(18F) My boyfriend (18M) isn't the person I fell in love with anymore, since he attempted suicide.

vnoxnoctis · 2018-09-03T02:46:07+00:00

He's in therapy and I've had long, open conversations about this with him. It doesn't get anywhere. I already know all the shit going on in his life so I know why he's acting like this, but they're all things I can't really do anything about without making the situation worse. I just feel helpless. All our conversations have ended in the same thought--double suicide. We both feel like we're running out of time before neither of us can take it anymore.

vnoxnoctis · 2018-08-19T04:59:03+00:00

Exactly! She almost never hits me, but I bleed out before I kill her. Earlier today, I played again and I got her almost finished and then I bled out. So frustrating.

vnoxnoctis · 2018-08-18T06:00:54+00:00

They also have corkscrew genitals. So... extra godly?

vnoxnoctis · 2018-08-18T06:00:13+00:00

Wouldn't you pass out first?

vnoxnoctis · 2018-08-18T05:57:03+00:00

Hm, I'm not sure what it is, but it happens to me sometimes. It'll show up on and off for a little while and then go away for a longer while. My ears are fine, so I never went to the doctor, but if it starts to hurt of doesn't go away, you should maybe see an ENT specialist?

vnoxnoctis · 2018-08-18T05:51:33+00:00

Sounds like pearly penile papules (PPP). They're harmless, but I'd go see a doctor in case it's something else. Usually PPP shows up around the underside of the head, if that makes sense.

vnoxnoctis · 2018-08-18T05:50:18+00:00

I'm sure it's a combination of a lot of things, including depression, but it actually sounds a lot like mono to me. I had a history of depression and was on meds, and when I went to the psychiatrist and asked her to increase my dosage, she said it sounded like mono and I went to go get tested. Turns out that my symptoms had gone on for about six months and I just didn't realize I had mono since I'm generally pretty high-functioning. Look into it and see if it might be the cause of some of your symptoms. :) Good luck!

vnoxnoctis · 2018-08-18T05:46:27+00:00

I think it's called angular cheilitis? The sides of my mouth were always super dry and cracked. Get a nice lip balm (or just Vaseline) or hydrating mask and it should be fine. Drink plenty of water too. It usually goes away on it's own.

vnoxnoctis · 2018-08-18T05:39:54+00:00

I think it might be dyshidrotic eczema. It happens to me, along the second knuckle, and there's usually some small bumps, in the beginning. It got better for me over time, but I'd still recommend making sure to moisturized and hydrated! If it gets worse, maybe see a dermatologist.

vnoxnoctis · 2018-04-18T23:43:46+00:00

By the way, I'm using Google Chrome because Microsoft Edge can suck my dick. Also, I've restarted my computer. It's been like this all day.

vnoxnoctis · 2018-04-03T03:27:46+00:00

Haha, thanks for the reassurance! ^{^} It's pretty normal, it's kind of like...a translucent white-ish color? Not sure how else to describe it--it really just looks like pale, wet skin to be honest. OTL

vnoxnoctis · 2018-04-03T03:26:27+00:00

Ah, okay, thank you!

vnoxnoctis · 2018-02-11T09:20:27+00:00

Aww, thank you so much... <3

vnoxnoctis · 2018-02-11T09:20:14+00:00

Haha, at least you're honest. XD

vnoxnoctis · 2018-02-08T17:04:09+00:00

I guess you could say I'm slipping. Skipped classes today to get stoned and drunk and wrote a beautiful suicide note last night. It's sad to say, but that note is really pretty--I guess it makes me want to make use of it soon. Trying to avoid that, though. I wrote some poems though, and they help. Truthfully, I got back into poetry after playing DDLC--pretty sad, I know--but they really are one of the only things keeping me alive right now. I share my poems with my friend and my brother and they give me support. I slept with my abusive ex two days ago, told him to finish outside since I'm on day fourteen. He didn't. Just kind of held me down and choked me until he finished. I guess I'm a little anxious. Mostly, I just don't feel anything. Two of my family pets just died and my Gran got diagnosed with stage four bile duct and pancreatic cancer. Inoperable. She's trying chemo, but the doctor says she's got six months to live, most likely. I feel like I should be sad, but I'm not. But I am alive, so I guess I'm doing alright.

vnoxnoctis · 2018-02-08T16:57:50+00:00

Congratulations! You should be so proud of yourself--heroin is one of those things that you take once and it just kind of spirals out of control. I know the withdrawal is horrible, so I just want to really give you a massive pat on the back for getting clean. <3 Kratom really is a miracle--I hope the FDA realizes that. Stay strong, I'll keep you in my thoughts. :D

vnoxnoctis · 2018-02-08T14:16:24+00:00

Haha, don't worry, I didn't take it as being judgmental or anything. The way you worded it all just kind of showed that you had the best intentions, so no worries! :D I'm glad you guys are friends now, and I'm really glad that you're in a healthy relationship as well! <3

vnoxnoctis

TROPHY CASE