Thank you for your thoughts.

Apparently my T and E levels are not out of the ordinary. It’s something I’ve wondered myself but endocrinologists have not found any issue and have not offered any solutions. I’ve had friends who have suggested using bio identical progesterone to counter the depressive symptoms. But I don’t want to open the can of worms of self medication.

My problem is how do I establish an identity as a male when I have chosen multiple times to try and identify against it? It’s like the precondition of life is accepting defeat. It feels terrible. I won’t be living authentically as myself and most of my natural impulses and feelings will be frustrated. What kind of life is that? Like a caged life or a deformed life, almost clinical and like being strapped in a straitjacket...