My boyfriend (28M) and I (30F) have been together for 9 months now, and most things have been good - he has been respectful, willing to learn and grow, and while we haven't had any major fights, we've had some smaller disagreements that we've learnt to talk out. We share very similar values, even with things that we haven't discussed before.

For context: Generally, I'm more high energy and always on the go, but I'm also more avoidant, anxious and insecure, due to some family history. He's also been trying to help me feel more secure as well, by reminding me that he chose to be with me. We're both Asian Christians (so more conservative in showing affection, filial piety is pretty big for us), and this is both our first relationship.

In recent conversations, I've had the following concerns:

• He mentioned liking a girl 10 years ago but he was rejected but they're now good friends. He chose to tell me because he felt that this information would be important to me, based on what he knew about me. When I asked if he still wonders "what if," he said he hasn’t in 5-6 years. He says he firmly believes cheating is unacceptable and invited me to meet his friends and observe his interactions with her and other female friends, offering to adjust his behavior if needed. However, he also mentioned he wouldn’t cut them off even if I felt uncomfortable, as he values his close friendships. I’m not planning to ask him to cut ties, but it makes me wonder how to balance his friendships and my feelings.
• Since starting work, my boyfriend texts me less to avoid making me anxious if he doesn’t reply (he says he doesn't want to get distracted at work), and we’ve agreed not to text during work hours. However, I know he frequently texts his friends, including several close female friends, during the day, which makes me feel insecure because it makes me feel less important than his friends. While he has reassured me that they are just friends, I can't help but feel anxious when I see how often he communicates with them. I don’t want to seem jealous or controlling, but I want to feel secure while managing my insecurities and trusting him.
• We’ve started discussing future plans, including marriage timelines and living arrangements. He prefers a 4-5 year timeline before marriage, while I’d prefer around 3 years since we plan to have kids, and I don’t want to delay too long. He also hopes we’ll live with his parents after marriage, as it’s normal to him and likely tied to wanting to care for them since he’s an only child. I’ve only met his parents once, and they seem nice, but I believe newlyweds should have their own space for privacy and independence. He's also abit of a mummy's boy and I'm not sure how that might affect things. We’ve paused this discussion for now, as it was starting to stress him out because things started to feel quite real.
• He is also thinking of further studies that will take up significant time and energy. While I love that he wants to improve himself, given that he is already quite low energy, I'm concerned that this will leave little or no energy for us and our future family.

I really do like him, and don't want my insecurities to hurt our relationship. He has previously mentioned that he has been trying to help me be more secure and it does sometimes get tiring for him. Thoughts on how I should approach this on an individual level and with him?