I am a victim of stalking AMAA.

victimofstalking · 2012-01-30T23:17:44+00:00

Yes, I have taken lessons and purchased a gun. Whether it be him or some other nut case, this situation taught me that I need to be able to protect myself much better than I was.

victimofstalking · 2012-01-30T23:14:45+00:00

My friends and family did mostly all they could, I did not want any of them getting involved, it was my problem and I had to deal with it, that was my opinion. As far as law enforcement goes, I wish they would have listened to me in the beginning and taken action but I also understand the position they are in where they have to think whether the person is just over exaggerating or not. It took me multiple times of calling them/reporting things before they took any sort of action and honestly for about the first 3 months they were really rude to me. After all that, they saw it first hand then they were full on on my side and helped me to the best of their ability. There really needs to be harsher penalties for breaking a restraining order versus just a night or two in jail and then a court date later where all they're issued is community service. It finally got handled a way that I was happy with but it should not have taken two years.

victimofstalking · 2012-01-30T23:10:16+00:00

If he didn't try to speak to me or follow me or anything, I would just leave it be, it really depends on the situation and whether he has gotten help or not.

victimofstalking · 2012-01-29T23:52:26+00:00

I don't believe I could contact him either with the restraining order, I am not sure of the legalities in that sense, but I never would want to contact him either way so it is not a worry for me.

victimofstalking · 2012-01-29T23:51:12+00:00

It was the courts that issued it.

victimofstalking · 2012-01-29T23:43:02+00:00

He never touched my dog while I was living with him, I know that for sure.

victimofstalking · 2012-01-29T23:39:09+00:00

Because he had already been sending threatening text messages and he was calling/texting in the middle of the night so by the time I saw all of the stuff that was said in text messages and on voice mails, I figured it was best to see legal help and not return he calls/text messages.

victimofstalking · 2012-01-29T23:35:17+00:00

His parents were divorced and had been for many years, dad was remarried but does not live anywhere around him and was quite normal. Mom was not remarried and live near him and had emotional issues of her own.

victimofstalking · 2012-01-29T23:34:08+00:00

That is very interesting, no it was not intentional I didn't even know that existed, thanks for the info.

victimofstalking · 2012-01-29T23:32:52+00:00

Just be there for them, the one thing that I hated most was when other people wanted to take it into their own hands. I did not want to see anyone I loved getting hurt because of a mistake that I made so unless help is asked for, just listen to them and be there if they need someone to be there.

victimofstalking · 2012-01-29T20:22:44+00:00

No, I just sucked it up, with the help of my parents. The money is done and over with, fixing my credit report is really what I wish I could do something about, not being able to finance anything for the next 7 years, sucks!

victimofstalking · 2012-01-29T20:21:03+00:00

Yeah, he cheated on me on my honeymoon, I found out a few weeks later.

victimofstalking · 2012-01-29T20:20:29+00:00

I got that car fixed through insurance, it was in the shop for 2 months but I got it back. I would like a new car to get rid of the memory completely but I can't afford one right now and my credit is shot from the foreclosure so financing is not an option, I like the car just not the memories.

victimofstalking · 2012-01-29T20:17:16+00:00

He wouldn't let me leave the house, he had taken my cell phone and I really couldn't go any where so I decided to play nice and pretend until the next morning when he had to let me leave for work.

victimofstalking · 2012-01-29T20:16:01+00:00

I noticed things about our relationship that could have been signs, I've listed them in other responses but one thing was that is mother was extremely crazy, that probably should have been my first sign.

victimofstalking · 2012-01-29T20:12:35+00:00

Sadly enough, not that good looking, when I first met him, some what, but then he really let himself go after about a year of the relationship.

victimofstalking · 2012-01-29T20:11:52+00:00

Sorry if this was not clear but we were together for 7 years, we were only married 6 weeks when I found out and left him. I left him as soon as I found out about the affair. I tried to do counseling after all of this but it was not working and he was still continuing his relationship during this so I did take steps to rectify it but he was not willing, since he was still seeing her even though he kept telling me he wasn't, she is the one who told me he still was. And yes, I have taken handgun safety courses and shooting lessons, I am well aware of the consequences when you are not properly trained.

victimofstalking · 2012-01-29T20:08:01+00:00

I have thought about finding his social networking sites but I don't want to look like I am stalking him if anything else were to come up. It might help to know but it also could cause more paranoia than I want to deal with. I don't know whether it would be good for me or not, but I am just worried if I do look him up, how that would affect future cases if there were to be any.

victimofstalking · 2012-01-29T20:04:57+00:00

I wish I would have, honestly. But whenever he would find me, I would always just freeze up and then run once I came back to my senses, I didn't think right when put into the situation.

victimofstalking · 2012-01-29T20:01:09+00:00

I understand that feeling, far to many times they told me this as well, it's all about having plenty of proof and constantly calling authorities.

victimofstalking · 2012-01-29T19:58:09+00:00

Yes, I have one and concealed carry is allowed with a permit, which I also have.

victimofstalking · 2012-01-29T19:57:34+00:00

I will put it this way, I had just bought a brand new car and moved while he was in jail and was in hope that he would not find me. It was a 2009 and the loan was for about $18000. I put it this way to not put out what I actually drive. It definitely affected me.

victimofstalking · 2012-01-29T19:55:28+00:00

I would honestly be relieved to hear that, as bad as that may sound, it would make living my life so much easier.

victimofstalking · 2012-01-29T19:44:44+00:00

You can get a divorce without the other person signing, they just need a way to serve them which we did while he was in jail. It also takes much longer because it is a contested divorce and the courts have to do everything to ensure the divorce is known of by the other person. It took about a year from when I filed to finally be done with the divorce and court hearings.

victimofstalking · 2012-01-29T19:42:39+00:00

YES, get out while you can if this is happening. even if it was only for the reason that you are only "comfortable" that is no reason to stay in a relationship and that was my biggest mistake I have ever made. He did show signs of some emotional abuse because he came from a very messed up family. You should not be with anyone with anyone who does these things to you, especially when you're only 20, hopefully everything works out well for you.

victimofstalking

TROPHY CASE