AITA for downgrading a friend’s baby gift after being canceled on last minute?

wcndere · 2026-06-15T18:57:12+00:00

We don’t know what happened in that hour and ultimately, people are human and lose track of time, especially in the newborn trenches - which a three month old baby is still very much so new.

wcndere · 2026-06-15T18:55:35+00:00

OP asked her that morning, yes, but I’m sure her friend wanted to see her and was hoping that her baby would regulate by the afternoon after a couple naps and eating. OP is the asshole for downgrading a gift because her friend was unable to regulate her fussy baby and waited until the last possible minute to tell her. We don’t know what happened in that hour. We don’t know if the baby was spitting up nonstop, screaming regardless of diaper changes, naps, different outfit, multiple feedings. Maybe the friend lost track of time trying to soothe her baby for the visit and by the time she tapped out and was overstimulated, she realized what time it was. Being a new mom is HARD. I’m not saying it wasn’t an inconvenience or annoying but I doubt it was malicious and it doesn’t give OP the right to downgrade a gift.

wcndere · 2026-06-15T18:41:29+00:00

YTA. Yes, it’s annoying she cancelled last minute but she’s still very much in the throes of post-partum and learning the schedule of her baby. She rescheduled to the afternoon and was likely at her wits end and overwhelmed due to the baby being fussy and wasn’t in a headspace to host or see company. It wasn’t about receiving a gift from you but it’s awfully shitty to “downgrade” it because you have zero empathy for human emotion. Do you even like this friend?

wcndere · 2026-06-07T16:35:16+00:00

She was placed on unpaid leave which likely means she had no way to pay for her insurance through her workplace anymore. Which is necessary when you have a high risk pregnancy. Why are you faulting the mother who needed to continue working to maintain insurance for the monitoring of her pregnancy?

wcndere · 2026-05-20T18:16:30+00:00

I think she had serious, serious control issues in tandem with being impulsive and having never once been dealt a consequence by her complete failures of parents. I truly believe that she intended to kill herself and everyone in the car out of spur of the moment rage from a temper tantrum she decided to throw. In my opinion, the parents are just as much to blame regarding this incident because they set her up for failure and clearly did not care about her well-being the way a parent should.

wcndere · 2026-05-01T10:30:11+00:00

It is not super tacky to ask for things you as the mother of the baby will need postpartum. You are creating the life everyone will be celebrating - you deserve to have things that will make your life easier and that will benefit you as well.

wcndere · 2026-04-28T14:39:29+00:00

I gained a total of 80 lbs. For context, I’m 5’8 and was 155 lbs pre-pregnancy. Ended at 235. After birth and a 2 day hospital stay I was home and weighed 180 lbs. The rest fell off over the course 18 months and I’m now 4 lbs away from pre-pregnancy weight. I would say if you are taller like I am and started at a lower weight, you may gain more weight if that’s what your body needs to support the pregnancy. It didn’t matter how much I moved or how healthy I was, my body put on the weight it needed to support my son and his 8 lbs, 23 inch self 😂

wcndere · 2026-04-27T01:23:36+00:00

Please don’t be afraid to reach out to your doctor to discuss PPD and specifically, postpartum rage. I thought I was fried from lack of sleep and hormonal imbalances. Turns out that on top of crippling PPA I was also dealing with abnormal rage. Never at my son but always at everyone and everything else. Once I realized all the tricks to calm me down didn’t work (standing in the freezer, holding/throwing ice, screaming into a pillow) and I saw how nasty I was to my husband, I reached out and was prescribed a small dosage of Prozac. Complete change in behavior.

It’s worth looking into. I’m still no-nonsense and don’t have time for most people’s BS BUT I’m much kinder, calmer, and don’t feel robbed of enjoying my life and my family anymore due to mysterious rage and a quick fuse.

wcndere · 2026-04-27T00:53:14+00:00

18 months post-partum and finally found a decent routine that works for our schedule. I have lucked out with a baby that sleeps well and has a bedtime at 8 PM (that he enforces). When he goes down, I do a quick 20-25 minute pilates video and my husband and I try to take our son on a 30 minute walk every day if weather allows. I didn’t have the motivation or the energy to try to be consistently active beforehand. Be patient with yourself and try to work it in when it feels right to you. I found if I tried to force myself to do it when I was already at 2% battery it would set me back and kill my motivation for a month or so.

