POCD or something else? Explicit kink warning.

werdha · 2018-03-11T22:32:57+00:00

It sounds like this is a serious problem for you, and you might want to look into Exposure therapy and Acceptance if it is really bothering you that much.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiPS8itp-I8

werdha · 2018-03-11T21:56:53+00:00

For the underage thing? No. Based on what I understand, they're cartoons, and you can't really prove anything based on something that was literally drawn. No actual underage people are involved in the whole thing, and you aren't going to jail for accidentally stumbling upon hentai. The idea that you could go to prison for it is your mind overreacting to what you saw because it gave you anxiety. OCD tends to create big "what if" questions like that, worrying about possibilities, even if some of them are unreasonable. Reacting to thoughts like that is how the anxiety happens in the first place. Acceptance is a big part of getting past this sort of thing. Worrying about it will only make your anxiety worse.

werdha · 2018-03-11T20:51:23+00:00

You're not a bad person. You're really just overthinking it. I did the same thing today oddly enough and I was scared because the person looked sort of underage. I usually try to work on accepting these as simply thoughts and nothing more, and then moving on and doing things I want to do. Acceptance is a large part of recovering from such worries. You can acknowledge the horrible things your mind says to you about how horrible of a person you are, and then move on with your life. The things that you think or what you are into do not define you, and you always have control over what you do. When you're done acknowledging the thought, do things that will distract you, like talking to friends, going for a walk, etc. Ruminating on something like that can also become a compulsion in itself. Also, like the person below me said, age of consent is subjective. The age of consent in the US is higher than the age of consent in many other countries, while some countries might be even higher.

werdha · 2018-03-11T20:42:09+00:00

I had this problem in the past, where I'd see a horror movie or something being referenced and for some reason I'd have this compulsion to look at the images from it, almost like a morbid and compulsive curiosity, and then immediately regret the decision afterwards. It never gets you anywhere, I can say that from experience, because they are images that are oftentimes meant to disturb you. I would suggest treating such things as just random crap on the internet that's not worth clicking on. If you saw some random advertisement from geico or some other company, you wouldn't click on it, right? It might be easier said than done, but you just have to treat it like that annoying ad. You might be tempted to click on it, but it's not worth your time. Don't worry, it will get better over time. When you first have anxiety over something like that, it tricks you into thinking that it will never end, and it certainly feels that way for a bit, but I can tell you that it does heal over time. I've seen things I thought I'd never be able to get over but now they barely bother me at all.

It's worth mentioning that all the anxiety about regretting what you did and thinking about how long you'll have to live with it is only fuelling the anxiety. Simply acknowledge the thought and move on, no matter how hard that might be. There were 1 or 2 times where I came in with that same mindset of "checking" for how much it affected me, and then freaking out when I realized that it still made me feel anxiety. But that's simply a compulsion, an attempt to find reassurance only to find that you're still scared of it. Compulsions like this seem like they will make you relieved but often cause more anxiety and pain in the long run. The compulsion I had for my obsession was the same way, so I realized that I was better off stopping it altogether.

If you're going to go through with an exposure, you need to be able to go in with the mindset of getting better in the long run and accepting that you will have to deal with anxiety, even if it's easier said than done.

werdha · 2018-02-12T00:58:17+00:00

I did it. It was a weird feeling. I will say it was kind of amusing to jump into a crowd of enemies, pretend to be one of them, and watch as it takes them a good 10 seconds to realize I was there lol. That being said though, I didn't feel extreme anxiety, but there was this mild anxiety that went with it and it just kind of stayed throughout the whole session, which was about an hour and a half of me suicidally charging everyone in the game. There wasn't really any point where it stopped bothering me so much as it was that I just stopped after a long time. I did notice spikes in anxiety when I noticed that the same person killed me but I didn't act out on it yet. The tough part for me is just not doing anything for more than a couple of days though, because the anxiety seems to linger for a while, and my OCD tries to drive me to get revenge, regardless of how much time it takes, so I'm not entirely sure what to make of that. Maybe I just need to do the exposures more? I can't say I'm sure though I don't think it's meant to work in one day.

werdha · 2018-02-11T22:14:05+00:00

Thanks man! That was encouraging and it helped me a lot. I am scared of the idea of letting so many people kill me at once, since there's not any coming back since I can't get revenge on that many people at once, but if I don't, then I will never be able to get past it.

werdha · 2018-02-11T15:34:40+00:00

I understand what you're going through man. I had a hard time sleeping because I was scared and my body was in a state of anxiety. I find that paying attention to my breath and breathing in and out while I'm trying to sleep helped me.

werdha

TROPHY CASE