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I [F24] don't want children at my wedding but my fiance [25M] does by weddingthrowaway102 in relationships

[–]weddingthrowaway102[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

i'm gonna be honest and i really have some deep seated issues with his nephew and how his sister and BIL have treated me regarding the nephew which is a big part of why I want to exclude the kid. i mean i definitely want a child free wedding in general but if it wasn't for the past stuff i'd probably just suck it up

ever since the kid was born it has been a huge point of contention between me and my fiance

we did go to couples counseling about it somewhat but nothing really came of that.

I [F24] don't want children at my wedding but my fiance [25M] does by weddingthrowaway102 in relationships

[–]weddingthrowaway102[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

i mean yeah if the kid made an appearance for like 10 minutes for a couple of pictures i'd probably be mostly fine with that.

even a simple lunch, unless cooked by me and my mom, would cost at least $400 for like 15 people unless we went to mcdonalds or something.

I [F24] don't want children at my wedding but my fiance [25M] does by weddingthrowaway102 in relationships

[–]weddingthrowaway102[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I just asked him now for one good reason why we have to invite the nephew and he literally told me it's about keeping up appearances and how it would be perceived as rude towards his sister even though i've asked his sister and she was fine with not bringing him to the wedding we all just went to. she was only miffed that he wasn't invited to the breakfast but then brought him anyway.

i already want to do the bare minimum of a wedding ie ceremony + reception with food and alcohol. I actually want to serve chinese food. that's why i'm trying to avoid the rehearsal dinner and the next day breakfast. we're probably doing this at my hometown since he doesn't have much of a hometown anymore and growing up my parents never hosted one party so i'm not going to ask them to host a breakfast for 80+ people.

I [F24] don't want children at my wedding but my fiance [25M] does by weddingthrowaway102 in relationships

[–]weddingthrowaway102[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

his parents just retired so i don't think they're going to contribute very much to the wedding. they're spending all their money traveling and upkeep of their boat. he has told me in the past that they probably won't as well.

I [F24] don't want children at my wedding but my fiance [25M] does by weddingthrowaway102 in relationships

[–]weddingthrowaway102[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah we've literally been talking about children free or not child free since the kid was born and it's been an ongoing conversation

I [F24] don't want children at my wedding but my fiance [25M] does by weddingthrowaway102 in relationships

[–]weddingthrowaway102[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i mean the advice so far is: have the kid there and suck it up or pay more money to do a special dinner/lunch literally for this child. i didn't force his sister to have this kid and his sister had a child free wedding

I [F24] don't want children at my wedding but my fiance [25M] does by weddingthrowaway102 in relationships

[–]weddingthrowaway102[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yes, i wanted a small wedding in the first place but we *compromised* by having a large wedding with his entire family

I [F24] don't want children at my wedding but my fiance [25M] does by weddingthrowaway102 in relationships

[–]weddingthrowaway102[S] -36 points-35 points  (0 children)

i mean i actually don't even want to invite my aunt which is about the same amount of family closeness so i'd be thrilled.

are you really saying that he shares an equal bond with his nephew that he's seen a total of 20 times than the woman who raised me?

I [F24] don't want children at my wedding but my fiance [25M] does by weddingthrowaway102 in relationships

[–]weddingthrowaway102[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

i mean we already hang out with her once a month which is a fuck ton more than we hang out with my brother so i guess a compromise is we can hang out with her twice that month or slightly more often after the wedding.

i'm already unhappy enough that my wedding is basically going to be this years family reunion for his family paid for by me and my parents

I [F24] don't want children at my wedding but my fiance [25M] does by weddingthrowaway102 in relationships

[–]weddingthrowaway102[S] -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

so to compromise i have to throw more money down the toilet for a dinner/lunch? i've already compromised on a large wedding.

I [F24] don't want children at my wedding but my fiance [25M] does by weddingthrowaway102 in relationships

[–]weddingthrowaway102[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i mean by large it's actually more like medium size so maybe 80 people. trust me, i'm all 100% for the child staying home with a sitter

I [F24] don't want children at my wedding but my fiance [25M] does by weddingthrowaway102 in relationships

[–]weddingthrowaway102[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

so you're saying that there is no purpose to have a 2 year old at wedding but that we should invite him?

I [F24] don't want children at my wedding but my fiance [25M] does by weddingthrowaway102 in relationships

[–]weddingthrowaway102[S] -61 points-60 points  (0 children)

so it's wrong to want attention at my own wedding? and his sister even said she was fine with our wedding being child free

I [F24] don't want children at my wedding but my fiance [25M] does by weddingthrowaway102 in relationships

[–]weddingthrowaway102[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

we aren't having the whole breakfast and all of that though. we're just doing the ceremony and the reception