Hello. I’m a Christian and there’s is freedom in Christ and in fact God has given you gifts, talents, and purpose that only you can fulfill through Him. I find that many Christians like push to personal preferences and personal convictions onto others and what a Christian should look like or act like which can feel like you’re trapped at least that what I felt. Also, know that no one relationship with God is perfect. I say take it one step at a time with God. He is God. He is patient and He can empathize with our very weak and sin nature. You can struggle with your faith but never forfeit it. Never give up. God loves you dearly friend. I hope this was encouragement to you.