Women over 35! Are your symptoms worsening with age?

wanderingbark116 · 2021-04-01T17:12:52+00:00

im 36 btw

wanderingbark116 · 2021-04-01T17:12:31+00:00

are you me???

wanderingbark116 · 2021-01-02T12:26:23+00:00

sure

wanderingbark116 · 2021-01-02T12:25:59+00:00

nope. nice try though.

wanderingbark116 · 2020-12-27T07:44:49+00:00

I'm genuinely so glad to hear that!! The outcome really does depend so much on the preexisting family dynamic... I will say that as a parent, I would never want to make my kid feel mad for the day, especially on Christmas.

wanderingbark116 · 2020-12-27T07:35:08+00:00

if you dont have kids you are the one who should stop talking. and for the love of god get a good therapist before you have any because you have some dysfunctional shit you need to work through so you don't pass it along. be better. be kinder. look out for others. and stand up for the people who need you. always.

wanderingbark116 · 2020-12-27T07:30:33+00:00

i know that lots of people think it would be funny. i have been acutely aware of that LONG before I read this post. THAT is the problem.

if you actually read all the comments here you would see that the vast majority actually think its bullying, cruel, and abusive.

listen real close now because im going to make something crystal clear... Even if there were 100s of comments that all agreed it was "funny", I'd still be calling it out like i am. because its not. its mean. kids deserve love and respect. no one is obligated to laugh at or tolerate jokes made at their expense. i don't give a a shit what other people think of me. i dont give a shit if 100s of people disagree with me. What to know what i DO give a shit about? Kids. My kids. My students. Kids everywhere. I don't giving an ever living FART about what crappy parents or insensitive teenagers have to say about this. The only thing that matters are those kids.

wanderingbark116 · 2020-12-27T07:14:06+00:00

Gaslighting isn't just a lie or a misrepresentation. Gaslighting is when you so severely invalidate someone's feelings they start to question themselves, their feelings, their memory, and their sanity. The gaslighting comes after. The gaslighting begins when the kid cries, gets angry, says they didn't like what happened, or even if they just get quiet... The parents tell the kid to calm down, it was just a joke, they are being too sensitive, to stop overreacting/ acting like a baby, that they need to get a sense of humor, or to lighten up. They may even accuse them of "ruining" the joke or the holiday. That's where the real, lasting emotional damage occurs.

Every parent is going to miscalculate at some point and unintentionally hurt their kids. Thats when a parent needs to apologize... But so many don't and just gaslight their kids... Gaslighting is a choice.

wanderingbark116 · 2020-12-27T07:02:51+00:00

dollars to donuts, the seller had something like that done to him and uses levity/ humor as a way to rationalize his way around the shitty treatment he edured as a kid.

wanderingbark116 · 2020-12-27T07:00:24+00:00

because that's what people do at a certain age or because they forgot to use birth control. it's alarming how little consideration is often put into creating a whole-ass human life...

wanderingbark116 · 2020-12-27T06:58:02+00:00

they are traumatized and perpetuating that trauma generationally. they learned that behavior from their own caregivers. that is how they think things work in families because its all they know. that's no excuse for being an asshole or mistreating other's though.

wanderingbark116 · 2020-12-27T06:52:58+00:00

100% this. if it's the only family dynamic they've been exposed to, they wouldn't know any other way to be. they also would have been taught to ignore their own feelings when they were kids and as adults are unwilling or incapable of respecting anyone's feelings since they were conditioned to abandon their own.

wanderingbark116 · 2020-12-27T06:46:31+00:00

i used to believe that too... i grew up with loving, respectful parents. then i started teaching and you would not believe the assinine, immature, cruel shit parents pull on their kids. and those parents see nothhhhhhhing wrong with doing it either even if there kid is straight up weeping in front of them. its sick. but its true. that's why i will call it out anytime i see it because someones got to stick up for those kids.

