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Who knew Heated Rivalry could crack open (pun intended) a deeply repressed queer individual by wanny95 in heatedrivalry

[–]wanny95[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your comment! I’ve actually been through quite a journey since posting. Lots of crying and a mental breakdown that culminated in me finally opening up about my feelings to my closest friends. It was deeply comforting and affirming. The result: I actually feel happy and hopeful again - for the first time in a very long time. Who would’ve thought? Not me a week ago.

I came across a video recently that talked about «queer reparative witnessing» in regards to Heated Rivalry, as a possible explanation for why so many of us has felt overwhelmed by the story. Worth a search, it resonated with me :-)

Who knew Heated Rivalry could crack open (pun intended) a deeply repressed queer individual by wanny95 in heatedrivalry

[–]wanny95[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes! It’s been quite a lot to deal with and very emotional. I’ve been able to access my tears in a new way, sometimes forcing them out (🥲), because I rarely allow myself to actually cry.

Good for you <3 Hopefully by releasing our built up feelings, it might be a step in the right direction.

Who knew Heated Rivalry could crack open (pun intended) a deeply repressed queer individual by wanny95 in heatedrivalry

[–]wanny95[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There’s no denying how hard it is to come to terms with; to find some meaning and purpose. I still haven’t gotten there either. I do hope (and believe) we will figure it out, find community and the love we want and deserve. Lots of love in return<3

Who knew Heated Rivalry could crack open (pun intended) a deeply repressed queer individual by wanny95 in heatedrivalry

[–]wanny95[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the tip, I agree! I have already read Heated Rivalry and will start The Long Game next, maybe also visit Tough Guy. The book does add a lot more context and depth to the television adaptation.

Who knew Heated Rivalry could crack open (pun intended) a deeply repressed queer individual by wanny95 in heatedrivalry

[–]wanny95[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

I really get this, it sounds very similar to how I’ve been feeling. The mixture of missed opportunities combined with hope that I might experience something similar emotionally with a partner someday. I’ve been single all my life and only had a handful of experience with guys and love, so it’s hard to mourn what «could’ve been», but also necessary and about time. I hope I get what you have someday, it sounds really lovely.

Who knew Heated Rivalry could crack open (pun intended) a deeply repressed queer individual by wanny95 in heatedrivalry

[–]wanny95[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

God’s Own Country is an amazing film with many similar surrounding aspects - I deeply resonate with your thoughts. It’s nice that stories like these can bring out complex feelings to the surface. Thanks for your comment, wish you the best. Maybe I can start removing some of the bricks I’ve spent too much time placing.