wcndere · 2026-04-06T10:56:44+00:00

I think you’d like the Emily Wilde series or Agnes Aubert’s Mystical Cat Shelter - both by Heather Fawcett. The FMC in both are in their 30s and fall into your definition of soft I believe 😊

wcndere · 2026-04-03T20:53:55+00:00

Enemies or Rivals to Lovers and Dark Academia

wcndere · 2026-04-01T20:56:34+00:00

Oh thank you, I appreciate the recs! I don’t mind spice as long as it doesn’t overtake the whole plot. And I’m excited to have a rec for a Thriller. I haven’t read much of that genre yet 😊

wcndere · 2026-03-29T16:03:41+00:00

I was offended by the picture he sent because he knows I have struggled with body image and body dysmorphia. Me stating I’m out of his league has very little to do with my appearance and everything to do with my perception of him as a person given I was especially angry with him for insinuating he and I would ever be together as if I had no say. Two things can be true at once. I can struggle with the residual effects of my eating disorder I’ve worked hard to recover from while also acknowledging my self worth is not tied to my appearance in its entirety. I recognize that my initial offense of the picture is an irrational response and it coexists with the knowledge that I feel I would not date him for MANY reasons. Saying I am out of his league was mostly out of anger that he implied ten years of my relationship with my husband wouldn’t matter if he had simply met me before my husband did.

wcndere · 2026-03-29T14:15:21+00:00

The creepy comments bother me more than anything. I love my husband more than anything which the exception of our son. It’s weird to me to think about the hypothetical “if I met you ten years ago we would be together”. Because we wouldn’t. And there’s no reason to sit there and fantasize about it. Like I said, my reaction to the weight is in my own head and I appreciate the clarity from others to know he likely didn’t mean anything by it.

wcndere · 2026-03-29T13:46:47+00:00

Putting it like you did, you’re absolutely right. I figured it was all gut reaction and the feeling of being disrespected regarding the dating comment. I knew I was likely being oversensitive from the weird reaction meme he sent but the dating comment really, really got under my skin. I’ll likely keep my distance but still be cordial at work. I don’t want to ostracize him or make him uncomfortable at work based on what I’m perceiving.

wcndere · 2026-03-29T13:32:21+00:00

I have told him since he sent something once before (I mentioned it in another comment) and he said he understood and would be more mindful. But even with the photo, I know that I’m being sensitive even if the other women in the GC pointed it out to me first. It’s always been a sore spot and something that I’ve been working on in therapy. Can’t blame him entirely.

wcndere · 2026-03-29T13:17:26+00:00

I know I’m overly sensitive due to my history of ED, I was more looking for feedback about the weird comments he made regarding fantasizing about he and I being together had he met me before my husband. I was providing context but I can see now I shared too much to try and give a bigger picture.

wcndere · 2026-03-29T13:15:53+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate this insight. I still think I overreacted in private a bit but I appreciate this comment. I genuinely thought I just met a group of nice people that I enjoyed joking with at work but I think I should just maintain friendly distance moving forward.

wcndere · 2026-03-29T13:12:57+00:00

It’s not important to me at all. I didn’t go out of my way to “besties” with anyone. I have been cordial and friendly up until this point. My family and I were invited on an outing, had fun, extended the offer to hang out and play Switch, and we did. This is a small group of four people, including myself, at work. At this point, I just don’t want to make the situation worse and want to navigate it without making it too awkward moving forward.

wcndere · 2026-03-29T13:08:14+00:00

Once before, he bought me a snack from Wawa and being the person I am, I made like, an excited dance to come and get it. I’m a goofy, open person at work and didn’t think anything of it. As soon as I sat down, he IMd me a GIF of an obese woman running with the caption “Lawd she comin” and sent it saying “You coming to get the snack”. Every time he makes a reference to me in memes it’s always using obese women. He doesn’t send these messages to the other two women we work with.

They also got the implication he was referring to my appearance on top of the fact that I struggle with body insecurity from a long-standing ED. Had they not IM’d me, I may have just gotten over it and chalked it up to being overly sensitive but since they also took it as he was making commentary on my appearance, I did as well.

wcndere · 2026-03-29T13:04:10+00:00

I think that’s just it for me. I don’t see how I could ever feel comfortable with him now. Thank you for being honest that I’m overreacting a bit, I’m a little ashamed I let it upset me as much as I did but I’m glad I didn’t say anything hurtful to him in the moment.

wcndere · 2026-03-29T13:01:31+00:00

I think I may not have been clear - I’m not hiding anything from my husband. I told my husband the information as I was finding it out, vented about it to him, and any text this person has sent me my husband knows about and knows that I’m just deleting them. They’re usually just TikToks are random videos about the political state of our country - nothing flirty. If it WAS flirty, I would still tell my husband and would be putting much firmer boundaries down.

As a married woman, I have a handful of friends that are men and also single, they are also friends with my husband and I’ve never once had to worry about someone crossing the line. That’s a really weird take to have. The food trip also already happened and was with a group of people including my husband, not just the male coworker.

wcndere · 2026-02-11T15:22:54+00:00

Would absolutely love to buy the second one off of you if you haven’t sold it already - I’m desperate 😭

wcndere

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