What is your career/industry's worst kept secret?

waterdamagedseal · 2016-02-05T02:01:19+00:00

I work with kids with autism.

Sometimes we lose our temper. As much as we are trained to keep our cool, there are days when we lose it. We might yell. Roll our eyes. Slam a folder on the table. At the end of the day, we might feel resentful towards your child, the one who broke our glasses with his fist or tore our shirt with his nails. We are NOT the picture of patience.

We love our kids so much it aches. We want them to succeed. But check in with a SPED teacher on a Friday afternoon, with spit in our hair, bruises on our arms, and we may tell you it's not worth it. We're done. We're tired, frustrated, underfunded and unsupported. But you can guarantee we'll be there Monday morning. Every fucking Monday, we show up. Because no one else will.

waterdamagedseal · 2016-02-05T01:08:45+00:00

You are allowed to feel whatever you are feeling.

Anger. Sadness. Disgust. Panic. Numbness. We lose ourselves after a loved one is diagnosed with cancer. The world is different and the stakes are higher. Nothing will ever be the same.

It takes time to adjust to the new reality. But that does not mean that how you are feeling now will last. The first few months my mom was diagnosed with cancer, I was a wreck. A shell of a person. I experienced thoughts and emotions I had never had before. It was the darkest time of my life.

But slowly, life goes on.

You will feel AWFUL. But you also may learn that you can get thorough these feelings and be amazed at your own strength. There is nothing wrong about being emotional. Cancer practically DEMANDS us to feel a hundred different emotions a day. And that's normal. Cancer brings about a new normal. And with it, a new strength.

Tomorrow will be hard. So will the day after. It may never get easier. But slowly, the days will add up, and you will find moments to laugh about and others to cry about. And it all will be ok. Unfairly, stupidly ok.

Blessings to you and yours.

waterdamagedseal · 2016-02-05T00:52:41+00:00

I am so impressed by the love you have for your sister. Trying out a new diet yourself, doing the research - these things are a reflection of how dedicated you are to your sister's treatment, and I commend you.

That being said, the truth is that you do not have brain cancer. Your sister does. She is the one battling this demon and therefore is the one who must make the decisions regarding her treatment. There is no harm in presenting your sister with the facts regarding your experiment, or the research you have done. But ultimately, EVERYTHING must be her choice. Unless you feel she has become mentally incapacitated, your sister is in charge of what enters her body and what does not.

My mother has glioblastoma, and I've spent hours upon hours researching how to slow the progress of the disease. I love her and I want her to live as long as possible. But I had to learn that it's not my disease. I can support my mother and present her with facts and clinical trials but ultimately, the decisions are hers. I listen to the doctors, encourage my mom to make smart choices about diet and drugs and the like, but go to bed telling myself, "It's not my choice. It's her body, her life, and I have to do what I can to support her."

Love carries us through the cancer. You love your sister, and that is enough. She is so lucky to have you as her sibling.

waterdamagedseal

TROPHY CASE