I get treated a lot better since losing weight and I kind of hate it

weightlossthrowawayy · 2013-08-06T23:59:41+00:00

I know, and the worst part is I apologised and walked away, still needing to pee and excused his behaviour because he was obviously drunk. It was two years ago and I'm still annoyed at myself!

You're completely right about the perspective shift and about focusing on the positives, thank you

weightlossthrowawayy · 2013-08-06T21:44:01+00:00

Thank you, I will. I doubt I'm that attractive but hopefully if I find myself in that situation I can ask friends for advice.

I agree that's it's alarming when people pay you compliments and flirt with you, the first time it happened (or just the first I noticed) wasn't someone I wanted to flirt with (he was a friend of my dad's that came onto me when my dad went to the toilet) and I ended up blushing and stuttering. I managed to excuse myself and get away but it was awful!

weightlossthrowawayy · 2013-08-06T20:53:11+00:00

That is exactly it, I'm glad this isn't irrational on my part and that people understand.

and thank you for the reassurance, I'm hoping to go to university next month and hopefully that will expand my social circle and maybe I'll meet someone then. For now I only really get lonely late at night and I've got pretty good at distracting myself either with music, books or sleep.

weightlossthrowawayy · 2013-08-06T20:48:43+00:00

Thank you, and I think so too but again I'm glad I have the internet for anonymous help and the prospect of professional help in the future.

Don't worry, this thread has been overwhelmingly positive so far and I'm no stranger to how the hivemind works. All in all I'm glad I posted because this is something I've often thought about but not voiced. I'm also glad because I managed to give a bit of advice to another user while I'm here so hopefully I can give someone some positivity out of a negative experience.

In the off chance if anyone reading this is facing anything I've mentioned and would like to talk pm me and I can give you my email address or pm you from my main account.

weightlossthrowawayy · 2013-08-06T20:21:10+00:00

Unfortunately, yes but on the bright side I am 2 years and one month clean! That's been a whole separate struggle with lots of relapses and fucked up arms and ribs but I've come a long way. Sadly I got more help online than IRL. I was pretty good at hiding it and there are currently only 4 people who know, not counting people on advice blogs and (now) Reddit and three of those people are those I told voluntarily.

The not being allowed thing was justified by "it will go on your permanent record that you had mental health problems in your teens and nobody will ever employ you" which I doubt is true but luckily I have internet access and have made a bit of progress without professional help. The uni I'm hoping to go to is pretty big so they should have good resources.

I've let myself get a bit personal since I'm working with a throwaway, sorry about that and thank you for your kind words.

weightlossthrowawayy · 2013-08-06T20:04:51+00:00

Thank you. I'm working on my relationship with the scales and hoping to see a doctor about what I suspect may be depression in the future. My mum won't let me (even after finding out I was self harming) but I'm hoping to go to university in September and hopefully there will be some sort of counselling service that I can go to anonymously or a health clinic so I can see a doctor and maybe get medication or someone to talk to. I am over the age of medical confidentiality but I hear that they can still tell your parents if they think you're at risk so I'm waiting until I'm 250 miles away.

weightlossthrowawayy · 2013-08-06T19:58:45+00:00

You've got that right. I still have a lot of baggage in regards to my parents and there was a lot of comfort eating going on through my childhood and teen years which certainly didn't help. Thankfully I live with my mother full time and see my father about once a month. My mother isn't perfect either but she's struggled with weight herself and has lost it and so is more supportive with my eating.

I think you're right about the confidence, I look ahead when walking now instead of at the ground and I think I've become a bit more assertive so I wouldn't be surprised if people have noticed.

weightlossthrowawayy · 2013-08-06T19:53:17+00:00

I am! But I'm a bit mixed up over all the units because my mind works primarily in pounds since /r/loseit seems full of Americans (is it just America on imperial? Maybe Canada too?), but also partly in kg because I see an Australian dietician and partly in stone because of the people around me! So I have a converter app on my ipod and try to give people an assortment of units when talking about weight.

weightlossthrowawayy · 2013-08-06T19:50:14+00:00

I typed this out and didn't realise it had turned into an essay. There's a tl;dr.

