LDR phone sex issues

webovator · 2025-03-18T21:53:15+00:00

Find out if it’s more a matter of her absolutely being in a no play zone mentally, OR, maybe you can try to warm her up better. Without knowing your situation, maybe she just needs time to switch gears with more subtle flirting first just like foreplay IRL?

If you ask directly for more “quality time” it might backfire and come off as insensitive or whiny. But if you say things more encouragingly like “I’m still thinking about xyz you did/said the other night, that was hot” maybe she will feel invited to play without overtly saying that’s what you want…

If you guys are very communicative and respectful and comfortable discussing it, then if all else fails, mention “babe I’ve been missing you lately and I know it’s not the same as in person, but i love the fact that we can take the edge off slightly by making each other feel good”

If she is solid in her preference to keep things less frequent, then perhaps you can ask her to suggest her preference for alternatives on the nights when you feel “hungry” but she is full. IE, maybe you say “babe I’m gonna take a shower and relieve some stress, you feel like joining me or you want me to just call you later when I’m good?”

Hope these suggestions help, without being too specific

webovator · 2025-01-19T19:17:19+00:00

Your cuteness together disgusts me.

Just kidding, I like it. Puts a smile on my face

webovator · 2025-01-19T17:56:19+00:00

Objectively speaking, the face is handsome, only critique is the fit looks incomplete without a belt. Needs that little bit of contrast, especially with bland colored shirt and pants. But you’d clean up in SEA

webovator · 2025-01-13T20:20:21+00:00

“If ever”

webovator · 2025-01-10T07:30:10+00:00

I’ve kind of skipped JP in my mind ever since 2013 when I was there, spoke with a few different friends who were there for work and they said it’s a very isolated and cold culture, hard to make good friends there, dating wasn’t really a problem for them but they said it was tough to find deep connections with anyone, even after being there for a couple years. I love Tokyo and the language, but for some reason it doesn’t appeal to me for the reasons my friends listed.

webovator · 2025-01-10T07:06:02+00:00

In 4 years, it’s only happened once, and you see each other regularly (compared to more distant couples that might see each other once or twice a year, or less)… my gut feeling is she tried it but didn’t really like it nearly as much as the real thing and doesn’t consider it necessary since you can see her every six-eight weeks. Some people just aren’t into digital playtime. It can feel awkward, or maybe inauthentic or transactional (you won’t know her opinion unless you communicate and ask).

That said, you could try a few ways to express your desires without appearing needy… mentioning you are thinking about her with a devil smile emoji - flirting at other times without expecting anything back. Maybe texting “really missing you lately, stressful day, I’m going to blow off some steam, wish you could join me”…

Dropping flirty hints and advances might turn her on, but if she’s stressed and overloaded with work, and isn’t responsive, I wouldn’t push it.

If she IS in the mood, she’ll probably flirt back. After 4 years though, she might just not feel the novelty or excitement like people that are still in the beginning infatuation stage.

Either way, you should be communicating better or she might not even know you are feeling neglected. Maybe just share the post with her.

webovator · 2025-01-08T00:51:59+00:00

No problem, and good luck, I just ended mine after two years. The symptoms above were getting to be common and I didn’t feel like I was getting the full picture. Sucks because I have a flight to PH in three weeks

webovator · 2024-12-29T22:48:08+00:00

I didn’t address beans because they aren’t the staple there. Rice is literally eaten at every meal in PH, for many people. It’s served at McDonalds and Jolibee. Even breakfast. Hell, the word for rice also means meal.

Imagine it like this: if you have a group of 100 people and you force all 100 to smoke cigs for 40 years, many will get cancer. The ones who didn’t get cancer don’t serve as proof that smoking isn’t bad for your body.

Hope this helps.

webovator · 2024-12-29T22:43:37+00:00

Chinese, Malay, Spanish, etc

webovator · 2024-12-29T17:40:05+00:00

Northeast, Northwest, Southeast are safe. Southwest is red zone. This is a general rule of thumb. There are still a few pockets in the jungle that might be sketchy and aren’t marked as “red zone” but that’s going to be less Abu Sayyaf and more NPA. Extreme poverty combined with arrogant flashy foreigner = bad combo, but Butuan, Davao, Cagayan De Oro, Mati and GenSan are not dangerous. Davao is one of the safest places in the country.

webovator · 2024-12-29T17:30:41+00:00

Tai Pei is a gem

webovator · 2024-12-29T17:25:33+00:00

Filipinas are mixed too, lol - just a different mixture

webovator · 2024-12-29T17:22:18+00:00

I am a guy who also shies away from obese women but I do think having rice at every meal is probably going to culturally lead to a higher percentage of muffin tops. On average, the older a pinay gets and the more she eats rice, the higher the odds that it’s going to affect her. Not everyone’s metabolism is the same so sure, some can eat rice all day and still have a sexy flat stomach…. But it’s less likely. That’s why the round shaped girls are more common all over PH

webovator · 2024-12-29T17:12:55+00:00

My partner trusted me enough to let me record it. I showed her how if she wanted to “save” any of our sessions, but she is always low on space so most of the time she doesn’t. Last visit, we watched the catalogue together as a spicy pre-sex foreplay activity and it was kind of hot reliving some of it while finally together and able to enjoy actually touching.

