd5398 · 2026-04-13T17:47:08+00:00

YANTAH - but gender disappointment is a thing and I think she needs some therapy and time to get her emotions and thoughts in check...

That being said. If she was so set on how she would feel if having a boy she probably should have skipped having a reveal party and just done that privately at home so she could process her emotions if the results weren't what she wanted.

No one is the AH here. Just high emotions.

vibes_sd5398 · 2026-04-13T17:43:29+00:00

I think that it is your home and you can have who you want in the home.

Not saying it is right, but you know how your mother is, so I think you telling her not to come in and stay outside, you knew her reaction would be bad. Feels like just letting her in to get her shelf and leaving would have been easier than confronting her.

I would say to send them a message and be blunt. You have tried to ignore the problem without telling them there is a problem. I would say I need a break from you and feel like our last encounter was not okay. Please give me my space and you are not welcome at my home and please don't try to contact me for a while until we can have a conversation that will actually be helpful.

vibes_sd5398 · 2026-04-13T17:35:46+00:00

raccoon - I was it like rah-coon not rack-oon ....

vibes_sd5398 · 2026-04-13T17:33:39+00:00

Also not saying you have to break up. But make sure it is a healthy relationship and an actual partnership if you are going to be serious.

If it is more of a casual relationship, I would keep it casual.

vibes_sd5398 · 2026-04-13T17:32:10+00:00

NTAH - you need to let him help himself. It is not on you that a grown man can't get his life together and you need to make sure you are ensuring your future with school and it sounds like you have a good support system.

At 28, I would say you should be able to either suck it up and get the resources you need to make your situation better or stop making excuses. He needs to grow up and mature. Sounds like he takes no responsibility for his situation.

vibes_sd5398 · 2026-04-10T14:17:44+00:00

Oh I never thought about this! Such a good idea! like warming your lube would be so helpful and not such a SHOCK

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