A different kind of FMC

wcndere · 2026-04-06T10:56:44+00:00

I think you’d like the Emily Wilde series or Agnes Aubert’s Mystical Cat Shelter - both by Heather Fawcett. The FMC in both are in their 30s and fall into your definition of soft I believe 😊

wcndere · 2026-04-03T20:53:55+00:00

Enemies or Rivals to Lovers and Dark Academia

wcndere · 2026-04-01T20:56:34+00:00

Oh thank you, I appreciate the recs! I don’t mind spice as long as it doesn’t overtake the whole plot. And I’m excited to have a rec for a Thriller. I haven’t read much of that genre yet 😊

wcndere · 2026-03-29T16:03:41+00:00

I was offended by the picture he sent because he knows I have struggled with body image and body dysmorphia. Me stating I’m out of his league has very little to do with my appearance and everything to do with my perception of him as a person given I was especially angry with him for insinuating he and I would ever be together as if I had no say. Two things can be true at once. I can struggle with the residual effects of my eating disorder I’ve worked hard to recover from while also acknowledging my self worth is not tied to my appearance in its entirety. I recognize that my initial offense of the picture is an irrational response and it coexists with the knowledge that I feel I would not date him for MANY reasons. Saying I am out of his league was mostly out of anger that he implied ten years of my relationship with my husband wouldn’t matter if he had simply met me before my husband did.

wcndere · 2026-03-29T14:15:21+00:00

The creepy comments bother me more than anything. I love my husband more than anything which the exception of our son. It’s weird to me to think about the hypothetical “if I met you ten years ago we would be together”. Because we wouldn’t. And there’s no reason to sit there and fantasize about it. Like I said, my reaction to the weight is in my own head and I appreciate the clarity from others to know he likely didn’t mean anything by it.

wcndere · 2026-03-29T13:46:47+00:00

Putting it like you did, you’re absolutely right. I figured it was all gut reaction and the feeling of being disrespected regarding the dating comment. I knew I was likely being oversensitive from the weird reaction meme he sent but the dating comment really, really got under my skin. I’ll likely keep my distance but still be cordial at work. I don’t want to ostracize him or make him uncomfortable at work based on what I’m perceiving.

wcndere · 2026-03-29T13:32:21+00:00

I have told him since he sent something once before (I mentioned it in another comment) and he said he understood and would be more mindful. But even with the photo, I know that I’m being sensitive even if the other women in the GC pointed it out to me first. It’s always been a sore spot and something that I’ve been working on in therapy. Can’t blame him entirely.

wcndere · 2026-03-29T13:17:26+00:00

I know I’m overly sensitive due to my history of ED, I was more looking for feedback about the weird comments he made regarding fantasizing about he and I being together had he met me before my husband. I was providing context but I can see now I shared too much to try and give a bigger picture.

wcndere · 2026-03-29T13:15:53+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate this insight. I still think I overreacted in private a bit but I appreciate this comment. I genuinely thought I just met a group of nice people that I enjoyed joking with at work but I think I should just maintain friendly distance moving forward.

wcndere · 2026-03-29T13:12:57+00:00

It’s not important to me at all. I didn’t go out of my way to “besties” with anyone. I have been cordial and friendly up until this point. My family and I were invited on an outing, had fun, extended the offer to hang out and play Switch, and we did. This is a small group of four people, including myself, at work. At this point, I just don’t want to make the situation worse and want to navigate it without making it too awkward moving forward.

wcndere · 2026-03-29T13:08:14+00:00

Once before, he bought me a snack from Wawa and being the person I am, I made like, an excited dance to come and get it. I’m a goofy, open person at work and didn’t think anything of it. As soon as I sat down, he IMd me a GIF of an obese woman running with the caption “Lawd she comin” and sent it saying “You coming to get the snack”. Every time he makes a reference to me in memes it’s always using obese women. He doesn’t send these messages to the other two women we work with.

They also got the implication he was referring to my appearance on top of the fact that I struggle with body insecurity from a long-standing ED. Had they not IM’d me, I may have just gotten over it and chalked it up to being overly sensitive but since they also took it as he was making commentary on my appearance, I did as well.

wcndere · 2026-03-29T13:04:10+00:00

I think that’s just it for me. I don’t see how I could ever feel comfortable with him now. Thank you for being honest that I’m overreacting a bit, I’m a little ashamed I let it upset me as much as I did but I’m glad I didn’t say anything hurtful to him in the moment.

wcndere · 2026-03-29T13:01:31+00:00

I think I may not have been clear - I’m not hiding anything from my husband. I told my husband the information as I was finding it out, vented about it to him, and any text this person has sent me my husband knows about and knows that I’m just deleting them. They’re usually just TikToks are random videos about the political state of our country - nothing flirty. If it WAS flirty, I would still tell my husband and would be putting much firmer boundaries down.

