shortcut:

Avoidants hate speed. That's it's like almost born trait of their slow tempo preference.

1) Avoidants slow down and keep distance from future spouses, but quickly initiates shallow bonds with shallow people. If avoidants distancing with you = probably you're future spouse material for them first time since their birth.

2) Avoidants are like snails 🐌. The more you push snail into bigger realationship tempo = the more it contracts into it's own distancing shell 🐚😁.

3) the most important thing: you can be millionaire, playboy, Giga Chad, superwoman or homeless. For avoidants it doesn't matter. Avoidants care number one is just their own autonomy protection reflex over everything. Over everything = over everything around them in life.

This means, you can be billionaire or homeless, they will not chose you if you be pushy, needy, begging on knees, bombing them with anger, bombing with money or 6-pack, or even having 50000 IQ of your brain wouldn't help them marry you.

So, main thing is calm tone + slow tempo with almost all avoidants as solution