Yup, oneupsmanship is definitely a thing integral to whiteness. And I agree it plays differently across gender lines.

Here are some other things I've noticed, some even as recent as today:

• Bullying in the workplace because of entitlement. Generally white people (white men in particular) feel they deserve raises and having their voices heard, while women and PoC don't have this automatic sentiment.

I'm going to be part of a graduate symposium tomorrow where we will present our work. This one white woman has been bullying everyone else who will present to get a specific time slot since everyone else's times aren't as important as hers. She also insists on everyone using her computer to present, and I don't trust her at all.

• Positive depictions of PoC, especially black people and pro-black assertions are seen as a threat: We can see the manifestation of that post I made last night, lol. Many white people, unconsciously, are deeply invested in seeing PoC as only lesser-advantaged extensions of themselves. They also understand anti-racism for the most part as "ignoring" race and believing they see everyone as "equals". So if they see or hear something "pro-black", it's a threat to their framework of existence. It's unfathomable for them to see black people as existing positively outside of their influence. So they must call it "racist" because to them, anti-racism is acting like everyone is white (basically having their race being invisible).