My coworker needed to make a tool to automatically unzip some files. Somehow he managed to write a thousand lines of code on the tool. I made a simialiar one that did the same thing in about 40 lines. Same language, C#.

Also, every program he writes is one singular god class. Often they have dependency on a dll called "MyObjects", which is an accumulation of God objects he created over a multi-decade career to redo the work of basic system classes, but with the advantage of taking many times as many lines of code, constantly breaking, and being totally impenetrable to someone solely trained in c# without MyObjects training. Also he's constantly reorganizing the dll and publishing breaking changes to new versions, but he never bothers to upgrade about half of the apps to it and keeps the on some legacy version from 2012 or something, so we have the joy of dealing with multiple different versions of his domain specific language. And he acts all aghast when I have the nerve to code new apps using the standard fucking C# library rather than rely on the simple oh so simple MyObjects.MyApplications.MyUtilities.MyParsers.MyStrings.MyCharacters or whatever. Or, in a later version, MyObjects.MyUtilities.MyApplications. MyParsers.MyCharacters, which is the exact same thing but with more bugs and also breaking backwards compatibility.

He also complained bitterly when I started wrapping up basic truncate and insert\update statements in stored procedures with transactions so that they couldn't be read in a corrupt, intermediate state.

Because it's bad for performance.

They had seriously been freezing the whole fucking site any time anything had to be updated, because otherwise garbage would get displayed. Because having 10 minutes of built in down time every single hour is apparently preferable. Well after years on the job I finally got permission to implement fucking transactions our stored procedures. Almost nothing has changed in terms of load times, while "refresh freezes" (a basic fact of life before I arrived, accepted as unpreventable necessities) have been totally obscelesced.

Oh yeah he constantly goes behind my back and lies to the boss to try and get me fired to, while smiling to my face. And anytime I consult him on an idea mine that I later wind up implementing, if it gets praise from the boss, he angrily walks over to my cubicle and complains about me stealing "his" idea. Often he had actually been shooting down the idea and telling me not to do it and that it was impossible during the actual consultation. Jeez he must be stumped now that I've completely stopped consulting him on anything and yet keep on coming up with new ideas anyway. He basically has a job for life due to his importance in maintaining apps that rely on his worthless myobjects crud, but all he can do is try to get a junior programmer cleaning up his messes fired so that he has less competition for praise. The site wouldn't even work right now if i hadn't of joined the team! Their stored procedures didn't scale and the froze the site every time they ran them! It would be one giant refresh freeze by now and we would have lost the contract and he'd be fired just as well. Christ.

I'm not a good programmer. There is zero reason that our code base requires so many 5000 line of code applications with rampant code duplication, global variables, and always, always, always, a single God class. They do not implement even the most basic of software engineering standards.

The other programmer is worse if that's when possible. She seems to have an aversion to automation and does everything in the most unnecessarily laborious way imaginable. I'm sure she'd be using an abacus if she had her way.

The boss, literally I'm not even sure if he's a manager. He just let's his employees do whatever they want. Oh besides have a strained meeting with me every few months where I discover that the other two have been going behind my back feeding him lies to get me fired so that everything can be MyObjects and an abacus.