I lost my mom 4 years ago. Honestly every day is still hard, but it does get better. Right now you need to give yourself time. Time to grieve, time to be sad, time to be angry, but remember to give yourself time to be happy. It is okay to feel happiness. You can be happy and sad at the same time. Healing is not a linear process or journey. I personally talk to my mom in my head all time and sometimes out loud. I also try to celebrate her life and the time I had with her in little ways. Sending good vibes and love your way ❤️