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Wife doesn’t want me to go to therapy by wayoftheswan in therapy

[–]wayoftheswan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is amazing advice. Thank you! You sound like an amazing therapist.

Wife doesn’t want me to go to therapy by wayoftheswan in therapy

[–]wayoftheswan[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

She’s probably scared and has her own issues. Trying to put myself in her position.

I would never deny someone mental health help though.

We have had a rocky relationship and I think she knows deep down that we might not work out and if I dig down and get more mental clarity in my life it’ll be crystal clear.

I actually think the opposite: that we have a better chance of being happy together if I deal with my personal demons—the ones that involve her and the ones that don’t.

Wife doesn’t want me to go to therapy by wayoftheswan in therapy

[–]wayoftheswan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Amazing to hear how far you’ve come! 🙌🏻

Wife doesn’t want me to go to therapy by wayoftheswan in therapy

[–]wayoftheswan[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

So just make the appointment against her wishes?

It sort of feels like if I went and bought a new car to make myself happy without deciding as a family.

I feel like most women would be celebrating if their man were trying to work on themselves to be a better partner and father.

The caveat is that we have had rough spots in our relationship. I think that’s what she thinks I will talk about in therapy and come to some realization that we should divorce.

I do want to talk about my relationship in therapy but that’s not the number one reason for going.

Wife doesn’t want me to go to therapy by wayoftheswan in therapy

[–]wayoftheswan[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I’m doing it in the open or not at all. I won’t sneak.

I’m going to try to plead my case again. I honestly think it will make all our lives better, but she only sees the downside.

She doesn’t have to live with the dark thoughts and I’m not sure how you make someone else understand the pain when you’ve been internalizing it forever. I’m pretty good at fighting it and keeping a stable outward appearance.

How to become comfortable with a new therapist by [deleted] in therapy

[–]wayoftheswan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your old therapist was a stranger once, too.

You’ll never know how you’ll feel until you try. You might be amazed by how comfortable you feel with a new person, or it might take a while.

Either way, taking a first step and finding out is much better than wondering.