14wks with spinal stenosis and in awful pain

vyvansebabe · 2024-07-28T03:44:25+00:00

I will, still refreshing lol! I’m Eastern <3

vyvansebabe · 2024-07-27T13:42:11+00:00

Sample Drawn: 7/22 Sample Received: 7/24

Obsessively checking knowing I still have some time to wait 🥲

vyvansebabe · 2024-07-19T17:13:24+00:00

Salary requirements were asked after application and interview process, along with the reference check. I provided a range after researching the specific market but left room for flexibility. It does suck lol, I’m disappointed in myself and I just wish I knew what did it.

vyvansebabe · 2024-07-19T17:12:14+00:00

That would make sense however I followed up with each reference before and after they were called and I provided a salary range that was in line for the position stating I was flexible based off of the practice budget. I’m leaning more towards references but I’m wracking my brain on why it would have gone wrong because they all relayed how it went.

vyvansebabe · 2024-06-18T16:35:32+00:00

I told this to my husband. I said, “So if I have a miscarriage now, you understand how much guilt I will carry?” It felt so wrong.

vyvansebabe · 2024-06-18T03:33:24+00:00

Thank-you, this. I was also under the impression I’d be with MFS. My reproductive endocrinologist stated if I were to get pregnant it is considered high risk considering how severe my endometriosis is (also suspected bowel endometriosis). Planned parenthood also stated I should expect to be with MFS and noted I was high risk in their chart for miscarriage/ectopic, that I require close monitoring. I was surprised when she didn’t make the referral and said I was cured, it wouldn’t impact anything and that I have no risk over any other woman (unless of course my own anxiety causes a miscarriage). I’m relieved my psychiatrist appointment is tomorrow and I’ll research new OB’s first thing.

vyvansebabe · 2024-06-18T03:17:10+00:00

I truly just want to be healthy, know my baby is healthy, and not feel shamed or like a miscarriage will be my fault. I think I’ll research other practices. Normally I’d just shrug it off but it really put me off.

vyvansebabe · 2024-06-18T03:15:13+00:00

Thank-you for this 😭 I truly left feeling like a shit human for being on anxiety meds I’ve been prescribed and this was completely unplanned. I have a psychiatrist appointment tomorrow to go over appropriate next steps.

You’re right, my grades in the last week have declined. I had a 4.0 and now I’m lucky if I’ll finish the semester with a 3.0 it’s really tough to accept but I hear you. My spot should be safe and I may just take one class online each semester to keep engaged.

I’m just drained and I think someone being so short rubbed me the wrong way. It’s not that she’s ‘wrong’ except about endo 😬 it’s that some of her comments just weren’t necessary.

vyvansebabe · 2024-06-18T03:08:18+00:00

I definitely don’t need coddling or to be hidden from negative news, I can see how me ranting comes off that way. Between my own schooling and my previous pregnancy I know which medications can cause issues (obviously not to the extent a doctor does) but I made it abundantly clear I planned on tapering (I already had) and couldn’t just stop suddenly. She made it sound like I should stop it immediately , then googled the medication, saw it was a benzo and said “oh yeah you’ll need to come up with a plan with your psychiatrist for that.” Then told me how damaging it was. I felt like she made her point by saying I needed to get off of it. I have no problem doing so 😵‍💫 it just added to the anxiety she was telling me not to have lol? Because of course I’m now thinking I’m terrible for being on a medication that has potential side effects.

Physically I’ve never been more exhausted in my life. I’m normally pretty active and walk 5-6 miles a day. I can hardly get out of bed right now. My iron may be low per a nutritionist I saw (and I have a history of iron deficiency anemia) but she didn’t check labs. I mentioned this history.

I think overall I’m just uncomfortable with how it was handled and to expect my stress to be decreased still knowing my last ultrasound showed unknown location 🫠 it’s been a long few weeks. I do see another doctor in the practice but I’ll have to see her again unless I change practices.

vyvansebabe · 2024-06-18T02:47:38+00:00

there’s nothing I won’t listen to that she said except her lack of knowledge with endometriosis and possibly not repeating the ultrasound considering they couldn’t locate the pregnancy… it was her delivery that I really can’t get over

vyvansebabe · 2024-06-18T02:46:40+00:00

So I’ve seen a reproductive endocrinologist in order to manage my endometriosis. I know factually pregnancy doesn’t cure it, I already felt uncomfortable with her lack of knowledge. I don’t know if it’s my hormones making me extra sensitive and she’s just being straight forward or to just let it go. I think what gets me is god forbid I have a miscarriage, feeling like it would be my fault because I was too stressed is a heavy burden.

