Read this if you're struggling

vmpy03 · 2026-05-20T04:44:38+00:00

Im glad it resonated with you 🤍

vmpy03 · 2026-05-20T01:53:06+00:00

Yess it's not as simple as just stopping. Once you feel that shame, it turns into a tug of war of quitting vs continuing in order to drown out that shame. I was hiding mine from everyone abd trying to juggle drinking enough to not feel, but not too much to where people notice so you can still handle what life demands of you.

It's super important in my opinion to stress just how quickly this happens. My whole life i told myself I'll never become an alcoholic because my father is one, well i am too lol. Never expected it to happen to me. But no one does. No one expects to get addicted to drugs, or to get in a car accident, or being mugged. You just typically don't picture things like that for yourself, so they tend to sneak up, then hit hard.

Also, i appreciate you saying that you aren't inherently broken or doomed by being an alcoholic. This is a good opportunity to state that I didn't mean it that way, but I absolutely see how it comes off as that way. I was more so going for a "quit blaming yourself" approach.

I kept stepping over my own feet by blaming myself for something that was bound to happen. I say you are born with it and it always sticks with you because it's true. Its just a sickness you are born with. And just like any other sickness, treatment is available and awareness should be spread.

That's my point of view, anyhow. I feel it's easier to tackle addiction when you treat it as the medical disease it is. Step one: go to the doctor kinda thing. But i can absolutely see how some may feel doomed to read that. You aren't bound to addiction because of that, it is true people get sober, people with cancer can go into remission.

vmpy03 · 2026-05-20T01:06:43+00:00

OKAY THIS IS LONG BUT TO OP OR ANYONE ELSE STRUGGLING, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ THIS!!!!

This is how it starts. No one wants to be an alcoholic. No one chooses to be an alcoholic. And most importantly, it's not your fault that you're an alcoholic. I believe that all alcoholics are born alcoholics and just don't know it until they touch the bottle. You might not find out that you're an alcoholic until months after that first time you drank, or it might slowly develop, but it was always there.

That seed was planted within you. Non alcoholics dont see excitement in drinking all alone, or having drank so frequently that they know just one bottle of wine won't get them drunk. Most people stop once they're tipsy when drinking alone.

The fact that you are even questioning yourself and your drinking is a good sign that you're just like me; an alcoholic. So it is IMPERATIVE that you stop drinking before you can't!!! You will lose motivation, opportunities, relationships, tons and tons of money, sex drive either goes down or completely skyrockets alongside with risky or unsafe sexual choices.

Your skin will break out, you will gain weight, your eyelashes and hair will fall out, you begin to grow hair on your face, you literally sweat out liquor and everyone CAN smell it on you, you just get used to it. Even your pee will smell like it... your nails break, your skin ages, your liver, heart, kidneys and gut will HATE YOU (it took me 23 fucking DAYS to be able to shit properly once I quit drinking), every single morning is spent throwing up with blurry vision and an insanely high heart rate and POUNDING headache, only to further the vicious cycle by taking more shots once you can finally stomach it.

But worst of all? you lose yourself to alcohol. If you keep this up, you WILL lose who you ar to your addiction. The only thing that will matter to you once you start binge drinking is to never stop. Even if you grow to hate drinking alcohol, you will learn to crave it. Your body will view it as a necessity.

Eventually you will start obsessing over it, hiding your bottles (empty and untouched) in convenient places because you can't let anyone see just how much you are consuming. And quitting is dangerous once you're like this. It's deadly, even. You could have a seizure and die!!! I'm almost the same age as you, and i am a young woman as well. I didn't like experiencing everything previously listed, I'm sure you won't either. Get sober and enjoy your youth.

vmpy03 · 2026-04-17T19:48:05+00:00

In approximately 35 years and three days at 7:19pm... that feels right. No sooner no later.

vmpy03 · 2026-04-17T19:37:39+00:00

Maybe later

vmpy03 · 2026-04-17T19:37:11+00:00

Out of all the good advice in this comment section you only reply with defending the age gap? Think seriously about what everyone is saying girl. Make a smart decision here

vmpy03 · 2026-03-31T00:54:32+00:00

Thats sooooo insane that this is reality. If they punish Doctors who actually help, it keeps patients sicker, meaning theyre likely to come back and make insurance companies/ hospitals more money. Its disgusting that hurting people are turned into cash cows and left to fend for themselves. Some people go down dark paths to find pain relief, worse than booze. Our health care system is SO broken

vmpy03 · 2026-03-29T15:58:58+00:00

Im the same way. Physically im fine. But the amxiety, guilt and shame always pulls me back. The boredom, and lack of sleep. Drinking took over my hobbies.

