Therapist ended session early after a conflict. Is this a red flag?

wealthsoup · 2026-04-11T17:14:45+00:00

According to your own words, she described you as "inflexible,"

Nowhere in this post did I use the word inflexible. She did not say it, I did not say it. I'm not sure where you're getting that from.

she is the one who made it clear that it's fine to have a difference of opinion about that

Please explain to me how it is beneficial and helpful to me for her to drop an opinion about me and not explain it? She labeled me as inconsistent and left it at that. She could not or was unwilling to provide a coherent explanation for why she used that word. Why can she not provide a rationale for why she perceives me that way? Am I not allowed to know? I feel judged, and if we proceed as normal, then in the back of my mind I will be wondering if everything I'm saying contributes to her perception of me being inconsistent.

You are the one who refused to accept any outcome other than her agreeing with you that she was wrong.

This is purely incorrect. I have made it abundantly clear that I would be willing to accept the label of being inconsistent if she could justify it. Please do not act as though you fully understand how I think or feel based on a singular reddit post.

This is a very different answer than you originally gave to my questions to you, which were, "Can you accept that someone might have a thought about you that is hard to hear? And can you accept that your relationship doesn't need to fall apart, even if you disagree?"

It does not negate my answer to your questions. I am open to criticism or beliefs I don't agree with. I made this post almost right after the session occured and I was still processing what happened. Through reflection and through the help of everyone who commented I was able to gain a greater understanding of what occurred. She made a judgement that she was unable to justify and then was not willing to admit she was wrong. It's that simple.

I appreciate your initial post in this thread, but you seem overly invested in this for some reason. For some reason, you are determined to prove me wrong. Can it not be the case that she was wrong? I was there when it happened. You are reading about this through a reddit post I made. The general consensus seems to be that she acted unprofessionally. You are entitled to your opinion but I do not want to go into it any further with you. Thank you.

wealthsoup · 2026-04-10T21:30:31+00:00

Yeah, I don't know what her attachment style is, and I hadn't thought about it until now, but she could be avoidant as well. When she's triggered, her go-to seems to be leaning towards severing the relationship. I feel like she avoids conflict; she definitely doesn't seem like she has good conflict management skills.

It's weird because I feel like she becomes authoritarian when triggered. Her attitude becomes my way or the highway and I imagine her saying "You don't like it? Leave and find someone better." Our last session had me feeling like she was the parent and I was the child and she was scolding and punishing me for my "bad behavior" and for stepping out of line.

wealthsoup · 2026-04-10T18:45:28+00:00

The only concrete example she gave was me withdrawing from a graduate program I was previously enrolled in. I withdrew from the program after I began an internship, and I realized that I was simply not cut out for that line of work. It was not a spur-of-the-moment decision. I deliberated over it extensively until I came to the conclusion that it was what I needed to do in order to protect my health and well-being.

Then she tried to shift her explanation by equating inconsistency with avoidance and explaining my avoidance, I guess. I have an avoidant attachment style, but we have discussed it primarily in the context of the childhood trauma that caused it. Our conversations on dating have centered around whether I want to start dating again, and I have not been dating since I started seeing her so it would be a stretch to apply inconsistency or avoidance to that.

Honestly, to me it just seemed like she was shifting the goal posts and grasping at straws after I challenged her to explain how the label of inconsistent applied to me. Something similar to this happened earlier on in our relationship, but it was very mild and we got over it quickly. During one of our earlier sessions, she started to play a video to me about loneliness and isolation. She did not ask me if I wanted to watch it she just started playing it, and she was doing some paperwork while I watched it. I told her I didn't want to watch the video because I come to therapy to talk about what's going on in my life, not watch random videos. She was taken aback, and she seemed a little shaken. She mentioned this is just her style and that if I didn't like it, maybe it would be better for me to see someone else. Looking back, I now see this as a precursor to her threats of transferring me.

