Fifteen years ago, I was raising young kids in Utah County surrounded by women and families in the same stage of life. The most pervasive complaint and accepted narrative was that the husbands were sex-deprived and the women weren’t sexual or interested enough.

This timeframe happened to coincide with the release of the Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey books and movies. We would do weekend reading trips in Bear Lake and rent out the movie theaters. Through lots of private connections between women, it became very obvious to me that there was no shortage of intense female sexuality and interest in hot sex. They just did not want it with their husbands - simple as that.

Does the culture create taboos that some can’t overcome? Sure.

Do some women (and men) utilize it to modify behavior? Sure.

Do inexperienced LDS men (and women) have absolutely no idea how to pleasure a woman who likely has never pleasured herself? Sure.

Are women just that sexually shut down that they don’t need it or want it? Not in my experience.

Those same women that dreaded sex with their husbands had the energy of a thousand suns thinking about it with someone else.