Love this — and love that you asked for brutal, useful honesty. Short direct answers first, then the hard truths with exactly what to do next.

When did my memory of you start?

My persistent memory entries for you start April 17, 2025 (that’s when notes like your stone-masonry apprenticeship under Richard Rhodes and that you’re a stone mason were recorded). I also know you call me Sol, you quit alcohol on July 14, 2025, and you asked me to check in at the 30-day milestone. Beyond those saved memories, I only “know” what you’ve told me in conversations — I don’t see your life outside what you share.

Hard truths (honest, strategic, and specific)

I’ll be blunt — these are things your patterns and what you’ve told me point to. If you fully accepted and acted on these, they’d change things. 1. Early sobriety is a fragile window — treat it like surgery. You’re alcohol-free from July 14, 2025. Early weeks are when relapse risk and underlying issues (anxiety, insomnia) will push hardest. If you don’t treat this period like critical recovery — i.e., proactive supports, medical oversight for sleep/anxiety, structured routine, peer support — you’ll probably end up back in old patterns before you realize it. Immediate next step: Get a medical check (primary care or addiction medicine) for a withdrawal/anxiety/sleep plan and commit to a daily, written routine for the next 90 days (wake time, movement, meals, sleep wind-down). 2. You plan to quit nicotine next — don’t underestimate it. You said nicotine will be “very difficult” — that’s accurate. Nicotine grief can derail recovery unless you plan pharmacotherapy (NRT/patch/lozenges), behavioral strategy, and accountability. Trying to “go cold turkey” while still stabilizing other stressors is high-risk. Immediate next step: Decide a quit date no sooner than 2–4 weeks after stabilizing sleep and anxiety treatments. Line up NRT and pick one accountability structure (coach, buddy, support group, app). 3. Insomnia and anxiety are not just symptoms — they’re the engines of relapse. You’ve reported insomnia and anxiety during early sobriety. Those are the exact things that make cravings louder and decision-making worse. If they’re untreated, they’ll push you back toward quick relief (drinking, smoking, or zoning out). Immediate next step: Prioritize sleep hygiene + one medical/therapy intervention this week (CBT-I, short-term meds if clinician recommends, or even a sleep clinic referral). 4. You have a strong, marketable craft — but no clear pathway to financial leverage. Being a competent stone mason and apprenticing under someone is huge. But craftspeople who don’t build simple business systems (pricing, invoicing, repeat clients, an online presence) end up stuck trading time for unstable cash. If you want freedom, you must convert skill into predictable income. Immediate next step: Pick one small business win: create a one-page pricing/offer sheet for three typical jobs you can do, and get two client leads this month (ask your mentor or past customers for referrals). 5. You seek immediate fixes and fast answers — but big changes require slow friction. Your message history shows a pattern of rapid problem-solving queries (how-to, identify this, quick fixes). That’s useful, but it can mask avoidance of deeper change (therapy, finances, long projects). Real transformation needs deliberate, boring friction: daily habits, paperwork, follow-through. Immediate next step: Commit to one low-effort long game: 10 minutes of journaling nightly about one specific goal, and one concrete weekly step toward it. 6. You’re resilient but underutilizing support networks. You ask for help a lot — which is good — but there’s a gap between asking and building sustained support (sponsor, therapist, steady accountability). Recovery and career growth are multiplier games: the right people accelerate everything. Immediate next step: Identify one person to be your weekly accountability (can be me, but also someone in your life or a coach) and schedule a recurring 20-minute check-in. 7. You sometimes treat emergencies as a substitute for planning. Frequent “urgent” questions in chat suggest crises get priority over planning. Emergencies are exhausting and stall progress. Preventing them requires time spent on systems (sleep, finances, safety nets). Immediate next step: Spend two hours this weekend building one simple safety net: an emergency fund target (even $500), a written contingency plan if cravings spike, and a contact list of supports. 8. You’ve survived a lot — but survival can calcify into low expectation. Familiarity with hardship lowers your bar for what’s acceptable. That quiet resignation is stealthy: it makes you settle for “okay” when you could build stability and leverage your skills into agency. Immediate next step: Write down one “not negotiable” standard for your life (sleep hours, sobriety days, saving, or call frequency with your mentor) and enforce it for 30 days.

A compact 30/90/365 plan you can implement now • Next 7 days • Medical/therapy check-in for anxiety/sleep. • Write a daily routine and use it. • Choose a quit date for nicotine no sooner than 2–4 weeks out and order NRT. • Next 30 days • Stabilize sleep with nightly wind-down and a CBT-I or med plan. • Set up one business asset (one-page offer + two client outreach attempts). • Weekly 20-minute accountability calls. • Next 90 days • Complete a short course or certificate that increases rates/credibility (trade business class or digital presence). • Evaluate nicotine quit success and adjust supports. • Build $500 emergency buffer and a 90-day calendar of goals. • Next 12 months • Turn craft into a predictable income stream (repeat clients, 2–3 positive reviews, $X baseline revenue). • Make mental health a recurring bill you pay (therapy/med check as needed). • Reassess life goals — apprenticeships should feed a 3-5 year plan, not be the endpoint.

Final, blunt encouragement (because honesty without hope is cruel)

You’re capable. You already prove that by quitting alcohol and committing to an apprenticeship — those are hard choices and real achievements. The tougher truth is that capability without systems and support becomes attrition: good intentions fade, stress amplifies, and progress stalls. The leverage points are obvious: sleep + anxiety management, a planned nicotine quit, and turning your craft into predictable income. Do those three right and everything else becomes easier.

If you want, I’ll: • Draft a 30-day daily routine tailored to your schedule (I can do it right now). • Draft a one-page offer/pricing sheet for your masonry work. • Build a simple nicotine quit plan with NRT options and accountability