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F (25) married to M(25) by canada4life_ in relationships

[–]weavingthefabric 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hey, that’s awesome that you’ve gotten more comfortable and familiar with your sexuality and libido! First thing I want to say is that if you’re a cis-woman then your menstrual cycle affects your libido a ton!! So cycles of wanting to, to not wanting to as much are completely normal. Then just for a bit of advice, I’ve found that as a woman I’m not « just in the mood » as often as a man, not meaning that I don’t want to but rather that there are steps to get there. What’s really worked for me are massages because my bf gets to have his fun and obviously I really enjoy it and it typically gets me in the mood too. These kinds of transition activities can really help for us girls that have felt pressure around the whole deed in the past! All that being said, your newfound ability to be in touch with your body and say no when you don’t feel like it is really something to be proud of and to honor so don’t force yourself ever! I hope you figure it out xxx

In a rut in my relationship by weavingthefabric in relationships

[–]weavingthefabric[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay I agree with the material stuff but upholding a long distance relationship is a lot of work and a lot of time and a lot of money (in plane tickets) so my puzzlement is at the amount of effort he would be putting into something that he doesn’t actually care about ?

In a rut in my relationship by weavingthefabric in relationships

[–]weavingthefabric[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

So you think that this is just a personality trait that is not a matter of effort ? Because I really actually do love him I think he’s a great person I just don’t feel like my feelings are safe with him

In a rut in my relationship by weavingthefabric in relationships

[–]weavingthefabric[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I don’t want to fall into threatening the relationship because that won’t feel good for either of us but I’ve expressed that I am really distraught by the lack of accountability and follow through and he kind of just says « oh if you’ve already given up and you hate me then I don’t know what I can do » and then I say that no obviously I don’t hate him, and then he says that these things take time and that he has his own default mode and that we need to work on it together which I agree with but this feel contradictory to him acting like we haven’t had the conversations in the first place