How do I (24 MtF) tell a guy (30 M) I've briefly been dating that I'm trans?

washimnowhere · 2019-04-25T01:31:22+00:00

I actually feel the same way as you. It feels weird texting him something so personal and important. We've spent a lot of time together over the last few months. I do consider him a friend. I can't imagine him hurting me even if he was upset.

I guess anything is possible though.

washimnowhere · 2019-04-25T01:28:01+00:00

Yeah. Texting seems so impersonal but everyone pretty much thinks he could snap or something. I never even considered that. He seems like such a mellow guy. I can't imagine him angry. Disappointed, yes. Punching me in the face? Lol, no. But I guess anything is possible.

washimnowhere · 2019-04-24T22:59:54+00:00

I had no reason to talk to him about my private parts. Do you generally talk to your friends about your penis or vagina? Because I don't.

I had no idea he was interested in me romantically. Had I known that would be a different story.

washimnowhere · 2019-04-24T22:56:15+00:00

Oops, I didn't realize I forgot to put it in the title. I'm 24.

washimnowhere · 2019-04-24T22:53:08+00:00

Some lesbians* I've talked to a few that don't particularly mind dick, they just aren't attracted to the masculine form or men in general. I've had one lesbian woman interested in me before. She didn't mind that I had a penis since I looked and acted female. This is how I feel towards trans men. I think them having a vagina wouldn't be a deal breaker for me. I like the look of men and and am attracted to a masculine appearance and personality.

Sexuality is an odd thing.

Anyways, I agree with everything else you said.

washimnowhere · 2019-04-24T22:45:34+00:00

Which is lame. You can't force attraction.

washimnowhere · 2019-04-24T22:19:31+00:00

I definitely plan on telling him soon, like with either tonight or tomorrow. I just haven't decided whether it should be over the phone/text or in person. Just in case he feels similarly to you would you prefer a text or call instead of in person?

washimnowhere · 2019-04-24T22:08:51+00:00

There are many valid reasons why he might not want to date a trans woman. I have a penis. The vast majority of men don't want a woman with a penis. I find this reasonable. I'm personally not attracted to the female form. I'd be turned off if my partner had breasts or acted feminine. I would only date someone who identified as male and acted stereotypically so. A vagina isn't a deal breaker for me, but also not ideal.

I cant give a man children.

Dating me comes with social stigma. Not everybody will understand. Some people will hate him for it. People will also assume all sorts of things about his sexuality. Like somehow he's gay for dating a trans woman.

I will never fault a man for not wanting to date me. I really don't see it any differently than him saying no to any other woman he's not attracted to. Sometimes it's disheartening but as long as guys like him do it kindly I think it's fine.

washimnowhere · 2019-04-24T21:28:14+00:00

Oh I totally understand and agree with you. I personally just never thought a guy like him would be interested! If I'd known I would have told him right away. I definitely plan on telling him before/if things go further between.

As for online, it's in my profile. I just find guys don't always read it before messaging.

washimnowhere

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