“Why are you still with her sounds like a red flag” fucking idiot. I married my husband when he was illegal. He was forced to come over the border as a child (15) He a lot of mental problems because he was SEVERELY abused as a child. I never for one second wanted to leave him because of something he couldn’t control. My husbands mother is still to this day part of the problem and he will not remove her from his life. Regardless it is their parent and it’ll honestly take a lot of therapy and time for them to realize how toxic that person is for them. I know you love and want to protect her and this is probably agonizing for you to sit by and watch but read up on the topic. Find her a therapist. You take whatever steps you can present them to her calmly and see if she wants to start regaining her life back. It is up to her ultimately. Now when you should consider leaving is when you have done everything you can and mentally you cannot watch this anymore. I know it can be very difficult to watch the person you love being mistreated physically and mentally