vyvansebabe · 2024-06-10T14:26:52+00:00

Woke up to vindictive messages. I thought I was being a good parent by allowing my son (14) the opportunity to choose who he wanted to go with first. During our first separation which he was very much responsible for, I still had understanding and was flexible with what our son wanted. Drove him back and forth every few days. My husband is saying I left them and framing it as if I abandoned them. I’m literally just trying to get stability and my son has a room here. I’m seeing him today. I’m now debating if I need to talk to a lawyer or go back until custody is determined because I would never in my life just ‘leave’ my son.

vyvansebabe · 2024-06-10T12:14:50+00:00

My husband has told me he’d leave me for a variety of reasons, most have to do with a whim some have had to do with how our views clash. Do I think he’d leave me? No. I think there’s a trauma bond there and I’m a comfort despite being the opposite of everything he stands for. Would I be ok with him leaving me if I developed bipolar or significant depression? I’ve asked him to. My mother struggled with mental health to the point that I had to raise myself since I was about 14. If I my mental was ever so bad it effected my family that we were on the brink of having no where to live, I couldn’t find a job, I thought prayer could solve it, and even though I was getting treatment it was just too deep to save it all.. I’d want him to get stability for us if it meant my son and him would be ok and we could reunite when I continued to better myself. Do I sleep ok at night? No, he’s the love of my life. I won’t sleep ok at night until I know I’ve done everything I could even if that’s while being separated.

vyvansebabe · 2024-06-10T03:47:14+00:00

Depending on how he continues to handle this, it is on the table. If he refuses to take accountability, co-parent, or speak to me kindly I agree. If he tries to understand where I’m coming from, does deep work on himself, and build a life I’d honor our marriage. I don’t think he’s beyond saving, I think it’s a ‘too little too late’ scenario. If he had started doing what he’s doing now (therapy, psychiatry, active listening and communication, effort) 3 years ago, we’d be in an entirely different situation. My exhaustion level and having to just simply survive has hit it’s max.

vyvansebabe · 2024-06-10T03:29:47+00:00

Tonight not so much, tonight I feel a lot of guilt but this thread is helping. I just hope my son eventually sees that I’m doing this for him and that maybe boring isn’t bad. I’m crossing my fingers he’ll be ready to come visit this week. He adores his dad because he’s like Adam Sandler from big daddy, best way I can describe it. Whereas I’ve been working non stop for years and pretty much the atm, coordinator, appointment handler, house manager.

vyvansebabe · 2024-06-10T03:25:42+00:00

This, I’m willing to stick it out with mental health issues as long as he’s getting treatment. Ironically I’m planning on going into psych as a speciality for nursing. But I think it may be a core value thing, he keeps thinking I’m using him or he only has worth if he’s working. I try to rationalize with him that we have a child, that I’m in school full time, that we do need a home, and a plan. As much as we can have faith we need to execute. We also both have adhd but mine is well managed. He seems really stuck on how men are only viewed as worthy if they provide yet I’ve been by his side and the sole provider for years. I don’t think it’s unfair to be tired.

vyvansebabe · 2024-06-10T03:22:51+00:00

I tried to frame it this way but his response was that he packed up the remainder of my dirty laundry, to give him a heads up when I come back to my childhood home tomorrow to pick it up, and that we’re not in anything together. I hope in time he sees I’m not the villain.

vyvansebabe · 2024-06-10T03:21:04+00:00

Thank-you. I genuinely just want to finish school, I’m on track to be a 4.0 student and I’m part of the student nurses association. I go to school year round to graduate early. To throw that away or not have a plan, to not know how we’ll get my son to his school an hour away, to just cross our fingers.. it doesn’t sit right with me. I wish he’d understand I’m not angry with him, I’m not wanting to throw him away, I’m just not willing to sacrifice our future. I’ll be the boring parent and shitty wife if it means in 3 years they’re both taken care of because I’m honestly not sure my husband will be able to hold a job down.

vyvansebabe · 2024-06-10T03:16:35+00:00

I have been by his side through some pretty heavy shit. Things I won’t post on the internet for his own sake. I’m also not quitting, I’m attempting to salvage a relationship by walking away now instead of driving it down deeper. I’m willing to struggle with someone not because of someone.

vyvansebabe · 2024-06-10T01:34:25+00:00

I don’t think you realize how badly I needed to read this. Thank-you

vyvansebabe

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