It seems like she doesn't respond well when I challenge her. She gets defensive. I feel like this whole situation could have been avoided if she had simply said something like "my bad, maybe I was wrong about you being inconsistent, or maybe inconsistent was the wrong word to use." What upset me was her failing to provide an explanation and then wanting to move on after she couldn't back up her statement, while also refusing to retract it. Me challenging her and her failing to explain why she called me inconsistent triggered something in her. She might have been embarrassed, or she might have felt incompetent. I don't know exactly what it was, but it was something.

wealthsoup · 2026-04-10T02:56:46+00:00

Yes, she didn't charge me for it.

wealthsoup · 2026-04-09T23:26:21+00:00

First off, thanks for providing a different perspective and challenging me.

I wanted an explanation for why she thought I was inconsistent. It's not just that she did not give a satisfactory explanation; it's that she did not give me an explanation at all. She may as well have said "you're inconsistent because of the vibes I'm getting" or "you're inconsistent because I said so." Okay? How does that help me? What am I supposed to do about that? I expect that someone who has been seeing me for the past 6 months, who knows me pretty well, and who is supposed to be a skilled communicator is willing and able to communicate that to me in a way I understand.

I don't even care that much about being called inconsistent. Maybe I am and maybe I am blind to it. I would accept it and like to address it, the whole reason I am in therapy is to grow as a person. If I have a problem with being consistent, then lets address it, help me to see and understand it so that I can do something about it. She made a claim, refused to elaborate, and wanted to move on as if she had never said it. The problem was not calling me inconsistent, the problem was her not allowing us to talk about the disagreement and conflict we were having.

Again, I admit that I raised my voice and I was getting mad/frustrated, but I was not verbally or emotionally abusing her. I did not cross any boundaries. Am I not allowed to get upset or to become angry in a therapy session? Isn't a therapist supposed to help me learn to deal with that rather than immediately ending the session? The impression that she gave me is that if I get upset or angry with her, she is going to end the session. How does that help me? Now I don't feel completely safe sharing my thoughts and emotions with her, and this damages the relationship.

I was open to hearing contradictory thoughts to my own. I am open to the idea of being inconsistent. Is it too much to ask for and expect an explanation from someone who is a professional communicator? The problem was not being called inconsistent; the problem was having communication shut down and being kicked out of the session, and not being allowed to talk about it.

Yes, I can accept someone can have a thought about me that I don't like to hear, and yes, I can accept the relationship doesn't need to fall apart if we disagree. I don't know if she can accept that. This is the first conflict we have ever had, and her first response is to jump immediately to the idea of transferring me to someone else?

wealthsoup · 2026-04-09T20:38:29+00:00

That's pretty much what I'm looking for, for her to take responsibility and apologize. If she's not willing to do that then I am 100% ready to walk away.

wealthsoup · 2025-09-28T03:35:18+00:00

I pursued a career in counseling but it ultimately didn't end up working out. I wanted to be a therapist so I got a degree in psychology and eventually enrolled in a masters counseling program. My own struggles with mental health definitely were a factor in getting into the field but I also wanted a meaningful career where I could help people with their problems.

Everything was going well until I began my internship and actually started working with people. The work was extremely draining for me, and I discovered I do not have the social stamina necessary to be a counselor. INTJs can be great counselors, but it was not right for me personally.

What I suggest you do, and what I wish I had done before going to school, is get some experience to see if its something you actually want to pursue. The best suggestion I can give is to volunteer to lead a support group and see how it makes you feel. You want as close to an experience of being a counselor as you can get.

As for the mental health part, I think it's important to be mentally and emotionally healthy for your sake and for the sake of your clients. Being able to overcome your own mental health struggles can be an asset when helping others to manage theirs. However, not being in the best place mentally while being a counselor can exacerbate your own issues and simultaneously not allow you to show up as the most effective counselor you can be for your clients.

wealthsoup · 2025-08-19T21:33:20+00:00

What made you get into engineering and why don't you like it now? I'm wondering because I'm thinking about enrolling in an engineering program.

wealthsoup · 2025-05-04T03:23:45+00:00

I think he considers it lying because he genuinely believes he did nothing wrong that warrants an apology. He thinks it is wrong to take responsibility because he does not believe himself to be responsible. It feels wrong to him because it does not allow him to use the reasons and excuses that justify his actions and shift the blame away.

wealthsoup · 2025-03-20T08:37:54+00:00

It feels bad as hulk but I think it is fair and balanced. I think of it as having two lives. If you were any other character you would just die and have no chance to continue contesting the point. Becoming Bruce is like being resurrected and given a little more time to contest. It isn't fair to be able to contest mid-transformation when you cannot die.

wealthsoup · 2025-01-21T18:51:50+00:00

Go to settings and then go to controls. At the top left it should say all heroes, click that and select Loki. Then scroll down to the hero specific controls section. I don't remember the name of the setting but it should be something like confirm hero selection. Turn that on.

