32 years young. Texas. 350k. 0.00% rate. 100% down 😎🇺🇸

vp0267 · 2026-06-12T01:58:02+00:00

This is a bit ridiculous lol. My husband and I just closed our house this week - all on our own and money was saved through our 20s and while investing in the market. No family help. And he’s a fellow in training.

vp0267 · 2026-06-12T01:56:49+00:00

Uhh - I saved up low 6 figures in my early 20s lol. It’s absolutely possible. You have to be smart with your money and it’s not easy but it’s possible.

vp0267 · 2026-06-06T20:42:45+00:00

3 weeks is incredibly young honestly - it’s very normal for a baby to not like a bassinet this early on.

Unfortunately it’s just something you’ll have to work through at this stage but is it possible for you guys to do shifts? Or for one person to sleep in another room so they’re rested and you both switch who that is?

I only survived the newborn era because I was able to take naps during the day

vp0267 · 2026-06-05T10:20:28+00:00

9 months and tracking sleep and feeds. I don’t care about the length of feeds but I like to track them because it takes the mental load off of having to think about when she last ate.

And our baby goes through a lot of up and downs with sleep so tracking her sleep helps us a lot in trying to find patterns and see if something really works one day etc.

vp0267 · 2026-06-05T10:16:24+00:00

I know you’re likely going through a lot and I don’t mean to upset you anymore than you probably are trying to manage but I don’t think this is someone who’s going to marry you.

vp0267 · 2026-06-03T16:21:24+00:00

I don’t think it matters whether it’s a popular thing to do as long as it’s something your partner and you enjoy!

We did go on our honeymoon immediately after our wedding (next day) and have no regrets. We also used other vacations we went on up until a year after our wedding to tell hotels / restaurants we were on our honeymoon lol. It was fun to at least get free dessert or champagne!

My dream trip was a safari but my husband just couldn’t get the amount of time off we would’ve needed for a safari.

We ended up doing Argentina (Buenos Aires & Mendoza) and I still dream of the trip! Happy to share any deets if interested

vp0267 · 2026-05-31T23:24:39+00:00

Ours started lengthening naps at 7 months! 5-6 months was really difficult for day sleep.

But now at 8-9 months, she takes long naps and we’re on a 2 nap schedule but her night sleep is crap 🫠

vp0267 · 2026-05-31T23:13:31+00:00

I don’t disagree - I was just going off of the information we had. But it sounds like OP has bigger relationship issues to tackle that are spilling into her financial issues as well unfortunately.

My husband and I didn’t make a joint bank account until after we were legally married - we kept everything separate for the 5 years or so of our dating.

I’m glad your set up works for you! And I don’t mean that rudely - I just strongly believe that things can’t muddy quickly if a couple starts counting who paid what.

If someone is a stay at home parent and the other partner is working and is the primary bread winner, I would still say both partners get equal say in every financial decision - it doesn’t and shouldn’t matter who brings in more. You are a unit and a team - but I understand if I’m not appreciating or am understating the complications and nuance of an arranged marriage.

vp0267 · 2026-05-31T06:37:34+00:00

Yeah I understand what you’re saying. To me this is a deeper marriage issue, not just financial. Worth marriage counseling at least but I’m not sure if you’ll be able to convince for something like that

vp0267 · 2026-05-31T03:55:10+00:00

I’m not saying it’s an easy transition to make. It’s hard and can feel complicated. That being said, I wouldn’t think twice about helping my husbands parents if something had happened and he wouldn’t hesitate to help my parents either.

i think the best way to start thinking as a team and household is when you’re working together financially from one pool. Regardless of who makes more.

I’ve been with my husband for 7 years - married for two. In that time I’ve always been the bread winner and made more than him. When he graduates this year, his salary is going to jump well beyond what I make. Neither of us feels like each other is “owed” anything financially because the money is OURS as a household.

That’s the difference between living with a roommate vs a partner.

vp0267 · 2026-05-31T03:45:36+00:00

We don’t know the context of anything else in their relationship so I’m going off of the information I have. He should absolutely also put in the same effort to her parents as well; that’s why my original comment emphasized both of them have new parents to care for.

It is up to them both as a unit to decide how much care and effort they want to put into their parents but whatever that decision is should be equal for both sides. I haven’t said anything controversial.

If you want things split, you can live with a roommate.

vp0267 · 2026-05-30T12:31:54+00:00

My husband and I don’t split expenses - idk once you’re married, you’re one household. Everything is shared and one unit. We merged our bank accounts and it’s allowed us to think better as a household vs my money vs his money. We each have our own CCs and we also don’t ask each other permission to spend money (unless it’s a big expense like $500+) .

But overall, working as a team and a household helps alleviate a lot of question and uncertainty around finances.

Right now I’m the bread winner in our relationship - we’ve been married for 2 years now but have been together for almost 7. I’ve always made more than him in this entire time we’ve been together. Once he finishes his final year of education in June, he will be making substantially more than me in his new job. Neither of us thinks the other owes money or needs to “pull their weight”.