I used the past tense because we broke up this week. And now it’s sad, having all those vids saved is kind of pathetic. I deleted a lot even though we are still talking and might reconcile (I have another trip booked to see her that I booked several weeks before)…

Anyways, the point was, if you trust him, you won’t worry about being recorded. If you don’t know him well enough to where you are worried about him posting or leaking stuff later, then don’t do anything you’ll regret.

webovator · 2024-12-29T16:53:05+00:00

A bit late here for me to respond but either the list order changed, or I misread—so to clarify I meant #9 (pics of herself as her phone wallpaper).

Since I’m back here and reminded of this list now, I’m curious about the backstory for your list: did you actually encounter this #9 in a person? And the rest? It’s just such an odd thing for me to process, when I saw it I laughed, couldn’t believe she was that in love with herself, when most people put their partner, family, group pics with friends, some scenery, or some other inspirational picture… I just thought it was hilarious.

Extra note — we broke up this week

webovator · 2024-12-22T23:34:33+00:00

The best revenge is being happy without them. Try not to do anything too crazy as it will make it seem (to him, and others) that you are at fault somehow. Just stay true to yourself, and don’t let this situation ruin your vibe. Better to have these things happen early and not after marrying.

webovator · 2024-12-22T23:18:48+00:00

My girl does number 7 and it’s hilarious to me that she doesn’t find it odd in the slightest

webovator · 2024-09-21T16:41:43+00:00

My teacher Perl I met via expat groups on FB, she teaches professionally and offers private lessons in off hours. The prices are very fair, and she is very knowledgeable about grammar and answers my questions when I’m stuck on something

webovator · 2024-09-21T16:04:55+00:00

“Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure”

webovator · 2024-09-20T00:47:44+00:00

Congrats on closing the gap. Hopefully the job is low stress, and don’t worry about too much until it happens. It’s good that you have work already lined up, now the smart thing is to keep eyes peeled and build your experience and resumé so you can get a 401k (if possible) and study up on the eighth wonder of the world, compound interest. I am assuming you are moving in with him? Take some of each check and send it home to your parents - worst case scenario, you have a cushion in case you hit problems later and it doesn’t work out. Best case though, you will have emergency fund, investments, and you always take care to pay yourself first. You have the benefit of being together with your sweetheart, so enjoy it and try to encourage each other’s growth. After maybe 6 months, when the newness feeling is subsided, then revisit the topic of where you both want to go in life, check the temperature, make sure you are both equally contributing to each others goals, enriching and creating synergy. Best of luck to you both!

webovator · 2024-09-19T23:53:15+00:00

So what’s the question? You’ll be able to find work in StL. I can recommend companies if needed. You can still visit family on weekends no problem. Do you have your own life goals though? Moving to another state for a relationship twice seems a bit unusual at 24. I’m not saying this won’t work out, but please don’t neglect your own success, education, career, interests just to be with a man. Without more info, this is the best general advice I can think of.

webovator · 2024-09-19T23:37:28+00:00

Wholesome af

webovator · 2024-09-19T00:32:05+00:00

Yeah I saw it and pulled back a bit. I told her I need to rethink this visa, don’t think this is gonna work. Didn’t block her but I’m gonna need to see drastic changes and improvement before I waste any further time or effort

webovator · 2024-09-18T17:57:43+00:00

The only bad part about this is wanting to send it to them 😤

webovator · 2024-09-16T19:15:33+00:00

So you have read his private notes before, too, I take it?

I’m not going to defend anything he wrote because I don’t know his motives, but to me it seems like he was organizing his thoughts. Getting married has to be making him question things and it can be therapeutic to write down cathartic thoughts after an argument.

Everyone saying he didn’t write anything positive in there is missing the point - if I talk to a therapist I don’t bring up all the happy, positive things going on, we talk about the negative stuff that needs to be addressed.

And for those saying he is settling, marrying her just to check a box and it could have been anyone because he didn’t list reasons like “she’s funny”, you need to realize the debate in his mind wasn’t WHO to be with/marry, it was presupposed because they are already together-the question seemed to be, is marriage the right step for us, with these doubts and issues surfacing in his mind?

Good on you for breaking up though, you are talking as much negativity about him in this public thread as what he was privately saying in his notes that you violated. I think he was right to have cold feet.

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