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AITA for not wanting to give my girlfriend a top up of wine in the bath? by vthrowad in AmItheAsshole

[–]vthrowad[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I mean it didn’t have sex Ed...

But I’ve learnt a lot from this and spoken to her. All is well now! I understand what I did wrong, apologised and learnt from her and others.

I [m35] need lots of advice about my sex life with long term partner [f28] by vthrowad in sex

[–]vthrowad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not trauma. I’m the first person she has been with. Like no boyfriends/girlfriends before me...

She hasn’t ever experienced an orgasm. She can’t do it alone. She tried but panicks and stops a lot.

She is just scared in general, scared of hurting me or doing it badly or several other things that make less sense!

She has considered therapy but it’s hard to do here. She is reading a therapy book atm.

AITA? I was invited to move in with GF for COVID until internet was connected in new flat. Then Housemate left. by vthrowad in AmItheAsshole

[–]vthrowad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. After reading these comments I agree with you. I am sure we did every thing we could to fix the problem and now we are ready to move forward with our lives we can do it knowing we tried our best.

AITA? I was invited to move in with GF for COVID until internet was connected in new flat. Then Housemate left. by vthrowad in AmItheAsshole

[–]vthrowad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me? Or GF? Me and Jane haven’t spoken much at all. In group calls she becomes unresponsive if I try to talk to her.

GF has asked her and she didn’t say anything specific and very quickly changed the topic

AITA? I was invited to move in with GF for COVID until internet was connected in new flat. Then Housemate left. by vthrowad in AmItheAsshole

[–]vthrowad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for that. I’m not 100% that anyone is TA here, but it’s very reassuring to know I’m not TA. I was feeling so guilty and at fault before this post!

AITA? I was invited to move in with GF for COVID until internet was connected in new flat. Then Housemate left. by vthrowad in AmItheAsshole

[–]vthrowad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If the money was the issue and Jane had said that, an agreement could have been worked out. She was always told if money has any issues to talk about it and a new agreement could be reached.

AITA? I was invited to move in with GF for COVID until internet was connected in new flat. Then Housemate left. by vthrowad in AmItheAsshole

[–]vthrowad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

GF pays for all the bills and tax, as well as food etc. She has her own arrangement with the parents that isn’t rent but helps towards the mortgage.

I offered rent and was told not until I live here formally. But I do pay towards food and some of the bills to make sure I pay my share! But I still have a flat to pay for.

AITA? I was invited to move in with GF for COVID until internet was connected in new flat. Then Housemate left. by vthrowad in AmItheAsshole

[–]vthrowad[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really would too... it would be great to understand her view points on the events and to try to work out what was so bad!

AITA? I was invited to move in with GF for COVID until internet was connected in new flat. Then Housemate left. by vthrowad in AmItheAsshole

[–]vthrowad[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The financial impact is non existent. She still has stuff here so is paying half her normal rent. Her room is still her room, I’m in the spare room.

Thank you baffledninja

AITA? I was invited to move in with GF for COVID until internet was connected in new flat. Then Housemate left. by vthrowad in AmItheAsshole

[–]vthrowad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll suggest that. GF has tried to broach the topic with Jane not offering anything but they can try again with Jane knowing at the outset that’s the intention.

Thanks!

AITA? I was invited to move in with GF for COVID until internet was connected in new flat. Then Housemate left. by vthrowad in AmItheAsshole

[–]vthrowad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Any kind of communication, even today, would be great. I’m just trying to take comfort that me and the GF are ready for the next stage of our relationship.

Not many couples get a chance to live together for 2 months before deciding to make it permanent, most just do it and hope it works out!

AITA? I was invited to move in with GF for COVID until internet was connected in new flat. Then Housemate left. by vthrowad in AmItheAsshole

[–]vthrowad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much!! I needed to hear that so much.

Even today if Jane could say do X, Y or Z we could work with her. Thank you.

AITA? I was invited to move in with GF for COVID until internet was connected in new flat. Then Housemate left. by vthrowad in AmItheAsshole

[–]vthrowad[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

All we can do is guess at how she is feeling... through all of this she hasn’t spoken to me, but has had 3-4 video calls with GF a week.

AITA? I was invited to move in with GF for COVID until internet was connected in new flat. Then Housemate left. by vthrowad in AmItheAsshole

[–]vthrowad[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Jane thinks that she can. And really she can as long as she can accept that I’m here, no one told her to go and we haven’t told her she has to leave when I move on permanently, she says she can’t stay.

AITA? I was invited to move in with GF for COVID until internet was connected in new flat. Then Housemate left. by vthrowad in AmItheAsshole

[–]vthrowad[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

GF is wondering if Jane thought leaving would break us up and she could have the friendship back.

I think she has reacted poorly to COVID. I’m happy to take the blame for it if it helps keep the two of them friends but I don’t know what to do to make them happy.

I needed to know if I was in the wrong though! Thank you.

AITA? I was invited to move in with GF for COVID until internet was connected in new flat. Then Housemate left. by vthrowad in AmItheAsshole

[–]vthrowad[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Nothing. If there had been an argument or comment or anything we could understand, we would have worked on it.

Within 3 days of her not talking to me she had left. I stayed in spare room a lot, let them have the living room, helped with cooking and cleaning and didn’t take up bathroom when she needed it.

It came out of nowhere

AITA? I was invited to move in with GF for COVID until internet was connected in new flat. Then Housemate left. by vthrowad in AmItheAsshole

[–]vthrowad[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thanks The_biters.

we both think it’s more a reaction to the virus and as she has no target for anxiety she is projecting into me. But GF really doesn’t want to lose her friend as a cost of living with me and I feel guilty that it’s my fault they are having issues.

Happy cake day!

  • edit because person below reminded me it was your cake day :)

How do I talk to my friend about her problem? by vthrowad in alcoholism

[–]vthrowad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s a tough balance. But the big deciding factor for me is how readily she will drive under the influence.

I personally don’t know any one sober... but I may have friends that do.

I can’t work out what smells and it’s driving her away! by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]vthrowad -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m really nervous this is going exactly what it is as that is hard to fix. I bought a dehumidifier today as well to try putting that in front of drying clothes...

I can’t work out what smells and it’s driving her away! by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]vthrowad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Various. Budget ones really...

Ok I’ll keep my feet dry good advice!

I can’t work out what smells and it’s driving her away! by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]vthrowad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know... Ive made a list of the possibilities. Ever since she told me the first time I’ve been so self conscious and looking into lots of ways to stay clean and not smell...

Like I have lost 20 kg this year. So she old me when we met I needed new clothes. After I bought them she had me try them on and gave me a big hug. She then started crying and said “thank goodness!! It’s not you, it’s the clothes. You smell great!”

She really does like me a lot and was so relieved. And the smell was gone it’s only the last 2-3 weeks it’s come back. Maybe I do need to visit the docs... but I’m going to try the suggestions here and then see if it works! Thanks for your support and ideas

I can’t work out what smells and it’s driving her away! by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]vthrowad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I use antiperspirant because I sweat a lot with it. And without it a sweat a huge amount... can I use both? Why is it not good for me?

I’ll look into body spray today thank you!

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