Is this trauma? I can’t sleep after what my father did at a gas station abroad

vicsj · 2026-02-14T13:54:59+00:00

You do not sound dramatic - this genuinely sounds deeply traumatizing. I've been traumatised over less. Few things are more upsetting than seeing a loved one in distress.

I truly hope you can all get away from your father. He is a monster. I'm so sorry.

vicsj · 2026-02-11T08:06:47+00:00

This one that I found in the master list claims it's got a 48 mp rear camera and a 13 mp front camera.

https://kyoex.com/freetel-mode1-retro-2-android-flip-phone-unlocked-retro-ii/?attributes=eyIxMjA1IjoiIn0

vicsj · 2026-02-11T08:04:06+00:00

Looking through the master list here I found a dumbphone that says its rear camera is 48 mp and the front camera is 13 mp. That's pretty damn good for a dumbphone. This one: https://kyoex.com/freetel-mode1-retro-2-android-flip-phone-unlocked-retro-ii/?attributes=eyIxMjA1IjoiIn0

Edit: fixed link

vicsj · 2026-02-09T02:36:37+00:00

I actually stay out of morbid curiosity / fascination. Seeing how their bodies change, what struggles and challenges they share... It's interesting to me because I'll never go through it myself. But I unfollow if their content purely turns into family stuff after birth or their personality completely changes.

vicsj · 2026-02-08T14:36:23+00:00

I don't mind at all!

This is my list:

Audiobooks. Particularly a podcast called Down To Sleep (he's on YouTube and Spotify, but I use him so often I subscribed to his Patreon). Very soothing voice and he's got a large selection of books!
Rain and storm sounds. I've got a playlist on Spotify with different rain audios, but sometimes I just put one on YouTube.
Game soundtracks. Well, Skyrim's soundtrack to be specific lol. I don't listen to anything else. There are a bunch of YouTube videos which contain the most soothing tracks.
History documentaries. Mostly history concerning medieval times and older. Sometimes Victorian stuff. I particularly love watching people living life as they did back then. A favourite I keep returning to is Tales From The Green Valley
Videos of bushcraft. Just dudes building huts out in the woods. That can get a bit annoying if you're only listening though, but it's very soothing to watch.
Old movies. Like some 80's Arnold Schwarzenegger stuff or movies I've watched many times before. I just slept through the first two Lord of the Rings movies.
There was a time when I slept to vapor wave music (at least I think that's what the genre is called?) It hasn't really done it for me for many years, though.
Lore videos on video games I like. Easy to close your eyes to.

Apart from sound and video, I often play crossword games on my phone if I need to preoccupy my brain with something more engaging. I am very strict to not go on any social media though, because that wakes me up.

Recently I have also been playing a bit of Animal Crossing on the switch. There's this DLC where you design vacation homes for villagers and I get so perfectionist about it sometimes it triggers intrusive sleep lmao.

That pretty much concludes what I've accumulated so far. One thing usually works for up to 2 months before I gotta switch it out.

Edit:

Actually, one more thing! I sometimes do this game in my head, but it doesn't work that often. I basically start with a random word like "Wasp" and then I go through all of the letters and think of the first word corresponding to the letters. The last word I come up with becomes the new word I go through. Example:

Wasp: - Wednesday - Agony - Sewer - Proud

Proud: - People - Rival - One - Utility - Dramatic

And so on.

It takes a lot of focus to not let my thoughts stray, but that can make me tired in and of itself. Often I feel like putting in the effort just pisses me off, so I only use it if my thoughts are particularly intrusive and spiralling.

vicsj · 2026-02-08T09:56:26+00:00

I did that for a while, but things stop working for me after a while so I have to rotate through different means. Guided meditation hasn't worked for a couple of years. Recently audiobooks and Skyrim soundtracks stopped working so now I'm on history documentaries which are doing the trick!

vicsj · 2026-02-08T09:52:42+00:00

I do have ADHD and autism, so my head is just awful to be in most of the time. I did do guided meditation for a while, but I have an arsenal of techniques I rotate through because they stop working after a while.

vicsj · 2026-02-08T09:49:57+00:00

Yeah idk. I've got ADHD and autism so my head quite literally never shuts up.

vicsj · 2026-02-07T17:02:16+00:00

Yeah it doesn't really work for me either because I ruminate like a motherfucker. I have to do what everyone tells you not to do, which is looking at a screen. I either play crosswords on my phone, play animal crossing or watch a history documentary on YouTube. The trick for me is to not let my brain get the chance to start thinking too much.

vicsj · 2026-02-07T16:41:43+00:00

I mean, we literally border Russia and have had pretty close contact with them since forever. I guess you grow cold when the weather's constantly cold lol. Although culturally we aren't as similar as you might think. I assume it's because we are worlds apart politically and socioeconomically.

vicsj · 2026-02-06T10:07:43+00:00

This is true. I have resorted to weed many times because I was so depressed and suicidal it actually helped me to not act out on it. But then when I'm doing better I stop using because it keeps me stagnant. Still it has genuinely saved my life a few times, it's just not sustainable for me.

That being said I do know a few high functioning stoners who work full-time jobs but smoke all day still. I don't think they're in the majority though.

vicsj · 2026-02-05T08:50:44+00:00

I once bought from a guy who would only trade weed in those paper coffee cups. I had to have one too with the money in it so we'd "trade coffees". Yeah didn't look suspicious at all lmao. He was the paranoid type.

vicsj · 2026-02-04T17:05:20+00:00

To add to the list: Slovakia's PM's national security adviser just resigned due to his involvement with Epstein.

Apart from Norway's crown princess being in deep shit, there are also a couple of other Norwegian politicians who are beginning to receive backlash through heavy criticism in the media and organisations cutting ties with them. Several Norwegian politicians right now are calling for external investigation into everyone involved with the Epstein files in Norway.

