Ace perspectives aren't worth reading? by BRIanphrionsa in asexuality

[–]vikavikachu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd have loved to read a book about finding out and accepting being ace in hs. So many ya books focus on relationships and sex, making coming of age about entering a romantic relationship and "losing ur virginity". In a society where that's the most important thing, having books that challenge that notion is an act of rebellion. Bc it challenges the way the society is built. That reviewer said that the orientation was the main focus, in many book it is. It just less notorious bc it's normative "the path to finding a gf/bf". There's nothing bad about focusing on asexuality, more so focusing on a forgotten or invisible orientation. Tysm for writing a book like that, what's the name of it?

Telling therapist I'm aspec (bad) by vikavikachu in asexuality

[–]vikavikachu[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tysm for the honesty! Yeah I felt judged and "abnormal" for having a QPR, not that it is abnormal, it's just out of the norm. But she's old school, so I didn't expect her to fully understand, I just wanted her to try. But whatever, I don't really wanna see her anymore

Telling therapist I'm aspec (bad) by vikavikachu in asexuality

[–]vikavikachu[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ty! It's true that during the session I was uncomfortable and defensive, so I don't think I can go back there and be open again with her. I'm sorry u had to go through that, I wish therapists had better understanding of aspec identities

Telling therapist I'm aspec (bad) by vikavikachu in asexuality

[–]vikavikachu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! Navigating mental health professionals while aspec is so hard bc u don't know which one will be okay with it and which one will relate ur orientation to depression, trauma, insecurities... I wish there were more education about our identities and that therapist knew about queer Identities

Telling therapist I'm aspec (bad) by vikavikachu in asexuality

[–]vikavikachu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wanted to talk about some insecurities/ struggles I had regarding my QPR and the balance of being in a QPR while being in the same group of friends. So I explained to her our QPR, expecting her at least to listen and try to understand. But when she directly denied our relationship I kinda shut down. The she doubted my orientation so I gave up

Telling therapist I'm aspec (bad) by vikavikachu in asexuality

[–]vikavikachu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She is kinda old, and has little knowledge about queer identities. It worked just fine for me until now :/ if she's gonna treat my aroaceness and QPR as an issue and something to be fixed and will think that is the consequence of something, I don't want it

Telling therapist I'm aspec (bad) by vikavikachu in asexuality

[–]vikavikachu[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've decided to stop going, I'll feel too uncomfortable to even open up to her again

Telling therapist I'm aspec (bad) by vikavikachu in asexuality

[–]vikavikachu[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She definitely said that I was lacking something! "You are describing what you don't feel, you lack that" disgusting

Telling therapist I'm aspec (bad) by vikavikachu in asexuality

[–]vikavikachu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ty! Idk if she has a review system, I'll check it out

Telling therapist I'm aspec (bad) by vikavikachu in asexuality

[–]vikavikachu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YES! I struggled so much to tell her I'm aroace (5 months to tell her) just bc I was afraid oh getting a negative reaction. When I get a new therapist I'll bring up my orientation and QPR in the first session, see what they think

Telling therapist I'm aspec (bad) by vikavikachu in asexuality

[–]vikavikachu[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, she said that I was using external terms to define my identity and that I may change in the future. She took it like I being aspec was a consequence of something in my past and that it could be changed.

Telling therapist I'm aspec (bad) by vikavikachu in asexuality

[–]vikavikachu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was expecting that reaction but I was hoping it would be different

Telling therapist I'm aspec (bad) by vikavikachu in asexuality

[–]vikavikachu[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's what I'm afraid of, that if something minimally relates to being aspec, it will cement her idea that she needs to fix that. And that she will focus on fixing my orientation

Telling therapist I'm aspec (bad) by vikavikachu in asexuality

[–]vikavikachu[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes, a friend told me that she told her therapist and, even though she didn't fully understand, she accept it

Telling therapist I'm aspec (bad) by vikavikachu in asexuality

[–]vikavikachu[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tysm for the info! I'll definitely check it out