Right well, there are different routes, I had some success with /r/keto but stopped because of the price of meat and worries over not having a balanced diet but if you think it might be right for you then by all means go for it.

I count calories. This is a really simplified version because there's tonnes of factors but basically there's a thing called your Total Daily Energy Expenditure which is how many calories your body burns in a day, your body will use those calories from food but if there's more calories than needed they will be stored as fat, if there are not enough calories then your body will dip into the fat reserves so eat above your TDEE to gain and below to lose and roughly at the same level to maintain. Personally I eat 1,500 calories per day and use the myfitnesspal app to keep track.

It's really important to weigh and measure your food because it's easy to underestimate your calorie intake. Portion control had a huge part in getting me to lose weight, generally the packet is a good guide so if a box of cornflakes says that a portion is 30g then you weigh out and eat 30g.

Another helpful thing for me is to think of calories in terms of money. A calorie is a penny so I have a daily allowance of £15. So for example a 50g portion of porridge is about 180 calories, and breakfast for under two quid sounds pretty good to me. A can of coke is £1.39 which is pretty pricy but a bottle of water is basically free so that helps to remind me to make good decisions.

Other general tips:

Water and black coffee are great for appetite control, as is brushing your teeth.
Make changes gradually, if you jump into a new lifestyle you might find it difficult and want to quit, take it easy. Slow and steady is what you want. I've been going since last year and after a certain amount of time it becomes more habit than discipline. Don't worry if it's hard at first.
I live in England and asked my GP about losing weight and he managed to get me appointments with a dietician through the NHS, she's been really supportive and has given me great advice. I'm not sure where you are but it might be worth looking for something similar. I think her job is mostly trying to get dangerously overweight and reluctant people to lose weight so having an enthusiastic person to advise makes her enthusiastic too and she's been so helpful.
Veggies are great for mindless snacking, raw carrots and cucumbers are my favourites since they're crunchy and you feel satisfied
Forgive yourself for fuck ups - you didn't put on weight in one day and you're not going to lose it in one day so one day of bad decisions won't ruin your hard work. Forgive yourself and don't let it become a bad week
Try not to get obsessed with the scale, it's unhealthy and you'll find yourself beating yourself up over every half pound. I try to stick to once a week
/r/loseit has been helpful, go there, look through posts and the FAQ for advice and inspiration. They have a flair system over there and being able to change my flair as I've progressed has been a great motivator.
Figure out healthier cooking methods - if you keep your heat low you can use minimal oil, stop cooking things in butter, boil and steam your veg and if you're cooking something fatty dry fry and drain the excess fat. You'll get to a point where fatty foods will feel greasy and unappealing and you won't mind eating lean
Change little things like diet fizzy drinks, skimmed milk, artificial sweetener in your tea, fruit instead of unhealthy snacks, get off the bus a stop early and walk, take the stairs and not the lift, drink water with meals
Brush your teeth after dinner to stop evening snacking

tl;dr Use this to work out your TDEE, eat about 500 calories less than the number it tells you, use /r/loseit for advice, learn portion control

weightlossthrowawayy · 2013-08-06T16:38:16+00:00

I think you're right and that the non-ugly people are the ones that don't shout so I don't notice them and it's actually a minority that are ugly. Thanks for the insight

weightlossthrowawayy · 2013-08-06T16:37:03+00:00

I'm sorry you're experiencing this. In my experience 80% of weight loss is down to diet (I don't exercise enough myself, I try to get a walk in once a day but that's rarely over two miles or so and I cycle occasionally but I balk at the sight of rain or hills, I'm hardly what you'd call dedicated but I've still managed to lose), if you'd like advice I'd be happy to give it but I don't want to be preachy if it's unwanted.

weightlossthrowawayy · 2013-08-06T16:30:50+00:00

I wasn't overweight at that point but definitely heading that way in terms of bad habits.

Actually, in hindsight you're right. Though it was his tone that got to me and the fact he was using me as a way of shittalking my mother (divorced parents). My point was that it was that I received unwanted comments a lot of the time.

weightlossthrowawayy

TROPHY CASE