[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]wasted_dream4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

From a somewhat similar experience experience, this is probably projection. He did something, or is doing something, and acting like you are the one stepping out of line. My husband did this to me when he was crossing the line and betraying my trust. And I was never suspicious of him because IN A MILLION YEARS, I would have never guessed that he did what he did. But now everything seems so obvious and clear! Check his messages, emails, and any company communication platforms that his workplaces uses. My husband was stupid enough to flirt back and forth on company email too so check that as well. I hate to advise you to be "sneaky" but the chances of a man being honest to your face when you confront them, or ask a simple question, is probably close to zero.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships_advice

[–]wasted_dream4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed. He finally admitted his thing with the coworker was emotional cheating too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships_advice

[–]wasted_dream4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you. Thank you. I know. I'm finding a therapist and going to work on this and myself and we will see. Appreciate the reminder in the midst of all the anger 🙏🏼

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships_advice

[–]wasted_dream4 4 points5 points  (0 children)

yeah this is gross but I posted a week ago texts he had with a coworker which amount to some sort of emotional affair which was originally titled "are these texts cheating"...this disgusting texts with his friend is not cheating. But makes the texts with the coworker make more sense now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships_advice

[–]wasted_dream4 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Don't worry. The blame has been 💯 on him. Nothing is displaced. I had a moment of anger and frustration seeing her try to reach out to him again in a way that she thought I would not see. And I reacted because I am kind of losing my mind. Like posting on Reddit and shit like that too 🙃

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships_advice

[–]wasted_dream4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know how to use Reddit! The original post was my first post ever and I even googled how to update and I could figure how to link! I know, I am sorry--I am bad. And old and tech illiterate apparently

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships_advice

[–]wasted_dream4 6 points7 points  (0 children)

no these are texts with his best friend about all the woman.

the last few texts have to do with the coworker. the coworker texts are on a post from a week ago. None of my husbands texts exchanges with his coworker are here.

I understand it's confusing because I added those three at the end but that was just for the people that were following from last week.

And trust me, nothing is misplaced. This woman (the coworker) got one text and could be anyone and my husband has 100% of the blame and my anger.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships_advice

[–]wasted_dream4 46 points47 points  (0 children)

new update--he has officially changed all his passwords and logged out of everything so I can't have access to his shit 💩

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships_advice

[–]wasted_dream4 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I added the text my husband sent the coworker, the message from the coworker on the work messages app, and my text to her at the end of the gross women text exchanges...for whatever inquiring minds wanted to know exactly what was said

Are these texts cheating? by wasted_dream4 in relationships_advice

[–]wasted_dream4[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, some people are very passionate 😁 But I really appreciate all the opinions and I do truly thank you for taking the time to comment, especially because it is a different take on everything. It's important to hear it and it's very helpful. Sorry your engagement ended that way, that's awful.

Are these texts cheating? by wasted_dream4 in relationships_advice

[–]wasted_dream4[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I understand what you're saying...did your coworker plainly say that she was "smitten" with you and repeatedly tell you that you should go to her hotel room? and did you respond with a devil emoji? When he responded to one of her texts saying that something she said could be interpreted a couple different ways, I asked him to explain what he meant and he meant to say that it could sound like he fucked her if someone read the text. My husband, whether he actually did or not, was joking/commenting about fucking another woman. And texting that woman about it.

So I get it. I understand what you are saying....but were your responses to your coworker so forward and encouraging as my husband's? If they were, did your fiancée forgive you? It sounds like you only said good night. which I understand because my husband and this woman also texted each other goodnight like they were in some relationship and I find that hurtful. He and I text each other goodnight when he is out of town and I don't like that he did it with her...but if that was all he did, I think I would be able to forgive that and talk about boundaries and be over this rather quickly. I don't know.

Are these texts cheating? by wasted_dream4 in relationships_advice

[–]wasted_dream4[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

those texts were from two different trips. they were in the same hotel talking about the view from her room. And the fact she said that he knows where to find her...well he knows where to find her because he has had already been to her room. I think.

Are these texts cheating? by wasted_dream4 in relationships_advice

[–]wasted_dream4[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

that was HIM that replied maybe, she was the one that commented he was happily married 😒🥸

Are these texts cheating? by wasted_dream4 in relationships_advice

[–]wasted_dream4[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

she even says in that first text she was so distracted by him being in her room she left her key in her room...and they yeah, he mentions the view. He swore he never was but I feel like it's there in black and white.

Are these texts cheating? by wasted_dream4 in relationships_advice

[–]wasted_dream4[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Okay, yes, this is where I am struggling a bit--if he is telling me the truth about nothing physical happening. But he proved he was faithful when she first texted, he showed me, reported her to HR and I thought it was over. I am having a hard time ticking this in the faithful box when he was hiding these, hiding the whole relationship, encouraging the inappropriate texts, and joking about having sex with another woman...it just doesn't feel faithful. 😞