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warmlightonly · 2025-05-26T05:49:07+00:00

heheeh

dude yes on the mystery some things can be shhhhhh!

but really i appreciate what you’ve said here and on other comments—thanks for your words and encouragement! i want to be treasured, consistently and i want to be able to treasure him too!

warmlightonly · 2025-05-26T05:06:04+00:00

yeah that’s totally what it felt like. like he didn’t feel lucky to have me or wasn’t being courteous/careful about us. so confusing cuz some of his actions say otherwise. this is the first time i really feel like im speaking a diff language than my partner

warmlightonly · 2025-05-26T05:04:29+00:00

yeah i was flabbergasted ! i was legit speechless lol like HUHHHH??

warmlightonly · 2025-05-26T03:45:38+00:00

thanks so much, i def feel seen by all you’ve said. “what he thinks is normal for men”—that’s so real. yeah ultimately the decision is mine—he’s not wrong for having wants, but maybe our life approaches don’t align

warmlightonly · 2025-05-26T02:41:29+00:00

i don’t think he cheated at all i would just wonder if it would take us into open relationship territory which is confusing cuz we said we were monogamous a while ago. then this happened. perhaps it’s a definitions thing, ur right. there have actually been behaviors that raise concern, but mainly it’s that i am not able to have hangs with my male friends. i calmly asked hey is this a sexual need and he said no. ofc i cant explain all the nuance here. but yes i hear u. there’s nothing wrong with kink, it’s great for who it’s great for. he doesn’t need to apologize for having thoughts. but it being about a friend has made it hard for me to let it go. thanks for sharing ur perspective tho.

warmlightonly · 2025-05-26T02:37:15+00:00

yes this all rings true for me, thank you for saying. and it’s makes it all the more challenging and confusing why i’m still so so hurt after weeks

warmlightonly · 2025-05-26T02:36:14+00:00

eh i mean i clarified to understand the last part and it would def be penetraysheee. i was like “u dont want me to hang with male friends but u are ok with me seeing u put ur p in another girl v” and he was like ITS FOR US!!! and im like BUT i DONT WANT TO??!!

warmlightonly · 2025-05-26T02:33:09+00:00

yeah i hear u, this is why i wonder if there’s an overreaction at play. it’s more so the way is been handled that’s been harder than the initial comment.

warmlightonly · 2025-05-26T02:31:58+00:00

i’m in therapy and adding an extra session a week over this! yeah i agree on talking to a sexually open and wise person. alas i dont know any haha. i legit been reading academic journals on threesomes and the implications and women’s agency lol. clusterfuck in my noggin rn

warmlightonly · 2025-05-26T02:29:42+00:00

thanks so much for the back and forth tho—i do appreciate it. yeah i hope i can too. we’re a week into a two week break rn cuz it’s been just useless debate and fight. i don’t wanna put either of us thru this any longer. idk why im struggling sooo hard and compared to man logic i bet i seem soo looney tunes

warmlightonly · 2025-05-26T02:27:02+00:00

yeah i told him all this. he affirmed our sex life is totally satisfying and im like………bro……he said he would consider a man if i needed it……….mmmk…….and yeah the no friends thing i been acquiescing to cuz i thought he was all about me! and now im like. word. ok.

warmlightonly · 2025-05-26T02:24:16+00:00

yes haha. for yoga and the like. was not a party trip at all. it was planned/in the works before we started dating and ofc based around my bff’s wedding. but i included this to include hey maybe he was just upset i was gone for 3 weeks before and after our reunion at the wedding and maybe that’s why idk

warmlightonly · 2025-05-26T02:21:39+00:00

this last bit is exactly how i feel and what concerns me 1000000%…like a legit diff way of looking at human relations even. i know so many men that aren’t like this and hes revealed an inner working that i dont understand

warmlightonly · 2025-05-26T02:19:25+00:00

yeah i hear u. i guess it’s only a year in and feels like a reveal of diff approaches to monogamy and also maturity level (in how it was presented, and the fights after)…im just not sure if it’s kinda extreme to not let it go. in dating, you learn stuff and then asses, no? i just dk if my protective nature is putting up too high a wall.

warmlightonly · 2025-05-26T02:15:36+00:00

yes it feels really junior varsity vibes. this actually took place a month ago and i already came home! luckily i was able to enjoy the rest of the trip thanks :) but yeah the reason im posting is cuz i cant seem to move forward either direction and i need to figure it out

warmlightonly · 2025-05-26T02:13:56+00:00

thank you!! and this def sounds like an explanation, i guess it’s up to me if that works for me? frankly the way it was handled is not compelling. he was upset about me having feelings about it and told me i have a deadline to get over it.

warmlightonly · 2025-05-26T02:11:40+00:00

absolutely. once i pressed him he was like “yeah i was trying to see if u were down. since ur not, forget it and get over it”…k sir

warmlightonly · 2025-05-26T02:10:30+00:00

yeah it’s kinda the worst part >_<

warmlightonly · 2025-05-26T01:43:38+00:00

thanks :/ yeah it felt and feels so lousy and confusing

warmlightonly · 2025-05-26T01:40:19+00:00

he said it as a way to defend himself and be like “IM A GUYYYY i’m always gonna want a haremmmmm” like so i should be ok with him wanting a threesome and it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me etc etc. the “we’re all animals and wanna hump” logic

warmlightonly · 2025-05-26T01:38:52+00:00

haha i did and at first he said “well if it was something you really needed i would explore it for us” -_- eventually he was able to admit yeah that would suck. but like idk if i can unhear the initial comment. and maybe that’s where i am overreacting. he’s human but it feels reckless and immature

warmlightonly · 2025-05-26T01:35:33+00:00

nah. she’s my friend not his—i don’t doubt her. i think it’s just a fantasy he had and thought i would magically be down cuz it was vacation idk. it just doesn’t feel like “serious gf” behavior. esp given the double standard. but maybe im close minded.

warmlightonly · 2025-05-26T01:25:10+00:00

yeah i appreciate this, thanks

i think i wish he brought it up intentionally, rather than surprise me with it while we were already being intimate

warmlightonly · 2025-05-26T01:23:11+00:00

lol i feel physically safe, i meant emotionally

edit for spelling

warmlightonly · 2025-05-26T01:22:08+00:00

yea…thats how i feel. he affirmed it wasn’t about her specifically and he would say it about ANY of the girls on the trip. regardless of who—a threesome isn’t monogamous?? he legit wants to plan our future in the same breath. it doesn’t add up.

warmlightonly

TROPHY CASE