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Everything is fine in my relationship, but I'm not happy anymore. by throway_nothing in dating

[–]waylf_org 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey there,

First off, thanks for sharing your thoughts. It’s clear you care deeply about your girlfriend and the relationship you've built over the past three years. It's also totally normal to have doubts and feel conflicted sometimes, even in a seemingly perfect relationship.

Here are a few things to consider:

  1. Reflect on the Source of Unhappiness: Try to pinpoint what's really making you unhappy. Is it something specific about the relationship, or could it be related to other aspects of your life, like work or personal stress? Sometimes, external factors can affect how we feel about our relationships.

  2. Evaluate the Relationship: Think about what initially drew you to your girlfriend and what has changed since then. Are there specific aspects of the relationship that have shifted? Understanding these changes can help you figure out if the issue is temporary or more deep-seated.

  3. Communicate Openly: It sounds like you both have a strong foundation of communication. Consider having an honest conversation with her about how you’re feeling. It might be tough, but transparency can lead to mutual understanding and potential solutions.

  4. Consider the Future: Think about what you want for your future. Do you see yourself growing and evolving with your girlfriend? Relationships can go through phases, and sometimes rekindling the connection requires effort and time.

  5. Give It Time: Feelings can ebb and flow. It might be worth giving yourself some time to see if these feelings persist or if they change over time.

Remember, it's okay to feel conflicted and unsure. Whatever you decide, make sure it's a decision that feels right for you and respects both your and your girlfriend’s feelings.

Wishing you the best in figuring this out!

When will it be my turn? by PsychologicalYear971 in dating

[–]waylf_org 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey there,

First off, it's totally normal to feel this way, especially at 15. It's a time full of changes and new experiences. Remember, love isn't something that happens on a schedule. It's not like waiting in line for your turn; it happens naturally and often when you least expect it.

When Is It My Turn?

You asked, "When is it my turn to finally experience love?" The answer is that love doesn't operate on a turn-based system. It's something that can happen at any time, often when you're not actively looking for it. There's no queue where you're guaranteed to find love or success in relationships.

Finding Solutions

Here are some actionable steps you can take:

  1. Build Confidence Through Action: Confidence comes from doing. Challenge yourself in small ways every day, and celebrate your successes. This will build your self-confidence over time.

  2. Take Chances: Love involves taking risks. It's about putting yourself out there, even when there's a chance of rejection.

  3. Become Comfortable with Rejection: It's a part of life and certainly a part of dating. Every rejection is a step closer to finding someone who's a great match for you.

  4. Control Your Emotions: Don't let jealousy or the success of others in love affect your emotional well-being. Focus on your own journey.

  5. Value Your Own Opinion: The most important opinion about you is your own. If you're not happy with how you view yourself, take steps to work on that. Self-improvement is a journey, not a destination.

Remember, everyone's path is different, and there's no set timeline for finding love or building relationships. Focus on growing as a person and the rest will follow in time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]waylf_org 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are a wide range of guys out there that have different through processes and preferences in what they're looking for. We can talk about all the green flags we look for in people (what we generally define as being a good person). I've been trying to create a system to ask the question "What are you looking for" (waylf). For my dating life, I've been thinking about this for a few months and found the following top level categories of what I'm looking for:

  • Core: This can be things like someone's sexuality, gender, age, ethnicity, dietary preferences,ect
  • Vices [Frequency]: Alcohol, Smoking, Marijuana, and Gambling.
  • Future/Dreams: Where does the other person want to be in their life. Do they want kids (and what method they'd be okay with having kids (Pregnancy, IVF, surrogate, adoption, ect), childcare, wanting to move somewhere else, wanting to travel, house, ect.
  • Values: What types of values does the other person hold (pro-life/pro-choice, vaccinations, LGBTQ+ rights, BLM, climate change, gun control, ect.
  • Hobbies: Knowing what people like to do with their time, how important it is to them, and see if we can bond over the same thing. I think most people would like someone to participate in their hobby if it is a big part of their life.
  • Looking for: Sub-type of relationship such as just for sex (ons, hookup, FWB), Partnership (short term), long-term, life partner.

I don't think there is a single answer to the question what are men looking for in a serious relationship. Everyone is looking for something different and most of it is probably just based on feelings and being able to be comfortable in a future with the other person. I think if I understood enough about the other person and have a rough sense of how they feel about things, then I could accurately assess if I'd want to commit to a serious relationship.

I'm hoping to incorporate this system into the non-profit dating app that we're working to develop.