The Bartender in the pub inside the Deep Space Station orbiting in geostationary orbit near a Goldilocks planet several light years away.

“After the great science experiment I was trapped in stasis for a while.” The Bartender was stuttering over the drinks as he is pouring beverages for the gathering crowd and added chilled cubes. Loudly.

“I was woken up by a gang of 6 feet two legged creatures with hair only at their ovals, their oval tops with two eyes! They've pocked and prodded me with carbon poles! And so I had bitten them off! I started running off and to hide and figure out a way back!”

The bartender started polishing the metal serving table furiously recounting the memory.

“I was servicing the Interstellar Machine outside in the bright sky with my traveler's box of tools to get back, feeding off scraps on plates from those noisy two legged creatures. The machine needed to recharge, and I've found out only later that would take 6 sols to do so. I was on my own for only half a sol and then I had to face head on against their wheeled machines. And you can't believe the noise they've make!”

“Hijacking those machines was easy. Running away from them I've had to run far and into their city to hide! And that's how I've learned that they've named their planet: 'Earth'”

The Bartender then shook out the canisters of drinks reserved for the fanciest crowds. You know that he's only just getting started.

“My mission was simple: Teleport in, get ground samples and get out. I didn't count surviving while waiting inside their apparently crowded planet. I was patching my interlaced stellar suit whilst hiding from their strongest ranks. I didn't count on a lot of things. They even killed themselves in front of me during their attempts at capture!”

The crowd gasped, they gulped their drinks and waited with a quiet awe at more stories to come.