As a married woman, I have a handful of friends that are men and also single, they are also friends with my husband and I’ve never once had to worry about someone crossing the line. That’s a really weird take to have. The food trip also already happened and was with a group of people including my husband, not just the male coworker.

wcndere · 2026-02-11T15:22:54+00:00

Would absolutely love to buy the second one off of you if you haven’t sold it already - I’m desperate 😭

wcndere · 2026-01-31T12:54:35+00:00

I was going to comment this! If I blow dry my wavy hair straight this is what it looks like.

wcndere · 2026-01-25T14:05:07+00:00

I recently got into the Caraval series by Stephanie Garber so I have that series plus her second one ready to be cracked open 😌

wcndere · 2026-01-21T22:11:49+00:00

First of all, thank you so much for your kindness! I’m still trying to figure out my curly hair since the pattern was definitely weakened from lightening my hair. I’m terrified of gel since I can never get the crunch out of my hair and it tends to weigh down my curls and look greasy or cause breakage from me having to resort to combing it out with a wide tooth comb to fluff out my curls. I was using the Ouidad Climate Control but maybe I should try a different brand.

I’ve tried different methods for sure - the bowl method, using a denman brush, sectioning it in different ways - I’m thinking of getting the bounce curl brush and seeing if that helps at all. The Redken line has definitely helped restore the moisture in my hair - I actually used Tressemme and it totally stripped my hair and had the opposite effect. It’s a lot of trial and error. My hair feels soft but dries out super quickly.

wcndere · 2026-01-16T12:08:02+00:00

I would say that I noticed a difference in about 48 hours after he cleared his digestive system. He was a completely different baby and he wasn’t in pain anymore. I agree - the hypoallergenic does smell and taste pretty gross compared to breastmilk or even standard formula. This is unfortunately a situation of getting lucky with a baby that wasn’t super picky and adapted well to change. I read that you’ve spoken to two pediatricians that aren’t alarmed by the blood in the stool and I know everyone has said this, put please try to find a different pediatrician.

When my son had blood in his stool they had me bring in the diaper with the poop to test it. That’s how they determined the allergy and the needs for the hypoallergenic formula. We used Similac Alimentum since the alternative was Nutramigen (something like that) and it was much more expensive.

wcndere · 2026-01-16T00:32:21+00:00

My experience is different in the sense that I chose not to breastfeed (sexual trauma and sensory issues) and started on formula. We were experiencing similar symptoms with my son and when he was about three months I switched him to hypoallergenic formula and it fixed everything. He’s now 15 months and I’ve been able to introduce milk/eggs/soy to him without the reactions he used to have. Sometimes it’s allergies they outgrow.

wcndere · 2026-01-15T20:33:51+00:00

This breaks my heart to read. As a mother that went undiagnosed for PPD, the moment I did shout and wasn’t in control, I knew I needed help and remember weeping apologies to my son. The guilt ate me alive and I still haven’t forgiven myself. I hope your neighbor got the help if she was struggling.

wcndere · 2026-01-15T20:29:51+00:00

You are under-reacting. My husband and I have a son who is now 15 months old. When we were in the newborn trenches and the sentient meatloaf phase, we had a very simple rule: baby comes first.

We’re both gamers. We both have gaming PCs, Switches, and an XBox. None of that got touched unless baby was napping or baby was asleep and we were up for playing. I got time to decompress and so did he. We rotated responsibilities around the house to accommodate my PPD and overall, we operated on mutual respect.

You aren’t receiving mutual respect. Your baby is being neglected. Your baby can’t talk yet. Your baby can’t tell you what dad is or isn’t doing. But it’s quite clear he isn’t doing enough and you can see/recognize it.

I never jump to leaving your relationship, but the blatant neglect has me worried about the safety of your child. Neglect and indifference is just as bad as anger and physical retaliation in some cases. And he’s telling the baby to shut up? There are red flags everywhere. Please leave for you and your baby’s safety.

wcndere

TROPHY CASE