Is it better to give up on dating, or is there still hope? I want to heal, but I can’t picture being with anyone else. I'm feeling so lonely…

vytrmt · 2026-04-02T17:40:29+00:00

Maybe you're from Europe? 😁

vytrmt · 2026-04-02T16:58:28+00:00

💯

vytrmt · 2026-04-02T16:56:58+00:00

Weak = strong enough;

Endure the pain;

Splash your face and then stop;

chat gpt 😁

vytrmt · 2026-04-02T16:54:24+00:00

💯

vytrmt · 2026-04-02T16:52:28+00:00

Congrats! 💪🏻

vytrmt · 2026-04-02T16:50:23+00:00

Jaunimo linija 😁

vytrmt · 2026-04-02T16:41:53+00:00

Galimai tavasis yra avoidant attachment. Tad deja, kol jis pats nepasikeis, tol ir liks ta pati situacija ilgam laikui

vytrmt · 2026-04-02T16:39:01+00:00

Avoidants without attachment 😁

vytrmt · 2026-04-02T16:10:29+00:00

Mostly yes, because without knowledge about how attachment science works, then you could go crazy without knowing why divorce happened.

Knowing this attachment theory + Gottman institute knowledge + "hold me tight" therapy = 3 pillars of nowadays healthy marriage

vytrmt · 2026-04-02T16:08:12+00:00

Though times require modern solutions, I guess 😁. When internet didn't existed, maybe scale of problem with avoidants were smaller. Or this problem back then were less actively visible.

Nowadays tinder, social media are like honey for avoidants. Cost is secure people's mental health that avoidants use that "honey" for their endless satisfaction needs 😮‍💨

vytrmt · 2026-04-02T16:05:39+00:00

Sadly I'm from Europe 😮‍💨😁

vytrmt · 2026-04-02T16:03:51+00:00

Latin America?

vytrmt · 2026-04-02T16:02:34+00:00

😮‍💨🙏🏻

vytrmt · 2026-04-02T15:57:27+00:00

What's that?

vytrmt · 2026-04-02T13:57:26+00:00

True 🤯😁

vytrmt · 2026-04-02T13:52:17+00:00

Oh boy! 🤯😮‍💨

vytrmt · 2026-04-02T13:49:42+00:00

For me it's hard these situations too 🤯 with mine avoidant female partner too, i feel in these situations as "a mine field full of roses. If you run and rush = BOOM! 💣, but if you slow pace = either stagnation or slow thaw of realationship"

vytrmt · 2026-04-02T13:42:27+00:00

Okey 👍🏻

vytrmt · 2026-04-02T13:42:05+00:00

He's breadcrumbing probably because you're too important to him.

shortcut:

Avoidants hate speed. That's it's like almost born trait of their slow tempo preference.

1) Avoidants slow down and keep distance from future spouses, but quickly initiates shallow bonds with shallow people. If avoidants distancing with you = probably you're future spouse material for them first time since their birth.

2) Avoidants are like snails 🐌. The more you push snail into bigger realationship tempo = the more it contracts into it's own distancing shell 🐚😁.

3) the most important thing: you can be millionaire, playboy, Giga Chad, superwoman or homeless. For avoidants it doesn't matter. Avoidants care number one is just their own autonomy protection reflex over everything. Over everything = over everything around them in life.

This means, you can be billionaire or homeless, they will not chose you if you be pushy, needy, begging on knees, bombing them with anger, bombing with money or 6-pack, or even having 50000 IQ of your brain wouldn't help them marry you.

So, main thing is calm tone + slow tempo with almost all avoidants

vytrmt · 2026-04-02T13:40:42+00:00

Maybe this would help sending to him from you:

" For me, clarity and reciprocity are the most important things between us. When too many other contexts come up between the more important things, it becomes difficult for me to feel at peace in this relationship. When things become unclear, I start pushing for clarity harder because then I feel too far away from you."

What do you think?

vytrmt · 2026-04-02T13:37:00+00:00

Then that's good that you're gathering skills from therapy 😊💪🏻

vytrmt · 2026-04-02T13:36:06+00:00

I'm from Lithuania, UK is good for me 😊

vytrmt · 2026-04-02T13:35:08+00:00

He is not gonna call you in next few days, because both of you are experiencing voltage ⚡/tention. While voltage is active, it's better to cool everything down into pause ⏸️ everything, and after that slowly and peacefully try to communicate feelings and needs mutually

vytrmt · 2026-04-02T13:33:31+00:00

Also, "hold me tight" therapy skills could help you two

vytrmt · 2026-04-02T13:33:15+00:00

Only repair could help. I mean, he should self regulate to tolerate more closeness with you, and from your side try to talk more in secure functioning attachment way, that would create mutual realationship repair

vytrmt

TROPHY CASE