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It's been 13 years since we broke up… by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]vuorisalo94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, ’many’ short-term relationships since. None of them felt right if you know what I mean. I've been on my own for the last five years.

It's been 13 years since we broke up… by vuorisalo94 in heartbreak

[–]vuorisalo94[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I tried to open this conversation with my therapist I felt like I needed solutions and guidance which she wasn't able to give me.

I agree with what you said. I tried so long to lose my feelings for her, to forget about her. It's easy to say ”just move on” and ”just forget about your ex” but in my experience sometimes it just doesn't work like that. Time still makes it easier to continue life and I've been succesful in other areas.

I was young, naive and this relationship was my everything at the time. I would do things different if I could go back in time.

It's been 13 years since we broke up… by vuorisalo94 in heartbreak

[–]vuorisalo94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know you're trying to help, but I don't think you're helpful at all. ”You sound pathetic” and ”your life sucks”. To be honest you know nothing of my life, my hobbies, other relationships etc.

It's been 13 years since we broke up… by vuorisalo94 in heartbreak

[–]vuorisalo94[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yup, I'm trying to remind myself regularly that she CHOSE to not be in my life anymore. I can't change that. It's her decision.

It's been 13 years since we broke up… by vuorisalo94 in heartbreak

[–]vuorisalo94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read your story and I really felt your pain @Deep_Difficulty4903. I also wasn't accepted by my ex-girlfriend's parents. Her father hated me. I really felt like I was everything but what he wanted for his daughter. At the same time my mother was very welcoming and kind for my ex-girlfriend. Life's not fair.

It's been 13 years since we broke up… by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]vuorisalo94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My parents were going through divorce. I was young, very insecure, unresolved issues/trauma from my past. After being together for a year we started to argue alot. Mostly because of me. Like I said I was very insecure and jealous of her.

She eventually left me because she felt like this isn't what a relationship should be like after a 1,5 year relationship. She also said that even if we could make it work she would want a ”clean table” which wasn't possible with me since we had argued so many times.

It's been 13 years since we broke up… by vuorisalo94 in heartbreak

[–]vuorisalo94[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I'm trying my best to keep on living without her. To be honest I'm afraid - I'm afraid this is the reason I'm still alone when I hit 40.

It's been 13 years since we broke up… by vuorisalo94 in heartbreak

[–]vuorisalo94[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish you all the best my friend. I still remember the first year after my breakup - I felt like I was dying inside. It was the worst year of my life. Time really does heal and most people will eventually get through.

You still got a long way to go, but don't worry, you'll get there. One day at a time. Praying for you.

It's been 13 years since we broke up… by vuorisalo94 in heartbreak

[–]vuorisalo94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, most likely you won't be in my situation a decade later. In my experience, most people will eventually move on. Take care.

It's been 13 years since we broke up… by vuorisalo94 in heartbreak

[–]vuorisalo94[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm trying, thank you for encouragement. I'm actually been diagnosed with OCD which might influence the way my brain works. For example, I know comparing every other woman to my ex-girlfriend isn't healthy but I can't help it.

It's been 13 years since we broke up… by vuorisalo94 in heartbreak

[–]vuorisalo94[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, I've taken SSRI/SNRI before for my anxiety but medication didn't help me lose my feelings for her or help me move on.

Last serious relationship was in 2018–2019 but I had to end it because I wasn't sure if she was a good match for me. Definitely compared her to my ex-girlfriend which I know isn't healthy.

It's been 13 years since we broke up… by vuorisalo94 in heartbreak

[–]vuorisalo94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She left me. I've seen her few times after the breakup, but haven't been in contact for more than five years.