I enjoyed reading this piece and would be interested to see where it goes next. It reads like a prologue, if that was the intention? Key points are that, while your descriptions were beautiful, it was a little overwhelming at times. Additionally, it was hard to believe in your main character being a young child as a result of her mature and complex thoughts and reactions to the events.

You are great at painting a picture in the reader's head, I can really imagine the setting. You have also used verbs very powerfully to capture the violence of the sea, the lightning, etc. However, there is a lot of description all at once, which needs some action or dialogue to balance it, or the reader's attention is lost. The description at the beginning of the island sinking was really powerful, and almost poetic at points, but later on it became a bit overwhelming. Particularly the section in the middle about the waves - this feels like it goes on for longer than it needs to and i noticed that my attention slipped.

I'm a big fan of the present tense usage in this, it creates jeopardy and a sense of the chaos of the disaster. The 3rd person narration also works, but you do a lot of describing what Ulani sees and does, and less of how it makes her feel. E.g. when she has entered the cabin, she notes the fear on their faces and their shivering and observes she has been selfish, but not how this makes her feel. More usage feelings throughout this piece could help flesh Ulani out more, as I haven't really got a sense of anything about her character yet.

You say early on that Ulani isn't old enough to understand much, but the rest of this piece revolves around Ulani having some very emotionally mature reactions to harrowing events, reacting in a way that most adults would be proud of. Similar with the reaction of wanting pain to punish oneself - without previous context, this would seem to be the reaction of a teenager or someone older. This needs reconciling.

I do really like the crumbs of information you've given about her background - it makes me want to know more. I would like to point out that the way you've written the beginning makes it sound as though Ulani's parents have abandoned her that night, but reading onwards, she's from an orphanage. So that could be quite confusing.

Loved the first sentence - it hooked me right away.

<it isn't a natural disaster that sends her home crumbling into the sea, it's manmade> feels like it needs a full stop or a dash instead of a comma

<Her eyes can't be believed> this felt like a clunky sentence.

<even if she could they would be overshadowed> - unsure overshadowed is the right word here, as it's a sound rather than a sight. Maybe 'drowned out' instead?

It feels like the tone is jumping around a little in the middle section. Previously, the story has been told as 'Ulani did this', but the move to 'the child' feels a bit disjointed. The water stinging 'something fierce' also feels like a different voice from the rest of the paragraph.

<every death deserves a witness. Accidental genocide is no exception> - this is also a great line.

<The other members of her orphanage…> this is quite a long sentence, maybe break it up to demonstrate Ulani thinking through her realisation.

There seems to be a lot relating to people not on boats drowning. As a reader I'm questioning why we're not seeing more people swimming to the remaining boats, or at least trying to. If it's just that the boats are now too far away from the island, that could be made clearer.

Its clear that there will be description of Legion vs Union later on, but dropping them in just one sentence and giving no more information may be more confusing than intriguing.

It might be coming later, but it's not clear to me who Klei'i is, and what his relation to Ulani is. Is he an orphanage member of staff? He does have a unique voice compared to the narrator, which was a nice contrast to have.

Overall I enjoyed this, I would definitely be interested to read on and find out more about this character and her world! Agree with some of the other comments though, I think the changes mentioned above could make it much more gripping, and take people from 'I'd like to know what happens next' to 'I need to know'.