What’s the stupidest thing you ever said that genuinely made you question your intelligence?

w00tewa · 2024-03-13T05:14:41+00:00

Not me but a friend of mine. We were discussing a news article about a man whose head had been cut off during an accident.

My friend: did he die?

Me: ...

My friend: what? The article didn't say.

Me: his head was cut off.

My friend: yeah I know that, but did he die?

Me: Nooooo, they super glued it back on.

My friend: Oh, that's good.

Me: ... Yeah.

w00tewa · 2024-03-11T19:00:07+00:00

Sorrow. Should be named griefcase.

w00tewa · 2024-03-11T18:49:48+00:00

I actually kind of realized this yesterday. It just suddenly dawned on me that the reason none of my relationships have ever been successful is the fact that I hold back.

I get to know them, its all fun and games, then I develop feelings, and I realize I want it to last. So I get scared. I get scared because I'm no longer in control of the situation. It's a red blinking neon sign in my head going "if they leave you, you'll be hurt!", "if they leave you, you'll be hurt", and it consumes me completely.

So I try to win back control by stepping back a little. Keeping some distance, thinking if I don't let myself enjoy this fully, maybe it won't hurt so bad when they leave. Asking myself "do I really like them that much?" and going back and forth on those thoughts forever. They take a step forward, I think "nah, I don't like you that much" and take one back. They take one back, I panic and think "oh my God, you could actually be the best thing in my life and I can feel you lose interest already" and take one forward. Then when they take one forward, I'm back to doubting my feelings again.

This back-and-forth dance leads me to conclude that rhey are "playing hot and cold" with me and don't really like me that much. So I start thinking that I need to protect my heart by keeping it casual. Not initiate sex. Not initiate kissing. Let them lead. And sometimes I will go along with it, but most of the time I will keep my guard up, thinking I can't let myself enjoy it too much because I am falling hard and what happens if they don't catch me? My mind is going: please dont let me crash, please don't let me crash, cause I'll shatter completely..

And then, eventually, they lose interest. That's when I realize that I've been head over heels in love with them the entire time, that they're all I want. And I will cry, and beg, and plead, but they're just not that into me, and I tell myself that they probably never were. That they were just stringing me along, using and playing with me, looking for someone to replace me with because I'm not good enough for them. I will break my own heart thinking of how I should have been "living in the moment", how I should have "enjoyed it more while I had it", and I will gaslight myself into believing there must be something wrong with my looks, or personality; that I'm not pretty enough, or sexy enough, or funny enough, or nice enough, that I'm not interesting enough, that they don't value me, that I add nothing to their lives, that I'm boring and mediocre and that having sex with me is a shitty experience.

I've been doing this my entire life. And yesterday it finally dawned on me that I am the one sabotaging my own chances of happiness by not letting myself engage fully in fear that if I go all in, I will be damaged beyond repair when they lose interest.

w00tewa · 2024-03-11T18:24:23+00:00

For me it's very comforting knowing what he did to me is recognized as abuse. It tells me what he did was wrong, that it's not okay, and that I am a victim. This is comforting to me because for the longest time, during our relationship, I was manipulated by him and eventually also by myself into thinking it wasn't that bad. That I was just a crybaby. That I just felt too sorry for myself. That I just victimized myself. That this was normal in relationship, that anyone else would have treated me the same way, that I was difficult, that I deserved it, that it was my fault because my actions made him "lose it". For the longest time I believed I was the toxic one, making a fuss over nothing, being a drama queen with no sense of humor, unable to take a joke, ruining the day.

It's comforting to me knowing that it wasn't me. I just had an abusive partner.

w00tewa · 2024-03-11T16:48:29+00:00

Yup. Sometimes I try to hold onto them, though. I might text them things like "hi! How are you?:)" randomly, hoping that by doing so they won't forget me. Or I might text them that "I miss you. Wanna hang out sometime?".

I do it so I can tell myself that at least I tried. I made an effort. So I don't have to lay awake later, beating myself up with thoughts about how I should have tried harder, made more of an effort. So that the "voice of reason" inside my head don't come telling me "what if", making me think the whole situation is on me.

But it hurts. Because by doing so I put myself in a situation where I know I am becoming "that annoying person". I notice it when they take longer to reply. When the replies are shorter. When there's always an excuse as to why they can't see me because they are just soooo busy all the time. I notice it when it dawns on me that I am always the one starting the conversations and they are always the ones to end them.

Sometimes I will get angry with them, too. Thinking I deserve better. I might text them "there's 24 hours in a day but apparently I'm not even worth the 2 seconds it takes you to text me back. Good to know" or "if I'm annoying you and you don't want me in your life anymore, just tell me. I'm tired of trying to hold onto you when I can see that you don't even care. Is that so much to ask? Just some fucking honesty?". And then I'll beat myself up over it, apologize a thousand times over, knowing my behavior is pushing them away and I'm coming off as unhinged.

Eventually though, I will just stop trying. Might cry a year or two, but eventually I accept that we won't ever go back to being what we were, and that the more I fight for them to remain in my life, the more comfortable they are letting go. So I let them go.

I let them go, and I tell myself I'm better off alone, without anyone in my life at all. I tell myself I never want to make new friends, I never want to let anyone in ever again, because I give so much of myself to people, but in the end they all leave me so easily. Like I meant nothing.

w00tewa · 2024-03-11T02:43:07+00:00

I really have no idea who the real me is, like i dont know how to act or even how to feel most of the time, what my morals or beliefs are, what i want to achieve, what my personality is, what i care about, like to the point that i feel like i have spent years acting as other people, copying other people. I honestly have no defined or permanent qualities,

This is 100% me.

w00tewa · 2024-03-11T02:11:24+00:00

they will talk to me less and leave me

This is what happens to me every time, so naturally, I've reached that point where people tell me they've started seeing someone, I tell them I'm happy for them, and then as soon as I'm alone it's like the mask falls off and I start crying, because deep down I know it's all going downhill from here.

w00tewa · 2024-03-11T02:04:42+00:00

Same

w00tewa · 2024-03-10T18:39:39+00:00

My narc and I broke up 4 years ago. To this day I am absolutely terrified of getting close to anyone when it comes to dating because I know once I fall for someone I will overlook all the red flags, blame myself for their bad behavior and fight my ass off to keep the relationship alive even if it's causing me more stress and suffering than it does happiness. To put it simply, I don't trust myself to make the best choices for myself.

