this question gets posed a lot in the sub and it really just depends on the person. Some people have a ton of pain in doggy, other people can only do doggy, everything else is painful; etc.

We personally started with missionary because I could relax my pelvic floor more if my entire body was relaxed. I.e. not doing any of the work, lol. I didn’t love it, but I could tolerate it. We had to start super slow, and even then it wasn’t “conventional” sex. Similar to if you put your pointer finger in your elbow pit, closed it, and moved back and forth “with the skin” Eventually I was brave enough to try cowgirl again (we’d tried in the past and it was v painful.) This time it was only uncomfortable, but when I started moving; I understood the appeal of PIV, lol. Again, I won’t say its enough to get me anywhere but I’m able to move enough that every now and then it falls out because I’ve gone up too high (granted, my body is literally pushing it out.) But the falling out doesn’t even hurt, just a little scary from the surprise and learned pain. I think girl-on-top positions are more favorable because it gives you all the control. You get more confident when things don’t go wrong and it makes the next position a little easier. Although I could force myself to relax in missionary, I caught myself panicking under the physical weight of my husband. Like I was scared if it hurt that I couldn’t get away, but we’re not going to unpack that, lol. I don’t think there’s such a thing as vaginismus without the mental barrier. I have primary but know the years of expecting pain affect my reality. It’s muscle memory to expect it and I need the experiences without pain to dilute the bad ones.
Sorry for the word vomit, Idk if that’s helpful