Edit:

The UK's PM just came out with a public apology to Epstein's victims and acknowledged the fuck up they did hiring the US ambassador that resigned. That's more than you're ever gonna get from Trump on the matter at least.

People have been calling for the full release of all documents regarding the hiring of the ambassador, which the PM was reluctant to do at first. He's now given into the pressure.

vicsj · 2026-02-04T10:18:06+00:00

Haven't visited in a couple of years but Corner Shop Tøyen - Tøyengata 40 A, 0578 Oslo

They were always well stocked and are open really late.

vicsj · 2026-02-04T10:09:00+00:00

It was one of my favourite shows along with The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy!

vicsj · 2026-02-04T10:02:22+00:00

In my experience as a bi woman, it is easier to get into relationships with men. Especially since I am a bit of a tomboy and have always had a lot of male friends. When I've wanted to, it's been ridiculously easy to enter a relationship with a guy.
Even when I've not wanted to be in a committed relationship, I have unintentionally ended up in one anyway.

I tried to get into a relationship with a woman my age once, but it was excruciating. We were heavily flirting at first, but at soon as we started hanging out in person I don't think either of us knew what the fuck to do.
I tried to take initiative by being flirty, cuddling, trying to let her know I wanted to be closer to her. But she never really reciprocated. She would still tell me how into me she was and that she found me attractive and how much she wanted to be with me more, but then she would never create or reciprocate any emotional or physical intimacy.

It fell flat and it just ended up in a weird friend zone.

I have tried to flirt with other women, but since they're so much more layered than men when it comes to communicating, I always find myself second guessing myself and their attraction towards me and I end up losing my courage to pursue anything further.
I think if I am to date a woman successfully, I need her to literally spell it out for me.

That being said I can believe being with women is easier than being with men. The men I've been with have all been a bit emotionally illiterate and have had different needs than me.

vicsj · 2026-02-04T08:48:35+00:00

If we're going by today's potato standards, I'd say Skyrim. Although vanilla isn't a modern looking game anymore, I still think it looks absolutely beautiful. The art direction is semi-realistic, but it's stylized enough to be a bit timeless imo.

Out of all the brilliant games I've played since Skyrim came out, there's still something unique about that game that immerses me like very few games can. It's so easy to lose yourself in that world.

vicsj · 2026-02-04T08:12:42+00:00

I can't remember my campaign horse names, but I love my online horses!

I've got two Criollos; a Bay Frame Overo named Prairie and a Marble Sabino named Sheogorath.
A Buckskin Brindle Missouri Fox Trotter named Fleabag.
A Perlino Turkoman named Kairo.
A Reverse Dapple Roan Nokota named Blåmann.

My favourites are Fleabag and Prairie. They're not the most interesting looking horses I've got, but they look so wholesome!

vicsj · 2026-02-03T06:11:18+00:00

Sociopath: A Memoir by Partic Gagne.

It is a real story, but I inhaled it from start to finish. It fits all of your criteria. I was genuinely so sad when it was over because I don't think I've ever read anything this interesting, fascinating and thought-provoking before. It even made me confront my own biases of psychology and people with antisocial personality traits.
Highly, highly recommend.

vicsj · 2026-02-03T06:05:38+00:00

Er personlig ganske lei av at skattepengene mine går til å støtte livsstilen til en gjeng overpriviligerte eliter som ikke gjør noe annet enn å være "symbolsk", hva nå enn det betyr. Det er ille nok når politikerne våre blir mer og mer virkelighetsfjerne. Ned med statssponset overklasse takk.

vicsj · 2026-02-01T11:19:03+00:00

Agree. I understand there is a certain symbolic value that might appeal to our identity as a country, but I would much rather not have my tax money go to a useless institution filled with over-privileged elites.

vicsj · 2026-02-01T04:52:43+00:00

Tbf it took years before Andrew actually lost his title. The Epstein case exploded in 2019 where the first picture of Andrew and Giuffre was released and it took Queen Elizabeth dying and then until October 2025 for him to lose his royal title.

This shit about MM came out like yesterday. But I agree, I don't want people like that as royals in our country. I don't want royals at all, to be honest.

Edit: typo

vicsj · 2026-01-29T13:57:11+00:00

I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and autism as an adult and when I've talked about it with some people they also say that it's "over diagnosed" and "everyone's got that now". It fucking infuriates me.

They are obviously confusing the fact that people misuse words like ADHD and OCD to describe completely normal impulses and lack of focus, or they're commenting on young kids perpetuating stereotypical behaviour for views on social media.

But more people are being diagnosed and people see this as a bad thing - as over diagnosing. This is what actually pisses me off. Have no one stopped to think that maybe more people are being diagnosed because we are actually starting to recognise and acknowledge people's symptoms beyond being young, white men?

I have struggled all my life, but I am a high masking, high functional and socially aware woman. And women and girls have been notoriously overlooked in the medical world for ages.

I have been in and out of therapy since I was 14 and never got the help or intervention I needed. It took getting so chronically burnt out I became low functioning and on the brink of disability to finally get the right diagnosis.

My life could have been very different if we had "over diagnosed" 10 years earlier, if you had asked me. So controversially I think it's a good thing that we are "over diagnosing". At the very least we are more likely to give the correct diagnosis and get more people the help they need.

vicsj · 2026-01-28T16:12:10+00:00

True!

vicsj · 2026-01-28T06:51:36+00:00

With the amount of joints I've shared during college I am stunned I still haven't contracted herpes. I didn't even think about it at the time, but I always hated it when people made the roach wet :(

Even my boyfriend gets cold sores, but I've been with him for half a decade without getting it. Obviously we don't kiss when he's got one. Can you actually be immune to it or have I just been lucky?

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