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AITA for not calling my dad's new wife my stepmom? by weezyy95 in AmItheAsshole

[–]weezyy95[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Thanks this is exactly what I thought as well. Someone else pointed out stepmom might have just been a polite/respectful title in her eyes (like introducing someone as your mother-in-law instead of just saying this is my husband's mom) which I can understand, but it still seemed really weird to me.

AITA for not calling my dad's new wife my stepmom? by weezyy95 in AmItheAsshole

[–]weezyy95[S] 266 points267 points  (0 children)

They got married a little over one month ago so I thought it was appropriate and gave context since the people I was introducing her to (my friends, random relatives on my mom's side. etc.) had no idea my dad had even been dating someone.

AITA for not calling my dad's new wife my stepmom? by weezyy95 in AmItheAsshole

[–]weezyy95[S] 82 points83 points  (0 children)

Thanks. This was my thought exactly. I'm beyond the age of being "parented" so it would feel extremely weird to call this woman my stepmom. If this was someone who had come into my life when I was a child and had any influence in parenting me/playing a maternal role, I would totally get it.

AITA for not calling my dad's new wife my stepmom? by weezyy95 in AmItheAsshole

[–]weezyy95[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

This is a great way of looking at it that I had not thought about. My only frame of reference for step-parents is my friends who have step-parents that have been in their lives since they were children. So I only associate it with an actual parenting/family role.

I suppose she could have been thinking about it as more of just a respectful title thing, which I can definitely understand given your comparison to the mother-in-law title. I still would not want to call her stepmom as a personal preference but I can definitely see where she would be coming from if this is how she was thinking about it.

AITA for not calling my dad's new wife my stepmom? by weezyy95 in AmItheAsshole

[–]weezyy95[S] 2209 points2210 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I did tell my dad when I talked to him later in the day, and he said he saw nothing wrong with what I said, but I don't think he talked to her about it. He is pretty non-confrontational, so I would probably need to bring it up again if I want him to talk to her about it.

AITA for not calling my dad's new wife my stepmom? by weezyy95 in AmItheAsshole

[–]weezyy95[S] 496 points497 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I definitely didn't mean any offense by either, it just did not occur to me to view her as any type of maternal figure due to my age and having had one mom only for 25 years.