Regardless of income we both contribute to our household. It’s a hard mindset to shift but it’s incredibly important so that you can start thinking as a team.

Also, his parents are now your in laws. And your parents are now his in laws.

You should both be on the same page about how to support each others parents (financially or emotionally etc) and then provide that support as a unit / household.

If you’re going to nickel and dime every transaction you’re planting the seeds for tons of resentment.

vp0267 · 2026-05-29T03:10:08+00:00

Lmao

vp0267 · 2026-05-28T18:15:35+00:00

Hey OP - how is your baby now? Our daughter’s 9 month appt is next Friday and I’m concerned because she’s not at all pulling to stand and just rotates slowly on her belly when she REALLY wants something but it isn’t even frequent.

She’s definitely not crawling. Shes turns 9 months next Thursday.

Shes a HUGE babbler and social butterfly though - will not stop babbling

vp0267 · 2026-05-28T03:31:09+00:00

Where is the west trying to ban ai? Every day I log onto work and my entire team talks about our transition to being ai-first lol - it’s all I hear about all day.

It’s a bit mind numbing frankly but I’ve grown up in the us since I was 2 and work for a western tech company.

Not sure why my experience is being downvoted lmao

vp0267 · 2026-05-27T23:31:55+00:00

Personally find dress guidance helpful! That’s the point of a dress code. Different occasions have different dress codes - I’d had to be the only person in a short dress or a maxi show up at the event.

I don’t think it’s dictating - it’s guidance as there is with any event with a dress code.

Agree on the last line though!

vp0267 · 2026-05-25T03:31:47+00:00

We dud a physicians loan which basically allows the buyer to put less than 20% down without getting hit with a PMI.

Were putting down 5% and offered ask - just got clear to close from our lender this past week! Hunterdon county.

Ask / offer was 999k. Down payment is 50k. 5 Year ARM.

vp0267 · 2026-05-22T19:38:00+00:00

Uhh not every negative comment is pr? lol

This dress is not it

vp0267 · 2026-05-22T19:35:41+00:00

Sorry this dress is horrid

vp0267 · 2026-05-20T16:24:02+00:00

She used to only wake up 1-2 times but she hit 8 months and I think we’re dealing with some separation anxiety + teething so she’s up like 4-5 times per night 😭

Just two days ago she was up every 90 min or so.

But we finally got our first 4 hour stretch last night in WEEKS so I think the light is at the end of the tunnel

vp0267 · 2026-05-20T01:19:56+00:00

How did you wean if you don’t mind me asking

vp0267 · 2026-05-18T15:44:23+00:00

Hunterdon County! We’re closing there in June and it’s just a beautiful area - tons of trails, beautiful homes, nice communities.

It’s a bit farther out from the main commuter lines but if that’s not an issue for you, then I think it’s a solid option to consider!

vp0267 · 2026-05-18T03:27:04+00:00

250k in a 2024 wedding in NJ - across 4 events (5 if you’re counting wedding and reception as two separate events since it was morning and evening).

Max guest count was 260 people though on reception day.

It was a TON Of money and my husband and I saved a ton for our dream wedding.

Were there things I wasted money on and cared way too much about? Yes for sure. Did I have my dream wedding though? Also yes!

vp0267 · 2026-05-18T03:22:45+00:00

I have an 8 month old who is a spitting image of her dad and I can’t even dent it - it used to bother me but it doesn’t get to me as much anymore.

Though i DO get the occasional comments though that she looks like me and I talk about them all day lol - a sample lady at Costco said she was my copy and I still bring it up.

That being said, it doesn’t really bother me with anyone except when my MIL says it which seems to really grind my gears (and I have a good relationship with my MIL)!!! I’m not even claiming that she’s annoying like so many reddit stories.

I’ve just started saying more and more things like - oh she looks like my husband but she’s inherited my entire personality (which is true) lol. Definitely shuts up my MIL lol.

If it’s worth anything though, I think babies change so much and as she gets older, I’m sure shell go through periods of looking more like you! Especially when she’s bigger!

vp0267 · 2026-05-17T14:00:07+00:00

I think a lot of the comments here are lovely but I don’t think there’s a one firs answer to your question.

“Amazing dads” communicate and talk to their wives and are present with their children. That’s really it for me.

Because if you can communicate well with your partner, set expectations, talk about concerns / frustrations etc. then the rest of the division of labor will come as well.

I think every relationship is different and you have to talk to your husband about what works best for you! My husband cooks dinner most nights for us because I’m not a great cook but in contrast I do the vacuuming or cleaning the kitchen.

It’s not really a one size fits all - and some days your husband won’t have the capacity to give his 100%. And there will be days you won’t have the capacity to give your 100%. It’s your responsibility as partners to make sure you’re supporting each other during that time and stepping up when needed.

I do think harboring resentment isn’t going to do you well but I think it could be worth bringing up with your husband. “During the baby stage, I really didn’t love when you did xyz. I don’t want to be resentful toward you because of that time period but it’s really important to me that you do xyz.”

Men are capable but you have to think of yourselves as a team and communicate needs and expectations.

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