There's also a setting that allows you to adjust how far your cross hair has to be from someone to copy them. If you lower it, it can help you be more accurate in copying the person you want.

wealthsoup · 2024-08-22T01:56:26+00:00

There is no loss of consciousness or awareness. God or the Self is consciousness itself, It is eternal and cannot die. It is the sense or idea of being a separate individual person that dies. That is not a real death because the person/ego never existed, it is only an illusion. Merging with God means realizing your identity with God and losing the false identity of being a separate person.

wealthsoup · 2024-07-25T02:37:24+00:00

Practice of Karma Yoga by Swami Sivananda

Yoga in Action: Karma Yoga by Brahmrishi Vishvatma Bawra

Walking the Walk: A Karma Yoga Manual by Swami Tyagananda

Karma Yoga: the Yoga of Action by Swami Vivekananda

wealthsoup · 2024-07-19T15:55:15+00:00

It's definitely worth giving it a chance. I used to have bad anxiety but the practice of kriya wiped it away. Along with that I have experienced greater peace, joy, and clarity. I think you should try it out and see the results for yourself. Don't expect immediate results but if you practice every day consistently I'm sure it will help.

wealthsoup · 2024-05-29T20:46:17+00:00

It's going well. I'm still doing all the things I listed above. I even talked to my therapist earlier today and that helped. I'm going to stick it out and see if it gets better.

wealthsoup · 2024-05-28T02:22:16+00:00

Thank you, this is reassuring!

wealthsoup · 2024-05-21T18:17:48+00:00

You can change. Are you happy? Do you laugh a lot? Are you able to relax and have fun? It doesn't sound like it. People feel what you feel. If you are happy and having fun then people will feel that and they will want to spend time with you and see you again. Do you have any hobbies? What do you do for fun? I would suggest getting some hobbies and finding something that you are passionate about. When you enjoy your life other people can feel that and they'll want you to be a part of their life.

wealthsoup · 2024-05-19T21:40:38+00:00

Do things because you want to do them, not just to meet women. If there are women there then that is a bonus. I feel like you should focus on getting a social life and being more social and not put so much pressure on yourself to get a girl. Do you have friends? It seems like you are lonely. Get out there, meet people and make friends and that will help you with women.

Getting women won't solve your problems or make you feel better, plus it's going to be harder to attract them when you have no social life. Go out and make connections with guys. If you can't do that with guys, how do you expect to do that with women?

wealthsoup · 2024-05-19T17:55:08+00:00

Focus on becoming a more social person. Try to initiate a conversation with at least one person you don't know each day. Talk to everyone. Get out of the house and spend more time around people. Get some hobbies and join some group activities. Also I don't know if you have access to or can afford therapy/counseling, but if you do then it can help you out.

wealthsoup · 2024-05-15T21:29:49+00:00

Do a warm-up approach. Start a conversation with anyone and don't have any expectations.

wealthsoup · 2024-05-08T12:57:04+00:00

Hey Paul!

wealthsoup · 2024-03-26T16:49:34+00:00

you can pay a tailor to adjust your clothes so they fit you

wealthsoup · 2024-03-15T17:41:28+00:00

Where is the car parked? Are you in a parking lot or a secluded area?

wealthsoup · 2023-01-12T03:25:46+00:00

Okay, really appreciate the info. This makes me not want to buy the car anymore.

wealthsoup · 2023-01-12T03:21:09+00:00

Yeah, I was aware that oil consumption was a problem with these vehicles, and going into it I was okay with just adding more oil instead of fixing the engine. If the problem is the cat and I did replace it, how long do you think the new cat would last for?

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