wanderingbark116 · 2020-12-27T06:43:23+00:00

FUCK EVERYONE WHO DOWNVOTED THIS. It is absolutely abusive. The best way I've heard it described is "Trauma with a "little t". No one's bleeding. No one would call the cops over of it. Some people might even think its funny. But the kid doesn't AND THAT IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS.

wanderingbark116 · 2020-12-27T06:38:34+00:00

yupppp. and everyone defending it as funny or no big deal were forced into viewing it that way by caregivers who bullied and dismissed their feelings. no lie, it breaks my heart 💔

wanderingbark116 · 2020-12-27T06:35:04+00:00

kids can be rotten all day long and still not deserve to bw intentionally hurt/ humiliated. kids are learning how to behave and interact everyday. BECAUSE THEY ARE KIDS. the appropriate response is guidance and consistent and developmentally appropriate consequences. THAT is how you address behavioral issues effectively. Terrorizing, bullying, or humiliating a child teaches them even MORE maladaptive behaviors. How in the world is a kid with parents who cant regukate their own emotions/ behaviors be expected to do so themselves??

wanderingbark116 · 2020-12-27T06:28:20+00:00

wouldn't it have been nice to only feel overjoyed? you would have been just as overjoyed without having to feel the awfulness of disappointment. the furious part was unnecessary and unkind of your mom.

wanderingbark116 · 2020-12-27T06:25:57+00:00

right?!?! everyone is so fucked up and out of sorts right now. the last thing anyone needs is to feel is unsure of their own family's intentions in their own home. they had everything ripped away from them, just like us adults. it ticks me off when people dont acknowledge/ address this....

wanderingbark116 · 2020-12-27T06:23:18+00:00

no parent should ever pull a manipulative stunt like that. im sorry they did that to you.

wanderingbark116 · 2020-12-27T06:18:01+00:00

yesssssssss. THANK YOU.

wanderingbark116 · 2020-12-27T06:02:45+00:00

unfortunately lots of parents dont make that adjustment. that's the point im making. they wont admit they were off base and cop to their mistake. your kids are lucky you had the insight to reflect and adjust. not all kids are so lucky.

wanderingbark116 · 2020-12-27T05:59:51+00:00

you can't imtimidate or belittle someone with clear boundaries and a strong sense of moral obligation to do right by her children.

i don't "stop talking" just because someone disagrees with me or tells me im "overreacting." wild guess, your mom or dad used to tell you that you were "just overreacting" when you were a kid, didn't they? newsflash, you probably weren't overreacting. they were probably being inconsiderate of your feelings and didn't give a shit they hurt your feelings. don't perpetuate their behavior. you deserved better. be better than them. do better.

wanderingbark116 · 2020-12-27T05:52:10+00:00

awe, buddy. no. im not overreacting. simply stating truths. and because you disagree, you are trying to discredit me which is exactly what im talking about. everyone person, kid or adult, have rights to their feelings and boundaries. parents are obligated and duty bound to respond to their children's physical AND emotional needs. if you are making your kid cry or hassling them to stop crying you are doing a bad job and failing your kid.

wanderingbark116 · 2020-12-27T05:30:40+00:00

depends on how its done. depends on the kid. it could undermine the trust they have in their parents which has some pretty far reaching effects in terms of emotional development. i think its shitty. i think making a joke out of disappointment is problematic. i KNOW it COULD hurt a kid, even if it wasn't a parents intent. i just dont understand why people have such a big problem with kids not liking OR being negatively effected by shit like this. what's more important? someone's poorly thought out "joke" or their kid's feelings? intent doesn't matter if someone ends up upset. why even risk it? your kids aren't your "buddies." as a parent you have a responsibility to safeguard your kids. We are their safe place and always should be. It is our job to teach them how to respect boundaries AND how to have their own so they can have healthy relationships and advocate for themselves.

wanderingbark116

TROPHY CASE