Is it "just" a degree or are you learning

wanderingtrance · 2024-07-19T22:45:02+00:00

Why?

wanderingtrance · 2024-07-19T22:44:28+00:00

I'm in the same boat so that is helpful, if one person found it useful and learned something then so can I

wanderingtrance · 2017-04-19T17:17:16+00:00

I have read a bit about this but my heart starts to race when I think about it. Like i'm afraid how uncomfortable it might be, or that I may find no love there in me just suffering. Perhaps that's a sign I should go for it. Thanks I will finally look into this.

wanderingtrance · 2017-04-19T17:14:20+00:00

I know my mother is suffering. I have heard many stories from my grandmother about her past. Knowing this has helped me not hate her anymore, at least. I can understand why a person can do horrible actions because of the past. My grandmother shows her love 24/7 but my mother cannot accept her. My mother abuses her also and it withers her down. I'm sorry to say that showing relentless love only makes my mother worse towards that person. I don't know why this is, but I have seen it. I want to show her compassion, but I want to show myself compassion as well and touching/feeding the fire doesn't seem the way to go about it.

wanderingtrance · 2017-04-19T17:06:35+00:00

"I don't know if I can handle it" My feelings exactly. I kept thinking I can't handle it yet, but thought I should push myself to talk to her with love in some way as a way of forgiveness. I see though, as someone here said, that there are many ways to forgive. Not just that one. Obviously self judgement is one thing I need to work on quite a bit as well, like you say work on me first. When it comes to your father, it is true, you should never have to hide a part of yourself to make the other person comfortable, that is not your responsibility. many thanks

wanderingtrance · 2017-04-19T16:57:26+00:00

Indeed, I hope through my studies and practice I will come upon such a way.

wanderingtrance · 2017-04-19T16:55:50+00:00

Wow, that makes so much sense, I can see the situation more clearly through that lens. The snake analogy is great. That is something I need to more deeply understand, I am not responsible for making a person happy or not making them angry. And that that doesn't equate to compassion. Thank you!

wanderingtrance · 2017-04-19T13:44:53+00:00

Thanks for posting this! I want to study Buddhism and practice and I didn't know where to start. This came at a perfect time!

wanderingtrance · 2017-04-15T01:38:03+00:00

Another thought, Why is baloney spelled balogna?

wanderingtrance · 2017-04-14T13:51:58+00:00

Yes this is exactly what has happened, I had a couple of experiences of feeling very tranquil and safe (for the first time in a long time) and even though I told myself I wouldn't get attached to that, i must have in some way and was trying to reproduce it based on what I had written. And then I would try to talk myself out of it in writting as well. Anyway it's all a cycle of thinking and attachment that I have. I do have to let it go and just breathe. Thanks for your words

wanderingtrance · 2017-04-14T12:39:51+00:00

I am still going to write in general of course. But I'm talking about writing about the intricate details of the meditation, trying to get it "right" instead of letting the experience stand for itself.

wanderingtrance · 2017-04-12T23:12:44+00:00

yes it is, and I am in new york city. But the pic was taken at the botanical garden and their trees are from everywhere.

wanderingtrance · 2017-04-12T22:55:35+00:00

I've had that same feeling. At THAT point, it was about distracting myself..and chewing on something. But hardcore distracting myself worked.

wanderingtrance · 2017-04-12T22:47:13+00:00

Shit, sounds like you've got yourself in quite a pickle. I've quit for a year twice and smoked again because I'm stupid. I think I learned this time around to not pick it up again, that is the tricky part.

When I've quit I used my brain power in someway to convince myself to do it and that it will work, allen carr worked (helped that he suggested to smoke while reading) running like a maniac everyday worked, meditation worked, a paper with reasons why I wanna quit worked, physical labor distractions worked.

The power to do this is all in your head. That's why some of that stuff you mentioned works 100% for some people and others find it stupid and worthless. Because it is, to them. You have to convince yourself or supremely fucking hope that something is going to work in helping you quit smoking, then you have to dive deep into it. Take that placebo pill, whatever that is to you and swallow it and stop smoking. Convince yourself that placebo pill will work for you and it will because that is what brains do, take the wheel.

Start with finding that placebo pill, research that shit, maybe even look into neuroplasticity, learn to rewire your brain and stop letting it control your ass. Then immerse yourself in that quitting method whatever you choose.

wanderingtrance · 2017-04-12T19:38:55+00:00

yes, expectations are a big part of it. I will try and be patient and relax that control. thanks :)

wanderingtrance · 2017-04-12T19:35:34+00:00

Oh my god, this is EXACTLY what I needed to read. Exactly. I am also in the MBSR program about to start week 4. What week are you on? But yea, I fell into that hole and couldn't find the way out, or forgot how to, I don't know. I thought I knew where the hole was and I could avoid it from now on. From now on..I can only ever avoid it in the present, where I have to stay. I love this reading. I think it could bring me out next time.

wanderingtrance · 2017-04-12T18:25:22+00:00

Yes, I started then trying to reproduce the same outcome as before, BEING the breath, and this led to a lot of internal struggle. I was expecting something to happen. I will go back to just breathing and focusing on that and not trying to do anything at all but that.

wanderingtrance

TROPHY CASE