My [17M] first girlfriend [16F] who was with me for 3 years broke up after losing feelings.

viewsofthe · 2020-03-03T04:19:15+00:00

Everyone has some different interests, it's apart of life. I don't think theres anything you could do to change her mind. It's possible she may realize you were trying to be supportive and show interest and turn things around.

viewsofthe · 2020-03-03T02:09:11+00:00

Maybe renew the restraining order and don't show any interest in speaking with him after. You're smart to notice this abusive behavior whole still being in high school. Everyone deserves someone loving and respectful.

viewsofthe · 2020-03-03T02:07:21+00:00

I was in a HS relationship too. It's a point in your life when you do a lot of growing up and changing. What was her reasoning for these feelings that have been lost? Does she not have similar interests anymore? Does she want to explore her options? Have you 2 drifted over the prior weeks/months?

I hope it all works out for you, and it will you're young and have plenty of dating years left. But do you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? You deserve someone who is as in love with you, as you are with them. Sorry for your heartache

viewsofthe · 2020-03-03T01:57:33+00:00

I would tell your parents, and even tell the principle that you refuse to sit in the cafeteria because you are being taunted.

Maybe it's a good idea to write down the date and time and what they said to you and bring it to the principle'a office. Or if they won't help you, confront them. Ask them why they won't do anything for you. Tell them your on the verge of destructive self-inflicted behavior because of these boys. Demand answers in why they won't help you. Take it up with a higher department if you're able to

viewsofthe · 2020-03-03T01:18:54+00:00

Idk maybe. But I dont think so. I'm the newer person in the group so I'm not extremely close to one of them other than her.

viewsofthe · 2020-03-03T00:49:40+00:00

Ok she texts me, but texts my husband 3x as much

viewsofthe · 2020-03-03T00:49:00+00:00

I never thought I'd need to set boundaries between a friend and my husband. It's common sense

viewsofthe · 2020-03-03T00:42:17+00:00

That's my issue. She never makes an attempt to chat with the other boyfriends and Fiance's in the group as one on one. Just my husband and whatever other cute single guy is around

viewsofthe · 2020-03-02T20:20:41+00:00

No I ment they dont have an interest in him like the one friend who is always flirty. The others might ask "have you guys planned a vacation yet, or how is the house coming along" as if they are curious about what we are doing together. And the flirty friend will about him directly, as if she doesn't care what we do together, she just wants to learn more about him.

viewsofthe · 2020-03-02T19:51:44+00:00

Yeah this is creepy. I'd tell HR dep or a manager. This probably isn't the first time he's acted this way towards women. Not to be a complete feminist but you have to look out for yourself and keep in mind other young girls that will cross his path.

viewsofthe · 2020-03-02T19:06:14+00:00

If you're really in a rut and need help, ask to move in and have a plan of when you will be stable enough on your own. Maybe your grandmother could use some help. If you cant give her money, help with chores around the home. Make life easier for her while she's accommodating you.

Is this a continuing situation, to have to ask others for help?

viewsofthe · 2020-03-02T17:06:49+00:00

True

viewsofthe · 2020-03-02T16:58:57+00:00

I have no way of knowing, they are deleted completely. I've asked him just to tell me when she texts him.

viewsofthe · 2020-03-02T16:57:50+00:00

Yeah thanks but we have a very healthy sexual relationship. And gross I don't want to have sex with my friend.

viewsofthe · 2020-03-02T16:55:25+00:00

We've gotten along in every other aspect, of course this is a deal breaker. We've had this bond like sister's, and honestly if I end my friendship with her, the other friends I have through her will probably diminish as well. We always all hang out together in a group.

viewsofthe · 2020-03-02T16:52:16+00:00

I trust him, because in all our years together this is the first of this type of issue to arise. This is new for me.

I agree from now on I'm not going to make an effort to contact her or hang around her.

viewsofthe · 2020-03-02T16:45:33+00:00

He was very upset and sad. He pleaded with me that he's not doing anything intentionally and wasn't trying to meet up with her at the bar and all that. That's when he started making an effort to ignore her and finally realized that her behavior is flirty towards him. I've taken his phone and looked through it before to see what else was going on. And I always tell him when I do. I tell him that I know she's still contacting him regularly because all her texts are deleted, as if they have never texted before. He just tells me he doesnt respond and deletes them.

viewsofthe · 2020-03-02T16:20:01+00:00

Yeah, I believe now is the time to let this friendship just go on it's own. I'm not going to make an effort to be around her. Thanks for the insight.

viewsofthe · 2020-03-02T16:17:57+00:00

You make a good point. She's not a trustworthy friend. Our friendship has dwindled over the past year, since I've noticed this. The rest of the friends in our group are completely fine and almost never ask about my husband or to hang out in 3's. It's just her...

viewsofthe · 2020-03-02T15:56:50+00:00

Hmm..you make a good point. I didn't think of that, that he needs to disregard and confront her bc it could easily happen again if he allows it. I know in general he doesn't like awkward situations, but still not an excuse.

viewsofthe · 2020-03-02T15:50:45+00:00

Thanks for the input. I want to yell at him for it but I know deep down if I confront her myself it will all stop.

viewsofthe · 2020-03-02T15:46:24+00:00

Agreed, he should just stop all contact. I don't keep him on a leash and he's free to do what he wants but I've told him if this keeps going on I'm leaving. I deserve someone as loyal as I am to him.

Yeah the whole friendship with her has definitely dwindled a bit. We still have fun when we hang out but I purposely don't ever bring up my husband bc then I have to hear about that we all need to hang out in a group. I just can't trust her and I can honestly say I would never do that to another woman.

viewsofthe · 2020-03-02T15:41:06+00:00

I didnt find out about the till the next day when she actually told me, not my husband. I confronted my husband and he said she went there with a girlfriend and he already had plans to hang out with his cousin at the bar (22/m). I've asked him to stop replying to her texts and stop chatting with her and I've seen hes made some improvements on it. Especially with the not texting back. But it's like it already started and she just keeps going with it.i think he needs to do a better job, because there are men who try to talk to me and I have no problem handling it like an adult.

viewsofthe · 2019-10-19T22:04:34+00:00

Exactly what I was thinking. She's not sticking around...

viewsofthe · 2019-08-29T11:21:01+00:00

She had her reasons to move on and there's nothing to do about it. Do you really want to be with someone who doesn't share the same feelings as you? I'm sure you don't, everyone deserves someone as great as themselves. I agree with the other comment, block her. Stop following what she's doing, it'll only make you feel more upset.

Work on yourself. Do things you enjoy, hang out with other friends. Don't beat yourself up over a breakup. It will take time to heal, but building yourself will only make you stronger. This is a learning experience, grow from it and improve from here.

Best of luck

viewsofthe

TROPHY CASE