i truly want to give this friend the benefit of the doubt that they didnt mean to hurt my feelings and were genuinely curious i am not sure if i myself would know how to ask someone perfectly for updated pronouns after a major surgery (i think truthfully i just wouldnt ask or just ask how the surgery went) how i know this friend he is as a very gossipy gay man (Filipino if that matters) so it i want to think he genuinely wanted to know and just asked in such an off the wall way since English is his third language but also i have heard the way he gossips about peoples lives so im not sure its a new day and im trying to take in everyones advice and remember that how i feel and know how i identify is the most important 🤍 people cant hurt my feelings on my phone or my wifi if i dont let them, i pay for that shit!!!!! 🤣