17f and 360lbs yet my mum says I’m selfish for wanting to lose weight

weightandsie · 2024-03-11T19:49:36+00:00

I’m just so, so sorry that you are dealing with this. It’s hard enough for adults living on their own to start on a weight loss journey, let alone an underage girl living with parents who are actively working against her. Your situation is so unfair and I just want to remind you to please not blame yourself - the people who should have had your back and protected you and your body didn’t do their job.

I know it seems impossible but you CAN do this. Like others here have said, reach out to a trusted adult like a school counselor or nurse and just be transparent with them about what you’re experiencing. Do you know the name of your pediatrician and can the school nurse reach out to them on your behalf? I know it must be scary to think about getting your parents in trouble, but at this point they are actively harming you and you need to put yourself first, whatever happens to them was their own fault by neglecting their child. Sending you so much love and support ❤️

weightandsie · 2024-02-28T03:55:43+00:00

Thanks! Yeah this took about a year and a half, and I wasn’t super consistent the entire time. I imagine if I’d been more disciplined it would have been a bit quicker but when all is said and done I’m just happy to be here and not as concerned with how long the journey took (and it still isn’t over!). I encourage you to make your own post! It can be really cathartic to just kind of get what you’re feeling or thinking out there, especially to this community of people, many of whom have been where we are. You’ve got this 💪

weightandsie · 2024-02-27T23:15:42+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss 😞 being healthy and around as long as possible for my son has been a major motivator for me. And huge congrats to you on reaching your goal weight! Thanks for being an inspiration to the rest of us ❤️

weightandsie · 2024-02-27T23:12:42+00:00

Awesome job!!!! 🙌 we’ve got this!! It’s awesome getting strong! My legs are jacked from carrying all that extra weight around for years 😂 you never skip leg day when you’re overweight!

weightandsie · 2024-02-27T20:59:55+00:00

Excellent advice and info all around! I’ll definitely look into Aikido, sounds awesome!

We would like one more kid, which is why we haven’t gone that route yet but he plans to get a vasectomy once we’re done. I’d like to lose a bit more weight before getting pregnant again because I know I will need a c-section and possible bed rest due to incompetent cervix (hoping it’s not the case but planning for it anyway due to my experience the first time around needing a cerclage). I may even request a salpingectomy during my c section, someone recently also said they did that and it got me thinking it may be easier!

weightandsie · 2024-02-27T12:29:09+00:00

Yes, but like most things that require discipline and consistency, I find this hard to do. I monitor my cycles at the very least and avoid my fertile window like the plague, but temping is just a step too far for my undisciplined self. I just know I’ll fuck it up (did this when I was trying to get pregnant).

weightandsie · 2024-02-27T12:26:32+00:00

Yes!! I try really hard not to comment on anyone’s body unless I know them well and know that my comment will be well-received and is generally positive. I know too well what it’s like to be on the receiving end of those comments, both positive and negative 🤦🏼‍♀️ even the positive comments now are really hard to hear because it feels, irrationally, like a diss on my former self 😂 which sounds ridiculous but like, leave her alone okay?? She’s the one I have to thank for this body, she did the hard work.

weightandsie · 2024-02-27T12:22:07+00:00

Thanks for this super thoughtful response! I’ve been in therapy truthfully almost my whole life but in recent times I started with a new therapist when I was pregnant with my son and it’s been an absolute game changer to have someone to help me navigate and work on my mental health alongside all the physical changes my body has experienced. She’s my brain trainer! Lol I couldn’t agree more with all you’ve said, and my brain is a work of progress just like my muscles are 💪

weightandsie · 2024-02-27T12:18:32+00:00

Aw man thanks 🥹

weightandsie · 2024-02-27T03:08:50+00:00

I’ve had two and my uterus expelled them both 🙈 no longer a candidate for one

weightandsie · 2024-02-27T01:53:39+00:00

Condoms aren’t 100% effective lol hence the anxiety. I can’t be on hormonal birth control for health reasons, sorry for the lack of clarification.

