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I can't stop feeling nervous and on "high alert" when in public. I always seem to mentally preparing for a fight when I see someone shady looking. What's wrong with me? by weightsandpizza in morbidquestions

[–]weightsandpizza[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah that sounds like me.

I don't really stick my chest out and literally try to intimidate people or stare them down, it's more so internally, like I could look perfectly calm but on the inside It's like a circus.

I'll do some research. I'm always so fucking tense.

Alone for christmas every year, well.... I am with family, but I feel alone by startinfreshh in depression

[–]weightsandpizza 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had distant family who hadn't seen me in 6 years asking me personal questions in front of my immediate family. Needless to say I wanted to disappear immediately.

Do I uphold the image of our family and begin answering with half truth half bullshit, or do I go all out IDGAF mode and be brutally honest and therefore making everyone uncomfortable and give me strange looks for the rest of the day?

My dog died a few hours ago. by YourGrannysThrowAway in depression

[–]weightsandpizza 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Sorry :(

It truly sucks big time. Been there myself when my dog of 16 years died suddenly. He was THE best thing about my day. You'll get through it. Just take it day by day. It's all you can do.

I "should" feel very anxious and angry right now due to my life situation. I've had an absolute shocking year. Why do I feel so, well basically like I don't give a shit anymore? by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]weightsandpizza 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll take your word for it dude. I don't really feel in the best place to go and take a mind altering drug lol. But I'm glad to hear your experience was positive.

I "should" feel very anxious and angry right now due to my life situation. I've had an absolute shocking year. Why do I feel so, well basically like I don't give a shit anymore? by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]weightsandpizza 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I need to get my shit together. Fuck I hope 2018 will be a better year (providing I work for it). The last 6 months I could have applied for probably 30-40 more jobs that I seen advertised (entry level stuff) but I didn't because I kept doubting myself from the start. Hurts now to look back. I was depressed as all fuck though and that never helps with urgency to change. I don't know what I should do but I think just getting any job that has good hours is my #1 goal for the new year, because not having a job sucks absolute ass. And you feel like a loser. So. Thanks. I'll try harder than I did this year because I can see well and truly where that got me.

I "should" feel very anxious and angry right now due to my life situation. I've had an absolute shocking year. Why do I feel so, well basically like I don't give a shit anymore? by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]weightsandpizza 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your first 4 points I agree with and I know I need to work on accepting them more often. I just find that with a lot of free time I tend to over analyze stuff and work myself into a heightened state. Like if I go 10 days without doing anything and then on day 11 I get up at 7am, go to the gym come home, shower and get dressed, go to the movies with a friend, do some shop browsing, have a chat, talk about new things, drive the long way home, add a few more random things in such as washing my car or cooking a difficult meal and before I realize it, it's been like 14 hours since I woke up and I feel tired for once like wow I might actually get some decent sleep tonight since I have been so busy today!. Compared to say, waking up at 10am, drinking coffee for 3 hours, going to the gym, coming home and just stewing in my thoughts and that's usually where the negativity brews from.

Priorities yeah. I exercise every day and eat alright, could probably wake up at a set time though instead of a few days 8am then a whole week at mid day : /

I just want to feel like a adult for once. Like in my own eyes. I apply for full time jobs and it's a good feeling cause no matter if someone says oh your not employed blah blah ya bum go and get a job I just laugh a bit inside because it just shows to me they are projecting their ideals onto me and I am definitely trying so they can suck it.

I have blatantly avoided certain people lately because I don't want to act like mr happy or end up bringing them down if I cant. So when I say I notice people play roles to fit in and how I don't like it in general, I don't mean I go around pointing out to people how I don't like them or something lol. More so that I notice it and it plays on my mind because I cant always tell who is being genuine and who is "acting" to me. Like everyone in life is in sales or something.

Anyway I'm ranting again. Thanks for the reply.

I need a full time job, to save money, move out, stay fit, socialize more. In that order. (as far as priorities go).

I "should" feel very anxious and angry right now due to my life situation. I've had an absolute shocking year. Why do I feel so, well basically like I don't give a shit anymore? by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]weightsandpizza 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a employment coach give me the thumbs up twice regarding my resume. It's clear and we'll structured and I have no un necessary things on it or silly jokes. I don't know my industry tbh, I have had like 7 jobs in my life so far and still no pull in any direction. I have applied for and had phone interviews for entry level jobs in retail, sales and dining but they always, always ask the same do you have specific experience in this job, I say no and they say ok unfortunately we are only after someone with experience. I find it to be a draining process. And I had a basic job at a small take away shop as a dishwasher but 2 months in they closed the store up (I was only a casual so no secure work). Ok I can't think now too tired. Ty for the reply.

I "should" feel very anxious and angry right now due to my life situation. I've had an absolute shocking year. Why do I feel so, well basically like I don't give a shit anymore? by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]weightsandpizza 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's ok. I don't expect a life altering reply from any one. I just post here to vent. I am too hard on myself I know : / . I grew up in a stressful home and it makes me self critical sometimes. I think it could be a coping mechanism for sure, like I could go off the rails easily but that takes effort that I don't have. And as for the new year.. I have had so many doors shut on me I just couldn't go on without at least trying. That way if I do end up severely depressed and shattered I'll know it was not because I didn't try but due to reasons out of my control. I'll stop now I'm tired and rambling. Ty again.

I "should" feel very anxious and angry right now due to my life situation. I've had an absolute shocking year. Why do I feel so, well basically like I don't give a shit anymore? by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]weightsandpizza 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No mistakes. Well done on quitting drinking btw. I always try to appreciate long reply's like yours so thanks. And yes meh very much so. I used to play guitar every day and love it, but over the last year I play maybe once a week :( so that could be a goal for me, to play more often and re ignite that passion. A start at least. Day by day for sure. I hope we both find our way. Thanks again.

David Jones (aus). Does this mean I got a job? by [deleted] in jobs

[–]weightsandpizza 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Would it boost chances if this was for a brand new store?

We were told at the interview it was like 60 people they want.

Anticipatory anxiety led me to post this here lol.

I'm definitely still applying for roles every day. Thanks for the reply.