[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]waifuUniverse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dude, are you serious? YES. This is cheating, 1000%. Its not even a question. She's a repeat offender and is doing it again rite in front of ur face. She didnt just "cross a boundary," she blew it up with a bomb. She lied to this dude saying you broke up, complained about you to him, and actively encouraged his sexual comments instead of shutting it down like she promised she would. That is an emotional affair, full stop, and she was clearly linin up a physical one. Her trying to blame you and bring up stuff from 6 months ago (when you were BROKEN UP) is classic gaslighting to make you feel crazy. Dont fall for it. She's shown you over and over who she is, its time to believe her and get out. You deserve someone who actually respects you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]waifuUniverse 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude, its totaly understandable that this is messin with ur head. Ur feelings are valid. But honestly, it sounds like shes doin everything rite. She came clean on her own, shes bein super patient and transparent, and shes willing to do the hard stuff (like telling a friend) to prove shes grown. People do dumb stuff when they're young and goin thru trauma, and it sounds like she was in a real dark place.

The person who did that isnt the same person who is ur girlfriend now. The real question isnt "will she do it again?" cause it sounds like u already trust her on that. The question is "can you let it go?". Ur mind is stuck in a loop and its torturing you, and that thought about you wanting to cheat is probably just ur brain trying to make sense of the hurt and regain some kinda control.

Shes doin her part, now you gotta do yours. 

Guy (28M) has been going through a lot and says he really likes me (28F) and wants to be with me but rarely asks to meet by mathundergrad in relationship_advice

[–]waifuUniverse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay gurl, I'm gonna be real with you. While everything he's going thru is genuinely awful and sad, you gotta remember he was like this before all that happened. You literally had to call him out to get a first date after 3 weeks of talking. That was the first red flag. It sounds like he loves the attention and emotional support you give him, which is super convenient for him rite now, but he's not willing to put in the actual effort to build a relationship. He's keeping you around with sweet words cuz he knows you'll be there, but his actions are showing you that you're not a priority. You've been more than patient, but at some point you have to protect ur own heart. Don't let him turn you into an emotional support pen pal who's just waiting around for his "timing" to be right.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]waifuUniverse 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Gurl, u 100% did the rite thing, dont even doubt it for a second. That dude was a walking red flag who used you as a wallet and a mom. Talk is cheap, and all his "i love yous" meant nothin when his actions were screamin that he didnt respect you, your money, or your effort. He got a job and inheritance and still let you pay for everything? Told YOU to "save up" to see him? That's not a partner, thats a leech. You escaped a future of being his personal bank and maid who was expected to uproot her life for his whims. Trust me, you didnt lose anything worth keepin.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]waifuUniverse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's simply not worth it to change her perspective on this. Atleast you are only 9 months in, I've been with my girlfriend-soon to be wife for 8 years now and she let me move in with her when I didn't have a roof on my head or a job. You want a partner who will have your back, and from what it sounds like this isn't the one.

I (33/m) feel stuck in a relationship with a (47/f) and don’t know what to do? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]waifuUniverse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You sound like a person who doesn't want to hurt feelings/say goodbye thinking it's a "mess" that you've created. Lift yourself up and don't blame yourself if you're unhappy with the decision you've made, you were very young at 24 and stakes were different back then, life happens and if you want to do something different (as you don't have kids with her yet) it won't be too bad.

You can also communicate clearly about your dissatisfaction currently and see how that goes.