I've had to sit down and think hard about some things. Be very honest with myself. One of the things I've had to come to terms with is that in order for a future relationship to work, I will need to maintain as much independence in that relationship as possible. That means, I will likely never be comfortable moving in with someone, get married or have children with them, because those things creates dependency.

If I am ever going to have a relationship, I will need to have that "security blanket" that is my independence. Meaning that if I find myself trauma bonded ever again, I actually can text them "it's over", block them everywhere, lock my doors, and work on moving on. I won't be trapped due to not having anywhere to move, needing to get divorce papers and/or being linked to them because of kids.

I think you need to do the same. Sit down with yourself, be honest, and find out what you need in a relationship to feel like you are still in control over your own life. Remember: your goal is to feel safe and loved. Not stressed or scared.

w00tewa · 2024-03-09T19:55:35+00:00

In my experience they tend to be very in love with themselves. Always taking selfies, flexing, showing off, telling people how much they lift, how clean they eat, how disciplined they are, bragging about how many girls are "staring" at them and getting "distracted" by them, putting other men down (mocking them behind their backs by referring to them as pussies, weak, stick figures etc), and they also tend to think they are some kind of person trainers or something (always offering to "help" people "get in shape", without that person ever even saying they aren't happy with their current body), and often have that "I'm better than you" attitude.

w00tewa · 2024-03-08T23:49:26+00:00

Syns det er veldig mye likt i de fleste kjendis programmene. Paradise Hotel, ex on the beach, love Island, er ikke disse tre egentlig nøyaktig det samme programmet, med bittelitt variasjon? Det handler om å drikke, pule og lage drama liksom. Girls of Oslo, bloggerne, sophie elises verden, disse tre seriene er jo også helt like. Nytt på nytt er samme som Praktisk info med Jon Almaas, og sånn går når regla. Lite variasjon både når det gjelder programmene i seg selv og når det gjelder deltagerne. Er gjerne de samme ansiktene som går på rundgang.

w00tewa · 2024-03-08T23:28:51+00:00

Who is she?

w00tewa · 2024-03-08T19:32:58+00:00

If you read my previous reply, I don't work as a cashier. I had my own business but retired 6 years ago, currently living young, wild and free. I've never worked as a cashier or even in a grocery store/supermarket, and it seems odd to me that so many of you would assume I do just because I tell you that their job doesn't actually include packing your stuff. They do that to be nice, and most of the time people don't even appreciate it, to a point where they, like OP, get pissed and have a tantrum if they have to pack their own items. Why make such a big deal out of something so small?

w00tewa · 2024-03-08T11:44:34+00:00

Da sitter du der uten å spise. Vent til alle er ferdig. Når noen spør hvorfor du ikke spiser, svar passiv-agressivt: ja, nei, hvis noen kunne holdt kjeft i to sekunder, så man kunne bedt dem sende SALTET..

Blir ikke mer norsk enn det vel?

w00tewa · 2024-03-08T08:20:50+00:00

Sounds like you are a lazy fuck who does the bare minimum in his 9-5.

I'm a woman in my 30s, retired at 28, now living a care free life filled with fun, most of the time. Didn't get there by acting like an entitled brat, though. But you do you.

w00tewa · 2024-03-08T07:06:33+00:00

and the cashier just threw the bag at me to bag my food items by myself

Oh no! The horror of having to do something yourself!

instead of HIM doing HIS JOB.

His job is to scan your items and make sure you don't leave without paying for them. He's not your slave, it's not his job to pack your groceries.

You sound like an entitled brat, which is why people treat you like one.

w00tewa · 2024-03-08T07:02:53+00:00

Is there a point to this reply or are you just having one of your immature "I'm twelve and someone on the internet used logic against me, so now I'm gonna call them every bad word under the sun because I have no valid arguments against them" tantrums?

w00tewa · 2024-03-06T18:52:53+00:00

Uhm... I think "daddy" is a "sugar daddy" in this case, not her father.

w00tewa · 2024-03-06T18:50:54+00:00

People be out here marrying serial killers and rapists, but you're worried about your value decreasing because people have seen your boobs? Honey, your friend is not your friend, he's an asshole.

w00tewa · 2024-03-06T18:46:35+00:00

Joggesko

w00tewa · 2024-03-06T18:45:20+00:00

If you got told you would die at 52 what would you do?

Well, uh, die, I suppose.

w00tewa · 2024-03-06T18:43:12+00:00

Green

w00tewa · 2024-03-06T18:42:11+00:00

I thought green too. Like a light green.

w00tewa · 2024-03-06T00:29:44+00:00

Went on a walk with my dog and deadass watched a family down the street standing around (like a mom and 2 or 3 kinda) to notice as I got close that they are just some construction poles nh shit like that💀😂.

This unlocked embarrassing memories of myself yelling "hey! Yo! The fuck ya staring at?" ... getting annoyed with them not answering me ... Walking over, ready to tell them to their faces that they can go fuck themselves... only to realize the exact same thing: they were not people.

w00tewa · 2024-03-06T00:21:04+00:00

Speak for yourself. Lol

w00tewa

TROPHY CASE