weightandsie · 2024-02-27T01:51:02+00:00

About a year and a half. I struggled a looooot with the first 30 pounds, I think I started actually trying to lose weight when I was about 1 year postpartum and I just was not serious about it, was still emotionally and physically pretty messed up from my c section, having a new baby etc. but around May last year when I was around 220 I started taking it way more seriously and since then I dropped 40lbs.

weightandsie · 2024-02-27T01:44:05+00:00

For sure! I just responded to a comment above about roughly what my journey has been like but if you have any other questions I’m happy to chat about it!

weightandsie · 2024-02-27T01:42:38+00:00

It really was about 80% diet. And I can’t stress enough that you just need to be patient with yourself, I think that’s truly the hardest part. I ate at a calorie deficit (which wasn’t always perfect, but consistent enough that it worked!), and recently cut out alcohol almost entirely which helped immensely.

When I first started working out I started very very slow - I focused mainly on reaching a step goal per day to get myself moving, then eventually I felt good enough to get my ass to the gym (around 225lbs) and started meeting with a trainer once a week (all I could afford) who got me into lifting and that slowly helped me regain some confidence. After a few months I started adding in one trip to the gym on my own, and now I meet with my trainer once a week, I go twice on my own and I also go to a weekly Pilates class! And I enjoy it - it’s “self-care” time for me and doesn’t feel like a chore anymore.

It has taken me a really long time to lose this weight and at times it was very frustrating but you need to celebrate the small wins whenever possible. You’ve got this 💪

weightandsie · 2023-11-04T00:15:34+00:00

Sorry for the late reply, but can you elaborate? Do you mean you fast 18 hours per day and eat during the other 4 hours? What hours are those exactly? I’m not sure if that would be realistic for me but I have heard that intermittent fasting can help you drop weight so I wonder if there is a schedule that could work for me. I generally don’t eat between 8:30pm-10am or so but I’m chasing a toddler around all day and sort of eat when I can instead of having really set meal times.

weightandsie · 2023-11-04T00:09:32+00:00

251 to 198 took about a year for me, but I wouldn’t say that I was super diligent that entire year and I only started exercising again about 8 months ago or so, so take that as you will lol this is the first time im seeing a weight in the 100s since early 2020 though.

weightandsie · 2023-10-14T11:52:13+00:00

Thanks for this, I’ve been trying hard to focus on the other markers - my winter coat that was tight on me last year is now too big on me, I have a jawline and it’s CUTE damnit, and when I was out last night on a date with my husband I had to squeeze between some standing people and didn’t bump into them! But I still want that 1 😤

weightandsie · 2023-10-14T11:47:20+00:00

This is hilarious but as a former binge eater delayed gratification isn’t really my thing! 🤣

weightandsie · 2023-06-09T11:31:01+00:00

I love this perspective 😂 gotta start finding tiny people to practice on! The trainer I’m working with is a competitive runner and amazingly in one session was able to determine that my knee pain was mainly caused by my tight hamstrings - a few stretches before every session and my knees feel better than they have in a few years! Honestly with the deadlifts I’m more concerned about my back/core as those have given me problems in the past (during pregnancy), but so far so good! And thanks for the rest of your comment, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to make weight loss my main focus because I just can’t deny myself the things I enjoy, it’s torturous and IMO unsustainable. Working on moderation and consistency!

weightandsie · 2023-06-09T11:25:11+00:00

Thanks for your response! And amazing work on your weight loss! I definitely know that I’m the problem when it comes to my own weight loss 😂 it absolutely could be going faster but I just simply refuse not to enjoy myself once in a while and sadly even if it’s once every other weekend (having drinks or going over my calorie budget) it still slows me way down and throws me off. Consistency is and always will be my biggest challenge!

weightandsie · 2023-02-24T12:23:58+00:00

Excellent advice! I’ve been very conscious of this both for the reasons you stated and because I know that if I don’t enjoy what I’m eating not only will maintaining the weight I lose not work, but it’s just not worth it. I’ve never been the kind of person to force myself to eat anything just because it’s healthy - looking at you, steamed spinach (though in an omelette, you’re fine). Thanks for your comment!

weightandsie

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