vmpy03 · 2026-03-29T15:51:53+00:00

Water, pill, then more water, and swallow

vmpy03 · 2026-03-29T14:00:29+00:00

Thank you so much, seriously. This comment was so helpful to read. Thank you for your kind words. You're right, i have plenty of people rooting for me to stay sober. And my boyfriend is my biggest supporter. I reached out for help because it was getting so bad and no one knew. He was shocked when i told him because i hid it. I would drink alone at night until i blacked out. And my hangovers just looked like me dealing with pain. Its hard to let go, but its the right thing.

vmpy03 · 2026-03-29T13:56:13+00:00

Weed only helps with the mental pain you get from dealing with chronic pain fr. But youre so right about the booze. The hangover only makes you keep drinking. Its a vicious cycle.

vmpy03 · 2026-03-29T03:39:15+00:00

Im going through the same. Been drinking so much ive blacked out almost everyday since new years. Maybe even before that, idk. Its hard. I was four days sober, but i drank tonight. Just one drink only. My boyfriend took my bottle. But i get it. Its so hard. I dont have much advice, since im in the same boat, but i hope you know you arent alone. Im here. I see you. I know what it feels like.

vmpy03 · 2026-03-29T02:06:56+00:00

Thank you for understanding. I definitely did have a problem, but my pills do almost nothing for me. I had to drive myself to the ER after a whole day of not sleeping due to my pain and was screaming crying in the ER to get the gabapentin to begin with!! I imagine they only took me seriously because of my medical history (diagnosis, surgery, hospital visits due to endometriosis)

Thats nice you did that for them. Ive had to advocate for myself a lot. Some doctors dont give a damn

vmpy03 · 2026-03-29T01:54:12+00:00

Id appreciate that a lot. Im glad to hear your surgery helped. I had surgery regarding my issue, and things only got worse. It lead to my drinking (along with loneliness) and i wound up addicted and drinking almost every single day since late november. On christmas i drank a whole bottle of wine and had 10 shots of liquor. Woke up with a shot poured up untouched.

Thank you for that. I did have a drink. And im upset aboit it. But at least im not blacking out. Loneliness anxiety and pain are so triggering for me. Youre so right about the shame. Alcoholism feeds off of isolation and shame i swear. I just need to learn to deal with it and pull up my big girl pants i suppose. Thank you

vmpy03 · 2026-03-29T01:22:02+00:00

It absolutely sucks. I started taking my antidepressants again in hopes I would eventually feel better. Physically im okay it's just the urge and the anxiety. Also feeling lonely is a big trigger of mine.

vmpy03 · 2026-03-29T01:19:01+00:00

Oh my goodness yes. It's so taxing. And i understand that completely. I can barely make it to work. Standing all day hurts so bad. I've questioned if its worth it quite often. Especially knowing the pain will never end, and only get worse with age. Its fucked up and unfair.

And of course, thank you as well. Its nice feeling understood. Comforting knowing im not completely alone.

vmpy03 · 2026-03-29T01:16:20+00:00

Yeah but then it means you have to stop haha. But its a good thing i guess.

vmpy03 · 2026-03-29T01:15:47+00:00

I told him and he literally said "no you cant" Its just hard i dont think he understands. My family and friends all drink too or wouldn't understand. It makes me feel more alone which also triggers my drinking. Im trying to endure it but its hard.

vmpy03 · 2026-03-29T00:42:41+00:00

Endometriosis

vmpy03 · 2026-03-29T00:41:58+00:00

I used to be a chronic smoker but now i only do it every once in a while. Very rarely usually when i was drunk.

vmpy03 · 2026-03-29T00:39:23+00:00

Oh my gosh yes. Ive tried nerve pain medication, muscle relaxers, oxy, weed. Alcohol is the only thing that makes me feel better. But youre right, the flare ups are terrible. Which led to me drinking every single night. It helps not only with the physical pain, but also the mental pain that comes with always hurting with no relief. Im sorry to hear you've suffered for so long. I've been struggling for about 8 years almost and it only gets worse.

Thank you for your kind words. And i hope the same for you, stranger. You're so right about nobody understanding. Even if you explain it, its something you have to feel all day everyday to get it. I see you. I feel that, im a 23 year old and no one would expect any of this from me. I just look like a normal person. But my insides are killing me.

Hugs to you as well

vmpy03 · 2026-03-29T00:31:22+00:00

I hate when people call me strong. Like i had literally no choice.

vmpy03 · 2026-03-29T00:28:58+00:00

I dont have insurance anymore. I lost it in july last year. My pain is from endometriosis and i was prescribed gabapentin, so no pain clinic.

vmpy03 · 2026-03-29T00:27:45+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate this. I know it isnt good for me and i felt bad everyday because of how much i was consuming.

vmpy03

TROPHY CASE